The Landover Baptist Church Forum - False Christian Recipes

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False Christian Recipes

Now ladies, you all know that I am not much of a cook, outside of my special pig-on-a-spit feasts that are now famous around Freehold. I don't like to brag, but....

At any rate, I just wanted to warn you ladies about a false Christian website I ran across purely by accident (while I was looking at discount ammo dealers), and I couldn't believe my eyes. You can see what I mean HERE.

They start off alright:

Quote:

Welcome to 123Christians.com. Here is a collection of different Christian recipes. These Christian recipes have been collected from numerous sources giving them a diverse and rich food culture. The recipes are written in a simple manner that makes them easy to understand.

But then look at this blasphemy!!

Quote:

All the recipes listed hereunder are special for the different Christian occasions like Christmas, Thanksgiving and Halloween.

How in Jesus' name do they figure satan's birthday is a "Christian occasion"?!:fear2:

And just look at this so-called recipe for "Christmas Salad"!:angry:

Quote:

Christmas Salad

Ingredients

1 can (15 oz/ 425 g) lychees in heavy syrup
1 can (15 oz/ 425 g) stoneless red cherries in syrup
4 tablespoons of Cointreau or Kirsch
1/2 oz/ 15 g unsalted pistachio nuts
Boiling water

Method 1. Tip both fruits, with syrup, into a large dish; glass for preference so that the colors can show through.
2. Add liquer and toss gently yo mix.
3. Blanch pistachios by covering with boiling water and leaving for 1 minute. Drain and rinse under cold water.
4. Slide off skins then finely chop. Sprinkle over top of salad. Cover and refrigerate at least 3 hours before serving.

Why I don't even know what half of that stuff is. It sure doesn't sound like the delicious jello salad that Sister Thumper serves me, made with shredded carrots and Miracle Whip stirred in....

I urge all you God-fearing ladies to stay clear of this sacrilege. Don't be trying to serve those "lieing chink nuts" to your True Christian Man! Try that once, and you'll wake up on the other side of the kitchen, Praise Jesus.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 998)

How in Jesus' name do they figure satan's birthday is a "Christian occasion"?!:fear2:
And just look at this so-called recipe for "Christmas Salad"!:angry:

Pastor Zeke, that recipe made me shudder! I will assume these false Christians are Cathylickers, as Italyuns are always trying to find somewhere to hide their pistachios and booze. I once heard that people are all the same around the world, and that the latitude is what determines the kind of folks . . . if that's true, Italyuns are just Mediterranean Messicans and Oryentils are just Messicans who haven't learned how to shoplift. Anyway, all reicpes with more than a half dozen ingredients are suspect for being from the Devil's table. Finally, it goes without saying that real Christians celebrate Halloween by hunting witches!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson (Post 1014)

I will assume these false Christians are Cathylickers, as Italyuns are always trying to find somewhere to hide their pistachios and booze.

The banner at the top of the page looks as though it had been designed by Romanists, with an Eastern Orthodontist icon thown in, so I suspect that you're right.

How interesting - according to that site,Xmas is now secaular & Santa Claus is the reason for the season.:innocent:

And they trace the origins of Xmas back to pagan times.:devil:
Apparently the Christians "borrowed" it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilith (Post 3010)

NEVER post on this GODLY forum again when you are drunk!

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilith (Post 3010)

BLASPHEMY!!! God created Christmas to so we could celebrate the birth of our Saviour! If anything the pagans pre-stole the holiday.

Jesus is the reason for the season and don't you forget it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle (Post 3011)

NEVER post on this GODLY forum again when you are drunk!

Given that she's never sober, that pretty much bans her from ever fouling this site with her presence. I approve.

Re: False Christian Recipes

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance (Post 3201)

Given that she's never sober, that pretty much bans her from ever fouling this site with her presence. I approve.

He didn't mention anything else.:jesus:
Lucky,huh?:innocent:

Re: False Christian Recipes

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilith (Post 3429)

He didn't mention anything else.:jesus:
Lucky,huh?:innocent:

If you consider being roasted alive over 1,000 degree molten lava with a skewer shoved clear through from your bum to your mouth LUCKY, then I guess you are.

Re: False Christian Recipes

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilith (Post 3010)

Santa Claus can be traced back to Pagan times. Seems the Finns used to eat this mushroom:
http://psychicinvestigator.com/Drugs/IMG00004.GIF

and then the magic raindeer God would take them flying through the air! Thus we can prove that Santa Claus is a drug crazed nightmare waiting to steal our children's souls!