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James Hutchins 11-11-2013 01:33 AM

Help for the Philipinose
 
1 Attachment(s)
I just heard that indigent foreigners were devastated. This is a time, a hard time, when people need Jesus to help them. As True Christians ™ and even more importantly, the unsaved trash of the world (you want to become Christians and get a shot at Heaven) need to dig deep, way down deep and give to help these slants.
Obviously, these gooks are not very smart but they are owed basic human needs. In that end, I have arranged for an account to be opened at the Landover National Bank, located in Andorra, ABA#2315547, account #212399273459. Please wire transfer to that account. I have arranged to use some of the proceeds collected to supply water proof Bibles to the heathens. Praise the Gory! :yahoo:

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(Picture of Philipinose Book of Love-note the authentic wet pages)

Donovan A. Mordecai 11-11-2013 02:40 AM

Re: Help for the Philipinose
 
If you just give them handouts, they will become a bunch of free loaders. It's in their genetic makeup.

What we really should do is raise tariffs on water purifying equipment and building materials going into that area.

Just a gentle nudge to help them pull themselves up by the bootstraps

God Bless
DAM

Billy Bob Jenkins 11-11-2013 03:13 AM

Re: Help for the Philipinose
 
By giving the tribesmen of Philipeens the opportunity to tithe to Landover, we are giving them the opportunity to get right with God, so that He will never be forced to destroy their homes like this again. It hurts me to see them steal from God (are they Jews?), and now it is hurting them too. I want to heal the hurt the Phillipinese are causing themselves.

I imagine the saltwater crocodiles are enjoying themselves though. That eases my suffering somewhat.

Mark L. Snyde, PhD 11-11-2013 06:34 AM

Re: Help for the Philipinose
 
I visited the Philippines when I was in the military, and from what I saw, it really needed a good "washing." Praise be to Jesus for making it happen. :thumbsup:

Brother Hawkins 11-11-2013 06:37 AM

Re: Help for the Philipinose
 
I had a Philippino houseboy once. I sent him back because he smelled. They all do. They are not much better than Mexicans but at least they try to learn some of the local language. Maybe now they will reach out for salvation.

WilliamJenningsBryan 11-11-2013 09:06 AM

Re: Help for the Philipinose
 
I fear Brother Hutchins is right - we need a massive campaign with our mighty C-130 transports to airdrop Bibles (KJV1611) all over this nation. They need the shock and awe of Jesus.

These people are worse than the French with their thousands of cheeses - they speak from 120 to 175 different languages in what amounts to an island nation. They are truly a modern day Tower of Babel.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Languag...he_Philippines

Thomas Taylor 11-11-2013 09:16 AM

Re: Help for the Philipinose
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan (Post 1040471)
I fear Brother Hutchins is right - we need a massive campaign with our mighty C-130 transports to airdrop Bibles (KJV1611) all over this nation. They need the shock and awe of Jesus.

These people are worse than the French with their thousands of cheeses - they speak from 120 to 175 different languages in what amounts to an island nation. They are truly a modern day Tower of Babel.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Languag...he_Philippines

Brother William,

It is small wonder that this nation of papist idolators has had God smite them twice in nearly as many weeks. I would like to propose a Ministry Mission to this hellhole to fill as many of them as possible with the Love of Jesus.

Brother Larry 11-11-2013 04:56 PM

Re: Help for the Philipinose
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Thomas Taylor (Post 1040477)
Brother William,

It is small wonder that this nation of papist idolators has had God smite them twice in nearly as many weeks. I would like to propose a Ministry Mission to this hellhole to fill as many of them as possible with the Love of Jesus.

Please know that I would be willing to be a part of this mission. I know I could fill a few of them with the Love that springs forth from within me, washing them white as snow.

I would need a few days notice to get the time off from work. What should I bring besides swimsuits, at least one nice outfit, and my KJV1611?

Brother Noah 11-13-2013 05:40 PM

Re: Help for the Philipinose
 
oh i bet you will fill them. praise the lord

James Hutchins 11-13-2013 06:40 PM

Re: Help for the Philipinose
 
Well... the boidy count is not going to be a great as anticipated. It also seems there are plenty of people already on the ground.

So as to not overburden the already stressed airport (plus I hear the Manila Westin is booked with people from 'Save the Children') I am going to use the meager funds (barely $11MM) accumulated and hold a seminar in Kauai entitled "This is What Gods Does to a Country Full of Heathens".

All Gold Tither® and above men are whole heartedly invited to attend. Please, no more than two personal assistants.

Jack Rankan 11-13-2013 08:56 PM

Re: Help for the Philipinose
 
They recieved a Divine punishment. Who are we to send money to them and ubstruct Gods way of sorting the just from trash? If they pray hard, God will provide.

Matthew 7:7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you

Pastor Ezekiel 11-14-2013 01:40 AM

Re: Help for the Philipinose
 
Here's what I don't get:

When looking for survivors in the Philippines, how do they know when they've found someone they know? How can they tell? :huh:

Godfly 11-14-2013 03:53 AM

Re: Help for the Philipinose
 
This is just another false flag operation. I'm pretty sure the Philipines hasn't existed in years.

Alvin Moss 11-14-2013 04:16 AM

Re: Help for the Philipinose
 
I believe that if there is to be any aid rendered to these Chinamen, it ought to be on a basis of quid pro quo.

The island of Hispanola has proven to be an unsafe environment for Negroes, though they may possibly thrive among the Chinamen in the Phillipines. Both tribes are insolant, slothful wretches. The proof of God's anger with them is that the Mexicans in the Dominican Republic have no problems (other than the typical mayhem usually encountered in Roman Catholic countries and Mexican countries) and they are on the same island as the Haitians. At least the Mexicans don't get thrown back to the Dark Ages when there is a storm.

Now that Sean Penn is over there in Haiti stirring up the natives, anything could happen.

We could send the Hatians over to the land of the Chinamen in the Phillipines and give them some money to soothe the feelings of the locals. Everyone would happy.

That is my advice.

Thomas Taylor 11-14-2013 09:19 AM

Re: Help for the Philipinose
 
I had a call from my house boy this morning telling me that 50 bodies had been inconsiderate enough to wash up on the beach of my not insubstantial island retreat. He then had the insolence to enquire whether I would pay to have them burried to which I replied in the negative. I told him to take them to the opposite side of the island and throw them off the cliffs into deep water so that the waves could wash them back to thier families who are surely looking for them. I mean it's the least I could do, isn't it?

Ezekiel Bathfire 11-14-2013 11:35 AM

Re: Help for the Philipinose
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan (Post 1040471)
I fear Brother Hutchins is right - we need a massive campaign with our mighty C-130 transports to airdrop Bibles (KJV1611) all over this nation. They need the shock and awe of Jesus.

Good news! 20,000 CDs, all containing a full version of KJV1611 AND a concordance by Pastor Zeke have been dropped on the worst affected regions.

However, at home, our Prayer Warriors have been working solidly for 48 hours and I would like to think that there are those out there who could spare the odd $100 to support their efforts.

ExGay Alex 11-14-2013 12:15 PM

Re: Help for the Philipinose
 
I did my part today: I prayed. :pray2:

That is worth more than any financial contribution that I could make. I could probably only afford $5000 or so (a little short this month; I wanted to get one of those new iPad Airs, put the deposit down on next summer's vacation, etc.)

How much difference could $5000 that make? Probably a bed and clean water for 100 people AT MOST.

I decided to make a much larger contribution and pray for ALL the suffering Philipinose. That will help thousands and thousands more.

Prayer works! Praise!

Dr Laurence Niles 11-14-2013 01:37 PM

Re: Help for the Philipinose
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire (Post 1041250)
Good news! 20,000 CDs, all containing a full version of KJV1611 AND a concordance by Pastor Zeke have been dropped on the worst affected regions.

