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Nobar King 04-10-2009 07:39 PM

How can pirates be stopped?
 
How can pirates be stopped?

US military chiefs are preparing to bolster their forces on the Horn of Africa to help tackle Somali pirates who are holding a US captain hostage. How can the pirates be defeated?

Post your suggestions here:

JennyD 04-10-2009 07:41 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Arm all cargo ships and blow them out of the water.

Death penalty for piracy.

Palmer C. Eldrich 04-10-2009 07:48 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Cargo ships should have more ninjas on them.

Brother_Percy 04-10-2009 07:49 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Nobar King (Post 314148)
How can pirates be stopped?

US military chiefs are preparing to bolster their forces on the Horn of Africa to help tackle Somali pirates who are holding a US captain hostage. How can the pirates be defeated?

Post your suggestions here:

People have to learn to say no to piracy. Piracy is used to fund crime and criminal activities, and pirate quality is nowhere near as good as you'd get in cinemas.

It starts in the home, tell your children to stop downloading pirated videos. If you find any pirate dvds or videos in your child's room, they should be disciplined. If anyone offers you a pirate dvd or video, call the Police Department immediately. Tell them where and when you were offered pirates, and describe the man who tried to sell them to you. Also, tell your friends to do the same.

We must spread the word that piracy is wrong, illegal and unethical. It is just the same as theft, and a terrible crime. You wouldnt walk into a store and steal a movie, so why are so many people willing to buy a pirate ? It is exactly the same thing.

Ezekiel Bathfire 04-10-2009 07:54 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
I hold them spaghetti monster worshippers to blame! They seem obsessed with pirates, their false god has encouraged many jigaboos to take up iniquitous crimes against honest merchants. The Lord needs us to rid the world of these scum!

Sister JennyD, the death penalty is the only language they understand yet this implies a trial! Why should they be given a trial? Did they give their victims a trial? Where's the lynch-mob when you want one? Floating gallows (or for artistic effect, a floating tree)! That's the answer! (There's plenty of people we know who could do the job. :thumbsup:)

Brother_Percy 04-10-2009 08:01 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire (Post 314153)
I hold them spaghetti monster worshippers to blame! They seem obsessed with pirates, their false god has encouraged many jigaboos to take up iniquitous crimes against honest merchants. The Lord needs us to rid the world of these scum!

Exactly Brother Bathfire. This scum needs to pay for their crimes! People who try to sell you pirates are quite often junkies or drug addicts. They will use the money you give them to buy more drugs, and also give drugs to innocent children.

I would just like to add, if you see anyone in the cinema looking suspicious, either with a video camera or holding their camera-phone up towards the cinema screen, inform one of the cinema staff immediately. Or else call the Police yourself. Piracy is theft, and theft is a crime.

Dr. Zaius 04-10-2009 08:06 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
http://images.cafepress.com/product/...x150_Front.JPGI stopped buying slices at the local pizzeria after I heard that there were rats in the back.

Bobby-Joe 04-10-2009 08:07 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
I think we need to let the Freemarket decided this piracy issue. After all these pirates are helping themselves up by the boot straps kind of guys. Instead of starving in Somalia they get off their lazy butts and go take over a cargo vessel and kill the crew. We could use some of that can-do attitude the Somalis have here in America.

The real problem is the navy patrol vessels, this nanny state socialized military nonsense means the cargo ships crew aren't defending themselves. They just let their throats be cut and valuable cargo stolen from hard working ship owners like the lazy union looters they are.

Brother Temperance 04-11-2009 12:31 AM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Maybe instead of going along with Obama's Godless socialist ideas, we should attempt to salvage the economy by raising taxes on eyepatches, wooden legs and parrots? That would simultaneously boost the economy and help discourage piracy. :thumbsup:

Pastor Ezekiel 04-11-2009 12:39 AM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Brothers and sisters in Christ, I have a plan that will, if not eliminate, at least greatly reduce the pirate population of the world.

It turns out that most of these pirates are from a mysterious land called "Someali." I have been told by sources within the DOF that "Someali" actually has no government. That's right! No police force, no president, no schools, no armies, nothing! :o

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? :Jumpy:

The Board of Deacons is holding an emergency meeting on Saturday to discuss this matter further. I'm going to propose we send Brother Wide-Open and Brother Temperance to establish a second True Christian™ homeland, where the Holy KJV Bible is the law of the land! GLORY!!!

Brother Temperance 04-11-2009 12:49 AM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 314261)
The Board of Deacons is holding an emergency meeting on Saturday to discuss this matter further. I'm going to propose we send Brother Wide-Open and Brother Temperance to establish a second True Christian™ homeland, where the Holy KJV Bible is the law of the land! GLORY!!!

