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-   -   Cars Americans Should Own (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=46610)

Bob4God 07-14-2010 10:14 PM

Cars Americans Should Own
 
I want to break America's dependency on foreign oil, so I have created a list of Patriot wagons that have very large fuel tanks capable of storing more gasoline at once, thereby reducing the number of times you have to fuel your vehicle in a week.

My 2008 Chevy Suburban is getting old and you can bet your bottom dollar the next car I purchase will be one off this list:

Cadillac Escalade: $60,685 - $84,098

I like this one, it's got plenty of room for storing rifles in the back, and with tires like those, you can drive over the roughest of potholes and still not spill your 64 ounce cola.

It can get up to 16 miles per gallon, which I think is very reasonable, especially in our struggling Obamaconomy.

http://www.freewebs.com/pumpguy/esca...rilles_cat.jpg

Ford F150: $22,127 - $33,685

I like the roomy backseat in this one. Plus it will help win the culture war because it was made by Ford and they didn't take any bailout money.

The F150 is a lean, mean driving machine that delivers somewhere between 18 to 21 miles to the GODly gallon.
http://www.ford-cars.cn/wp-content/u...ordF150_RR.jpg

Dodge Ram: $28,388 - $41,525

Dodge sure does know how to build a manly truck. The BFT features an extra-wide body and is perfect for navigating tricky city streets and suburban neighborhoods, and it helps prevent accidents because it discourages people from passing you.

The Dodge Ram is an American dream, whether you're puttering around town getting 14 miles to the gallon, or cruising the open highway at 20 miles per gallon.

My only concern is that it might not fit in my garage.


http://www.rpmgo.com/images/dodge_ram_bft.jpg


Mercury Mountaineer: $28,983 - $36,425

Sport Utility Vehicles are a GODly invention and every American should own one or two of them. I am seriously looking at this one as my next purchase.

Like all SUVs, this little go kart won't disappoint the American family with its fuel economy. It gets between 14 to 25 miles per gallon.

http://media.dealerskins.com/carspec...%5C5OD-4UG.jpg

Chrysler Town and Country: $25,175 - $35,060

This baby can haul a lot of people to church at once. I had the pleasure of driving one in Kansas, and it is aptly named. They can be kind of hard to navigate around the tight corners of a fast food drive-through, but entirely worth the extra space for the daily needs of an average American family.

The gas mileage runs about 17 MPG in town and 24 on the highway.

http://image.automobilemag.com/f/gre...arter_view.jpg


These are the absolute best cars you can buy right now. I encourage you to buy two or three, and drive everywhere. Walking is for communists!

Ezekiel Bathfire 07-14-2010 10:38 PM

Re: Cars Americans Should Own
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bob4God (Post 558857)
[...]These are the absolute best cars you can buy right now. I encourage you to buy two or three, and drive everywhere. Walking is for communists!

I heartily endorse those sentiments. Having traveled the world (and crossed into Canada once by mistake) I can tell you that the country with the best infrastructure is the country with the best economy.

No point having roads if you're not going to use them and when you have the best roads, why, it's natural to want to drive the best on them.

No point having a car that you have to squash into to an extent where the blood to your extremities stops, and who knows when you might be called upon to transport 3 chemical toilets, a dead moose or tow a woodchipper up a mountain?

Space - that's what people want - God gave space to America, God gave America large houses, large cars, large everything.

These snivelling, piss-ant foreign, so-called automobiles, 10 foot long, powerless and with their 65 mpg might be OK for 600 Million Eurofags stuck on a continent the size of Rhode Island but that is taking things to extremes - which is perhaps un-American. America demands the grunting power that only a 437 Cubic Inch piece of Detroit iron can spit out and realises that 25mpg is about as far as you can go without being seen as a homer.

If technology like that was good enough for my grandfather, it's good enough for me!

Nobar King 07-14-2010 10:47 PM

Re: Cars Americans Should Own
 
Or, you could try a classic: Buick Riviera

Brother Harold Porter 07-14-2010 11:05 PM

Re: Cars Americans Should Own
 
I don't mess with any of these new fangled cars built past 1970. My blown Hemi Barracuda may only get 3 miles to the gallon, but I get where I'm going so quickly it's the same as having a 40 mpg go-cart built by the slants.

Praise Jesus for the Detroit of the Sixties!






http://www.moparts.org/moparts/pictu...eb/6/hemi1.jpg

Billy Bob Jenkins 07-15-2010 12:12 AM

Re: Cars Americans Should Own
 
The Jenkins Family Car

http://img692.imageshack.us/img692/6...sfamilycar.jpg

Lisa H 07-15-2010 12:28 AM

Re: Cars Americans Should Own
 
This is my car

http://i960.photobucket.com/albums/a.../torana001.png

Bob4God 07-15-2010 01:20 AM

Re: Cars Americans Should Own
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa H (Post 558958)

You know, those words never come out of a True Christian woman's mouth.

Lisa H 07-15-2010 01:25 AM

Re: Cars Americans Should Own
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bob4God (Post 558985)
You know, those words never come out of a True Christian woman's mouth.

Don't you like my car.

Pastor Ezekiel 07-15-2010 01:31 AM

Re: Cars Americans Should Own
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa H (Post 558990)
Don't you like my car.

That's not your car. That's your father's car, or your boyfriend's.

Bob4God 07-15-2010 01:35 AM

Re: Cars Americans Should Own
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa H (Post 558990)
Don't you like my car.

Women should not be driving. The world knew this once, but has slowly forgotten it over time.

Even the now GODless Brits knew it once, but nowadays their messages to the women of the world have become a laughingstock on modern-day Atheist TV shows:


Lisa H 07-15-2010 01:42 AM

Re: Cars Americans Should Own
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 558992)
That's not your car. That's your father's car, or your boyfriend's.

No. It is my car. It is a 1975 Torana. It has a V8 engine and a 5 speed manual gear box. They originally came out with a 4 speed gear box but mine has been modified.

Pastor Ezekiel 07-15-2010 01:46 AM

Re: Cars Americans Should Own
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa H (Post 558998)
No. It is my car. It is a 1975 Torana. It has a V8 engine and a 5 speed manual gear box. They originally came out with a 4 speed gear box but mine has been modified.

Why would a Christian girl need such a machine? Only a rabid bulldyke would drive a car like that.

Lisa H 07-15-2010 01:55 AM

Re: Cars Americans Should Own
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 559000)
Why would a Christian girl need such a machine? Only a rabid bulldyke would drive a car like that.

Why would I want to drive one of those sissy homer 4 cylinder things.

Pastor Ezekiel 07-15-2010 03:07 AM

Re: Cars Americans Should Own
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa H (Post 559007)
Why would I want to drive one of those sissy homer 4 cylinder things.

Why would any Christian girl even want to drive? :huh:

Brother Harold Porter 07-15-2010 03:07 AM

Re: Cars Americans Should Own
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa H (Post 559007)
Why would I want to drive one of those sissy homer 4 cylinder things.

I know you ride the short bus, Sister, but women are not to drive anything more powerful than a bicycle.

Are you suggesting that a woman should be in control of a vehicle upwards of a ton, or even two, at lethal speeds?

LOL!!

I thought I had heard it all.

But Bless you in Christ anyway!

BelieverInGod 07-15-2010 03:10 AM

Re: Cars Americans Should Own
 
I drive an F350. There's a problem with that? Have you ever tried to put a pack of Rottweilers into a Smart Car? It doesn't exactly work.

Nobar King 07-15-2010 03:10 AM

Re: Cars Americans Should Own
 
You guys park on the lawn, down there?

Lisa H 07-15-2010 03:42 AM

Re: Cars Americans Should Own
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Rubicon (Post 559051)
I know you ride the short bus, Sister, but women are not to drive anything more powerful than a bicycle.

Are you suggesting that a woman should be in control of a vehicle upwards of a ton, or even two, at lethal speeds?

LOL!!

I thought I had heard it all.

But Bless you in Christ anyway!

Brother Rubicon

Have you ever seen the look on a athiest hoon's face when been left for dead at the traffic lights by a Christian girl. That is something to laugh at.

Bob4God 07-15-2010 03:32 PM

Re: Cars Americans Should Own
 
Women driving is like women performing brain surgery or women handling guns.

It's just a bad idea.

There are manly activities and there are womanly activities. I certainly would not know how to knit a doily or remove tough stains from a pair of pants. And you know what, I don't WANT to know!

So what good excuse do women have for engaging in manly activities like driving a car or having a job?


Sister Charli 07-16-2010 02:12 PM

Re: Cars Americans Should Own
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Rubicon (Post 559051)
I know you ride the short bus, Sister, but women are not to drive anything more powerful than a bicycle.

I gotta agree with Mr Rubicon Lisa.

True Christian women do not drive cars.

As Mr Rubicon says .... you should get yourself a bike.

Here's the one Daddy bought me for my 40th birthday.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y24...ortyCustom.jpg


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