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-   -   hello, may I hang here?.. (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=772)

opinely homer 11-06-2006 02:19 PM

hello, may I hang here?..
 
...meant in the nice way.

No secrets. I am a homer
and a pundit.
There is no Je--- in my life; don't know how to live hole, not yet.

Perhaps, if I could participate here, someone good will rub off on me.

About me:

I'm a superficially nice guy, and have lived celibate for many
hours. No STDS for over 14 weeks.

You Landovers are such kind people;
by your helps I might improve myself. Am sure
I can become a credit to my race.
How can I prove my sincerity? May I
entrap a priest for y'all?

One problem:
I'm not quite ready to accept Je--- yet;
perhaps in time, when I learn more and begin to feel, what?
Does it feel like a tingle? Or is is a creeping sensation?

I am unsaved. Perhaps I can't be saved. But you and I can try
to love the sinner. Which reminds me, I like sailors; have a joke to that effect, for another time.

Thanks gentle poeple!

o.h. me




_____________________
Cure all personal frictions with Christ and Crisco

eliot mayfield 11-06-2006 02:26 PM

Re: hello, may I hang here?..
 
certainly. We welcome all those seeking Christ. But you cannot find Christ if you're "that way". You have to go straight to go to Paradise!

opinely homer 11-06-2006 02:30 PM

Re: hello, may I hang here?..
 
But they firebombed Paradise last Octember. I've been looking for Christ since then. I can tell you only this: He's not at Thirteen Buttons.

Q: What does it feel like when we let Christ enter us?

Curious, yellow,

o.h. me

eliot mayfield 11-06-2006 02:33 PM

Re: hello, may I hang here?..
 
Since you've came here to mock us, I put you on probation.

Enobarbus 11-06-2006 04:09 PM

Re: hello, may I hang here?..
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by eliot mayfield (Post 14314)
Since you've came here to mock us, I put you on probation.

Really, it is no wonder that the Lord describes these people as an "Abomination". Bitter, mocking, nasty, and catty -- typical of those who give themselves over to the great sin of indulgence in unatural affections. They must live such unhappy lives, and with an eternity of Hell Fire in front of them!

Let us praise the Lord Brother, that we are of the elite -- the Lord's anointed, and not poor lost souls like our sad friend here.

Brother Temperance 11-06-2006 04:17 PM

Re: hello, may I hang here?..
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by opinely homer (Post 14312)
Curious, yellow,

Argh! Brothers and Sisters, I am shocked to find we appear to have a Swede in our midst! Would it be too excessive to suggest putting the whole of Freehold onto Spicy Orange alert until this Scandomenace is contained?

Enobarbus 11-06-2006 04:38 PM

Re: hello, may I hang here?..
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance (Post 14331)
Argh! Brothers and Sisters, I am shocked to find we appear to have a Swede in our midst! Would it be too excessive to suggest putting the whole of Freehold onto Spicy Orange alert until this Scandomenace is contained?

Fortunately Brother Eliot was on hand -- the Lord protects his own -- when this sad creature attempted to breach our defenses, and with great alacrity clapped it straight into Quarantine.

Brother Eliot quickly donned his homer arresting rubber suit so will not need to undergo more than a routine disinfection.

Still, in case it has friends that are still at large Pastor Pistle has put all of freehold on a spicy Orange alert.


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