May I request that we be accompanied by Ron Paul? I don't agree with some of that boy's liberal positions, but I admire his commitment to rolling back big government, and I feel that he deserves the chance to try living in a truly libertarian society, with no socialistic Red tape whatsoever. :thumbsup:

Capt. Aaron Portway 04-11-2009 01:11 AM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
These are Somali "pirates" in their "pirate ship".


This is an American Destroyer.



This is the "pirate ship" after refusing to be boarded by sailors on the American Destroyer.


Seems simple to me.







Bobby-Joe 04-11-2009 01:23 AM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance (Post 314267)
May I request that we be accompanied by Ron Paul? I don't agree with some of that boy's liberal positions, but I admire his commitment to rolling back big government, and I feel that he deserves the chance to try living in a truly libertarian society, with no socialistic Red tape whatsoever. :thumbsup:

Wow, I think Zeke may be on to something here. This Solimia sounds like paradise. All those fat cat looters can just starve, only the best s

SayvedByTheLord 04-11-2009 01:41 AM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 314261)
Brothers and sisters in Christ, I have a plan that will, if not eliminate, at least greatly reduce the pirate population of the world.

It turns out that most of these pirates are from a mysterious land called "Someali." I have been told by sources within the DOF that "Someali" actually has no government. That's right! No police force, no president, no schools, no armies, nothing! :o

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? :Jumpy:

The Board of Deacons is holding an emergency meeting on Saturday to discuss this matter further. I'm going to propose we send Brother Wide-Open and Brother Temperance to establish a second True Christian™ homeland, where the Holy KJV Bible is the law of the land! GLORY!!!

It's about time that we went back there to bring the skinnys to Jesus. Several cruise missles should be good for a small start. :thumbsup:

Pastor Ezekiel 04-11-2009 01:48 AM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by SayvedByTheLord (Post 314292)
It's about time that we went back there to bring the skinnys to Jesus. Several cruise missles should be good for a small start. :thumbsup:

Honestly, I don't think we'd need more than a few Glocks. The country is just waiting to be ruled by Jesus.

Nobar King 04-11-2009 02:11 AM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
We still have a few cases of Hershey's bars left over from last year's mission to Australia. The natives will love those, assuming that we can keep them from melting.

Brother Temperance 04-11-2009 10:09 AM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Nobar King (Post 314297)
We still have a few cases of Hershey's bars left over from last year's mission to Australia. The natives will love those, assuming that we can keep them from melting.

If they melt, we can just sell them to the wogs as make-up. They'll be impressed either way.

Wide-Open 04-11-2009 11:21 AM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 314261)
The Board of Deacons is holding an emergency meeting on Saturday to discuss this matter further. I'm going to propose we send Brother Wide-Open and Brother Temperance to establish a second True Christian™ homeland, where the Holy KJV Bible is the law of the land! GLORY!!!

Excellent idea Pastor. I'm quite used to having no government, no police force, no president, no armies, and savages all around me. :thumbsup: So count me in!

PS: can I go by plane? It somehow seems safer. :ph34r:

eliot mayfield 04-11-2009 12:36 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
I would like to volunteer. I have experience at sea and I am very good with firearms as well as a compound bow which is fairly quiet for when stealth is an option.

Ezekiel Bathfire 04-11-2009 01:51 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
As much as I’d like to accompany you younger Brothers on this Godly mission, two things conspire against it:

1)I have to prepare for the Bathfire Vivisection Lecture on “Chinchillas, the Animal that is Immune from Pain.”
2)I felt a twinge in my back the other day and fear I might be more of a liability than an asset were I to go anywhere foreign.

Nevertheless, I feel I must do something for this Godly endeavor, therefore I have set myself the task of designing and creating a monument to those will give their lives for God in Somalia.

The thrust of the design will be cast in bronze and will depict a frenzied crown of demented jigaboos (some with eye-patches and/or parrots) hacking a True Christian to Death (Pastor Wide O has kindly agreed to pose) with machetes (piccaninnies in the background will be eating entrails) – Above, there will be a cloud with a hole in it through which a Perfectly formed finger will point, as if at the moment of smiting.

(This won’t be a cheap affair, so all donations gratefully received.)

Wide-Open 04-11-2009 01:58 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
So I did. :unsure: Brother Bathfire, was this when we were experimenting with single malts to test their quality as demon repellents?

If so, we, um, need to talk.

Matthew 7:22
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?

Ezekiel Bathfire 04-11-2009 02:16 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Wide-Open (Post 314365)
So I did. :unsure: Brother Bathfire, was this when we were experimenting with single malts to test their quality as demon repellents?

If so, we, um, need to talk.

Don’t worry Brother Wide O, there is no shame in nakedness when it is in the service of The Lord and anyway, there’s not much visible of your male member, which has already been hacked off and being waved aloft. :thumbsup:

PS I rather think that the Laphroaig 30 you tested caused demons rather than repelled them and I have excluded it from further testing. I’ve also wiped the tape clean for fear of upsetting Pastor Zeke; you were clearly possessed.

JennyD 04-11-2009 08:37 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Nobar King (Post 314297)
We still have a few cases of Hershey's bars left over from last year's mission to Australia. The natives will love those, assuming that we can keep them from melting.

Natives melt? :fear2:

Pastor Ezekiel 04-12-2009 08:02 AM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JennyD (Post 314470)
Natives melt? :fear2:

Given the right temperature, yes. B)

Eugene Hackwith 04-12-2009 02:57 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
I blame the missionaries who were in charge of converting these heathen Somalians. They obviously didn't do a very good job of opening their eyes to Christ. Although, the missionaries were most likely Catholic, so how can you expect their converts to commit anything other than violence and thievery?

I'm a big believer in the power of prayer. Perhaps if we all prayed to Jesus, He would see fit to convince these pirates to throw down their rocket launchers and return to their villages.

SayvedByTheLord 04-12-2009 10:05 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
I see our Godly Navy SEALS® took out the skinny pirates today and saved the fine American captain of the cargo ship.

:fighting0036: Great Job !! :usa27:

Pastor Ezekiel 04-13-2009 12:31 AM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by SayvedByTheLord (Post 314731)
I see our Godly Navy SEALS® took out the skinny pirates today and saved the fine American captain of the cargo ship.

:fighting0036: Great Job !! :usa27:

I am not at liberty to say much on this subject, but I will say this; Pastor Pistle is back home and safe. And he still has it. :thumbsup: :secret:

Nobar King 04-13-2009 11:31 AM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
The communists are already blaming the United States for the pirates in Somalia:
http://chamachamwananchi.wordpress.c...ed-in-somalia/

JennyD 04-13-2009 08:28 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
And now the pirates are threatening the US and France!

http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/africa...ef=mpstoryview

Quote:

The military actions angered Ali Nur, a pirate who is based in Gara'ad, a coastal village in the semi-autonomous region of Puntland, in northern Somalia.

"From now on, after the killings by the U.S. and France, we will add some harsher steps in our dealings with hostages, particularly American and French hostages," Nur told a journalist.

The U.S. military acknowledged Sunday that its actions to rescue Phillips could increase the risk of violence.

"This could escalate violence in this part of the world. No question about it," U.S. Navy Vice Adm. Bill Gortney told reporters.

Nur issued a warning to the United States.

"The killing of our boys was aggression, and the U.S. will see what they get from their operation," he said.

Brother Temperance 04-13-2009 10:15 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JennyD (Post 314981)
And now the pirates are threatening the US and France!

http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/africa...ef=mpstoryview

To be fair to the spear-chucking savages, you can hardly blame them for being angry. They've just been defeated by the French. Can you imagine how that must feel?

Nobar King 04-17-2009 06:10 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
You can always throw a barrel of lawyers at them:
Quote:

Court jails Pirate Bay founders


http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/image...ratebay512.jpg
Pirate Bay's Peter Sunde, speaking on his website: 'We cannot and wouldn't pay'

Frederik Neij, Gottfrid Svartholm Warg, Carl Lundstrom and Peter Sunde were found guilty of breaking copyright law and were sentenced to a year in jail. They were also ordered to pay $4.5m (£3m) in damages.

Record companies welcomed the verdict but the men are to appeal and Sunde said they would refuse to pay the fine. Speaking at an online press conference, he described the verdict as "bizarre". It's serious to actually be found guilty and get jail time. It's really serious. And that's a bit weird," Sunde said. "It's so bizarre that we were convicted at all and it's even more bizarre that we were [convicted] as a team. The court said we were organised. I can't get Gottfrid out of bed in the morning. If you're going to convict us, convict us of disorganised crime. We can't pay and we wouldn't pay. Even if I had the money I would rather burn everything I owned, and I wouldn't even give them the ashes."

The damages were awarded to a number of entertainment companies, including Warner Bros, Sony Music Entertainment, EMI, and Columbia Pictures. However, the total awarded fell short of the $17.5m in damages and interest the firms were seeking. Speaking to the BBC, the chairman of industry body the International Federation of the Phonographic Industry (IFPI) John Kennedy said the verdict sent out a clear message. "These guys weren't making a principled stand, they were out to line their own pockets. There was nothing meritorious about their behaviour, it was reprehensible. The Pirate Bay did immense harm and the damages awarded doesn't even get close to compensation, but we never claimed it did. There has been a perception that piracy is OK and that the music industry should just have to accept it. This verdict will change that," he said.
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/image...ebayserver.jpg
The Pirate Bay's first server is now a museum exhibit in Stockholm
The four men denied the charges throughout the trial, saying that because they did not actually host any files, they were not doing anything wrong. Speaking on Swedish Radio, assistant judge Klarius explained how the court reached its findings. "The court first tried whether there was any question of breach of copyright by the file-sharing application and that has been proved, that the offence was committed. The court then moved on to look at those who acted as a team to operate the Pirate Bay file-sharing service, and the court found that they knew that material which was protected by copyright but continued to operate the service," he said.

A lawyer for Carl Lundstrom, Per Samuelson, told journalists he was shocked by the guilty verdict and the severity of the sentence. "That's outrageous, in my point of view. Of course we will appeal," he was quoted as saying by Reuters news agency. "This is the first word, not the last. The last word will be ours."

Political issue
Rickard Falkvinge, leader of The Pirate Party - which is trying to reform laws around copyright and patents in the digital age - told the BBC that the verdict was "a gross injustice". "This wasn't a criminal trial, it was a political trial. It is just gross beyond description that you can jail four people for providing infrastructure.
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/image...4_mulligan.jpg Mark Mulligan from Forrester Research says what was different about Pirate Bay
"There is a lot of anger in Sweden right now. File-sharing is an institution here and while I can't encourage people to break copyright law, I'm not following it and I don't agree with it. Today's events make file-sharing a hot political issue and we're going to take this to the European Parliament."

The Pirate Bay is the world's most high profile file-sharing website and was set up in 2003 by anti-copyright organisation Piratbyran, but for the last five years it has been run by individuals. Millions of files are exchanged using the service every day. No copyright content is hosted on The Pirate Bay's web servers; instead the site hosts "torrent" links to TV, film and music files held on its users' computers.

Ezekiel Bathfire 04-17-2009 09:35 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Justice at last! I’m beginning to warm to those Swedes despite all that has been said about them – well, their justice system at least.

Mind you, the punishment is hardly a deterrent; a Swedish Prison has hot and cold running women, drugs of your choice and 5 bedroom en-suite cells with 38" TVs and full Dolby Surround Sound. Inmates are only required to attend on Thursday afternoons as long as their social workers say that’s OK. If they fail to attend on Thursdays they miss out on taking part in water-skiing, motorbike racing, game-hunting, fishing or sky diving.

I just do not understand the morality of anyone who would want to rip off artists who struggle to make ends meet whilst producing commercial music however transient their star is.

Then there is Microsoft or any number of other producers of flawless software at most reasonable prices – can you imagine how the shareholders have suffered because of these robbing Swedes?
Quote:

It is just gross beyond description that you can jail four people for providing infrastructure.
I see no difference between what they have done and handing over the keys to Fort Knox to anyone who wants them!

Brian Dyk 04-17-2009 10:41 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
We could lure those monkey pirates away with a few bananas and some curious george porn.

Nobar King 04-22-2009 02:40 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
I don't understand much about global politics. I'm a simple guy. This video for kids shows how pirates are like terrorists:


Nobar King 09-16-2009 02:03 AM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Halloween is almost here and that means more pirates. I have a problem with pirates in my neighborhood, though. This household put a pirate ship in their yard last year on Halloween and never took it away. I guess they thought it would be easier to just leave it all year for the next Halloween.

You can see that they fly the skull and crossbones and not an American flag. It's obvious what their priorities are. http://i350.photobucket.com/albums/q...s/683481db.jpg
If this eyesore isn't gone by Nov. 5, I'm going to call the planning dept. and ask them to do something about this accessory structure. It doesn't belong in a family neighborhood. I'm sure they're violating some kind of code by leaving it in place, not to mention that's it an eyesore and unpatriotic, too.

Nobar King 09-30-2009 10:22 PM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Two other neighbors complained to me about the pirate ship in the yard of this neighbor, so I convinced the two of them to call after me to the planning dept. It appears that our complaints were taken seriously, because the pirate ship was gone by the following week. Good riddance. However, the neighbors transferred their skull and crossbones flag to their perch for all to see how un-patriotic they are.
http://i350.photobucket.com/albums/q...pirateflag.jpg

JennyD 10-01-2009 12:28 AM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
Are they "butt pirates", Brother Nobar? :fear2:

Nobar King 10-01-2009 02:20 AM

Re: How can pirates be stopped?
 
If the flag was pink I might think so, but I think they're just trying to entertain their kids.


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