Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

greetings everyone! I've been a christian since birth (not that it saves me, I know!) I was baptized in Bath Ohio as a baby, and I guess thats where I came to find jesus. I am currently a member of a small methodist church in the country. My favorite bible verse is where jesus throws the money changers out of the temple in Mark 12:40 and Luke 20:47. I like it because jesus tells it like it is. He tells them that they're thieves and that they're going to hell, and thats usually the only thing that can help a sinner.

I'm here because I love jesus, and I'd like to discuss gods divine word with like-minded christians and learn all that I can about the bible. I may be getting ahead of myself but I hope to some day not be unsaved trash, and I think that this is just the site to help me!

Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

To expand on my favorite bible verse, this might be a little forward, but I just wish with all my heart that god would give me a time machine so I could lend jesus my AK47.

Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

Hello friend, Welcome to the Landover Baptist Church

Tell me Son, are you married? has your wife been bountiful? You should know that being a methodist can be tricky, some 'branches' often believe that they recognize JESUS as our lord and savior while others are lead by dirty papist's who are only concerned about their next human sacrifice

Perhaps try looking for a near by baptist church, Or are you happy with being condemned to hell?

God Bless

Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

Mr. Ant, how did you come to be in possession of an AK47?

Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

Thanks for the advice. From my experience those methodists are nothing but trouble! I only came to associate with that dodgy nest of unsaved serpents because my mother is a member, and I'm only trying to convert her back to christ. I felt I needed to see with my own eyes what goes on in that den of vipers in order to talk sense into her.

Also sorry if my username causes any confusion. I'm actually a 22 year old female. Mr. Ant is just my nickname. But dont worry I'm obedient faithful to my husband. I obey him second only to jesus himself.

Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

Is there any particular reason you capitalize "I" and "Mr. Ant" but not Jesus?

:huh:

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

I love Jesus too! :D

I even love Him so much that I use my shift key to worship Him.

Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

:fear2: My apologies!
Thanks for catching this very serious error. I was typing a bit fast and forgot to proofread! My intention was never to elevate myself above my savior! I'm sincerely penitent and, well quite frankly disgusted with my presumptuous and disobedient actions! I beg the forgiveness of JESUS, the ONLY path to salvation! will do everything I can to repent of this terrible sin! Thank you for making me aware of this very serious problem! It wont happen again!

yours in Christ, Mr. Ant

Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

There are some gender confusion issues in this thread that I don't feel comfortable discussing.

Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

It's making me a little antsy as well. :unsure:

Proverbs 6:6
Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise:

Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

sorry its an ongoing inside joke in my family. It has to do with our last name.

Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

Interesting. Why do your parents hate :jesus-fancy:?

It doesn't say much for your husband that he allows his wife to go parading about as a letsbemen. <_<

Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

I think you mean "ant"

Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

:huh: I have no idea what you're talking about. You call yourself "Mr.", yet you claim to be a married woman. The only women I know of who call themselves "Mr." are radical feminazi letsbemens like "Mr." Helen Degenerate and "Mr." Rosie O'Donkey.

Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

Aint nobody gittin baptized in no bath in Ohio, Nebada or Tampa.
It just ain't gonna happen. You ain't finding no Jeezes there niether. Believe me, he don't want to be looking at yo fat ass while you soaking in da tub

Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

Mr. Ant, are you the guy who made those green and clear demonic ant farms that poison young minds with satanic little insects? Nobody is fooling us, we know what those ants do when the lights are off in the middle of the night. Ants, especially the black ones, spend their nights trying to summon the devil himself, that is when they are not sodomizing each other. During the day, they desperately try to reach hell with their filthy digging. The little windmill is subliminally trying to force us to go 'green' with demoncratic ideals. If I visit someone's home to witness for Jesus and see an ant farm I instantly fly into a rage and destroy it immediately with fire, lots of cleansing fire! Praise Jesus!

Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

Me too, it makes my skin crawl.

Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

HI I love UNsaved Trash especially when it is very filthy do you like Mormons? its the only lifestyle choice needed.

Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!!
 

That is right Missus Johnson. Going on five years we have been members of Landover. I'd pat you on the back but I'd rather not touch you. I am sure you understand.:thumbsup: