(HELP ME) COOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
 

You've got to help me.

I've caught the fever.

The Iowa Corn Fever.

I just can't get enought corn!

No, no corn on the cob, fresh corn, frozen corn. I mean real corn. Corn chips corn flakes puffed corn, of SWEET LORD CORN CORN CORN!

Really it's puffed corn that drives me wild. Where can I find it? I've been buying this "cajun mix" but God punished Lousinia for a reason. I want the PURE CORN EXPERIENCE!!!!

No, popcorn won't do it for me. That's like a whole different grain. It has to be CORN! CORN!

What, am I the only one with The Fever?

And you dare to call yourselves Iowans??????\
http://www.employeeleasingquotes.com...owa%20corn.jpg

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Re: (HELP ME) COOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
 

:pokey:

Don't make me come over there.

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You do know corn is a vegetable right?

Christians should eat meat: Genesis 9:3 "Every moving thing that liveth, shall be meat for you."

Not plants: Romans 14:2 "For one believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs."

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Jeb is the fith person in a year in Freehold to get that. We picked up one not very young lady on Rout 34 who and tied corn cobs all over body but was otherwise naked. What the heck is going on?

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As a True Christian™, I am careful about my feelings for corn. The occasional cob of corn can be an acceptable component of a Christian diet. However, the desire for a bountiful harvest must find expression in prayer, and not in any of the following:

1. The construction of fertility symbols

2. The introduction of fertility symbols into the rectum

3. The worship of corn as an ithyphallic icon.

4. The reshaping of corn into vodou paraphernalia.

5. Seeking auspicious portents by divining by human or animal entrails or by observing the flight of birds.

6. Necromancy or veneration of the dead

7. The sacrifice of rum and chickens to strange gods.

8. Supporting the unionization of migrant farmers, esp. by voting democrat.

9. A belief in agricultural spiritualism

10. Harvest festivals, the construction of corn dollies, or initiation into the heathen Old Cornwall Society.

11. Observation of the chink Moon Festival, the largest harvest festival in the world and an affront to God.

12. Animistic belief in the Corn Spirit or Corn Mother.

The list goes on.

Re: (HELP ME) COOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
 

well, I always been a bit wary of corn. one time, cousin jeb got a hold of some vhs what was very influential on him? for several weeks cousin jeb decided to worship "He Who Walks Behind the Rows". well, he lost interest in that demon after he saw "Footloose", which opened its own can of worms.

In His name,

Lori H

Re: (HELP ME) COOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
 

I do hope that "not" is a typo.

The 'h' and the 'n' are right next to each other on the keyboard, after all!

Re: (HELP ME) COOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
 

No, that "not" is quite deliberate. We first thought she had senior dementia until she start talking a lot like Jeb is.

This some kind of marketing thing? :unsure:

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This post is simply amaizing.

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LOL. Great pun. You truly are a funny guy. You intentionally spelled "amazing" to mesh beautifully with "maize". You're hysterical, Rebuko.

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Huh? What joke?

Are you saying i speled "amaizing" wrong? :huh:

Re: (HELP ME) COOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
 

Hey! This thread is CORNY!

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Reverand, please don't mock Rebuko. You know he is a good and solid Christian. But when have you ever seen Rebuko make a joke even bring a smile to someone's face? Comedy is not how being a Christian clown works.

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Re: (HELP ME) COOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
 

Only when it's fresh. Once it's dry it's a grain, which is basically beer that hasn't gotten around to fermenting yet.

The one that really drives into an Iowa Corn Frenzy™ is something that I don't even know the name of. It's sort of like puffed corn, but it's crunchy, and still in the kernal shape (but dry, so it's NOT a vegetable). I buy in trail mix form, and throw the rest of the mix away. Just WHAT is that manna from Heaven called (so that I can find it and buy it)? It looks exactly like this:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi..._the_Manna.jpg


"...the people went about and gathered it, and ground it in mills or beat it in mortars, and boiled it in pots, and made cakes of it; and the taste of it was like the taste of cakes baked with oil." (Numbers 11:7-8)

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Is the fun going to start SOON? :Jumpy:

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Jeb,

I am having a problem following you here; it sounds like you are saying corn is what the Bible calls mana and the American Indians pre-stole corn from us Christians like they pre-stole North America?

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Didn't the GODLY President Bush like corn-holing?

If President Bush likes it - I like it. :thumbsup:

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Cornography? :bad:

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Is that anything like an Alaskan Salmon Frenzy? Because that may be fun to imagine, but when the Conservative Ladies Committee ended up falling into one....We just couldn't look at each other afterwards. I mean, you know how much it hurts when you bite your tongue? Imagine that times 100.*

*Or is it divided by? To the power of? I wish a had a big man brain to figure out this math stuff.