However, at home, our Prayer Warriors have been working solidly for 48 hours and I would like to think that there are those out there who could spare the odd $100 to support their efforts.

I wonder if CDs are an effective use of money. Would it not be cheaper and therefor less wasteful to simply use a 64 gig flash drive? They are really cheap and MILLIONS of Bibles can be loaded up into it's memory banks.

And they could be mailed to where it is this storm happened (about time the mail service did something useful).

YIC

Johny Joe Hold 11-14-2013 09:01 PM

Re: Help for the Philipinose
 
One thing we know is that in these crisis situations, there is a lot of sin, especially involving sex. That happened just a couple of years ago in Haiti.

What happens is there are no longer houses where men can lock the doors and keep women inside. Women start cruising about and before you know it they are inviting themselves into tents all over the place.

It was so bad in Haiti that Billy Graham's favorite son, Franklin, went over a couple of times to save souls for Jesus right in the suvival camp.

This is a decision for our pastors, but I'm wondering if, instead of sending money or supplies, we should fire up the Boeing 747, go over there and do some preachin' about the sin that is going on. Just a thought.

Dr Laurence Niles 11-14-2013 09:56 PM

Re: Help for the Philipinose
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold (Post 1041370)
One thing we know is that in these crisis situations, there is a lot of sin, especially involving sex. That happened just a couple of years ago in Haiti.

What happens is there are no longer houses where men can lock the doors and keep women inside. Women start cruising about and before you know it they are inviting themselves into tents all over the place.

It was so bad in Haiti that Billy Graham's favorite son, Franklin, went over a couple of times to save souls for Jesus right in the suvival camp.

This is a decision for our pastors, but I'm wondering if, instead of sending money or supplies, we should fire up the Boeing 747, go over there and do some preachin' about the sin that is going on. Just a thought.

More of an issue for myself is the co relation of anal sex to God's Wrath Coefficient (¥). As ¥ approaches 1 the chance of Jesus leveling an area approaches certainty.

It's not just Pillipeana that has anal sex induced just punishment. Hurricane Katrina resulted in flooding 80 percent of New Orleans and 1,833 deaths, causing untold damage. In 2006, Godly John Haggee of San Antonio, Texas, said “God caused Hurricane Katrina to wipe out New Orleans because it had a gay pride parade the week before and was filled with sexual sin.” Who could argue with this?

In January 2010 the Earthquake in Haiti, about 316,000 people perished. Even those no good joos can see the writing on the wall. In a rare case of seeing reason, secretive and shady Rabbi Yehunda Levin, spokesman for the Joo Cabals in charge of banking of America in Brooklyn tells news outlets in yet another fund raiser for free rhinoplasty why this Earthquake happened far from American shores.

That's right:

Gays in the U.S. military! “We have seen the underground earthquake, tsunami, Katrina and now Haiti. All that the practice of homosexuality is a spiritual cause of earthquakes,” Rabbi Levin shrieked, pocketing wads of cash into his manbag. “We plead with saner heads in Congress and the Pentagon to stop sodomization of our military and our society. Enough is enough" his high pitched feminine voice continued, climbing into his companion's Toyota Prius.

Let us not forget the earthquake in Virginia, August 2011 that caused about $300 million in damage in at least a dozen states. Rearranging the furniture just for the fun of it?

God is not fun, no sir, no way. The truth? Well, it sounds like the gaywise up to their old anal tricks again. :angry:

I'm sure it will come as no surprise to True Christians™ anywhere to find out that Virginia State University Counseling Center in conjunction with Residence Life and Gays and Lesbians Affirming Diversity sponsored a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning Training facilitated by the Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest LGBT civil rights organization are actively not condemning homersexuality! This is just playing with fire. God will not be mocked :angry:

Let's face it you don't have to be Noah to know what's going to happen next.

YIC


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