ATTENTION HEATHENS: A well wiped butt will not get you into Heaven
It seems to have become general knowledge among the unsaved wretches of the world that they have been targeted by God, that the Corona Plague is on the way and that they will shortly be having that final interview with Jesus. They are all going to die and they seem to sense it even if it hasn't entirely sunk in yet.
All over the world, in every country, among every race, the toilet paper is all bought up by sinners who are frantically trying to wipe away the sinful residue of their godless existence. After a lifetime in darkness they want to adopt a facade of cleanliness and uprightness. It won't work. And worse, there is no toilet paper for the righteous. The Great Toilet Paper hoax is only false hope. There is One Way: Jesus. Only through the love and compassion of Jesus Christ may these sinners be saved. There is still time, but it is a narrow window to get on that narrow path. Those currently unsaved and marked by the Lord for retribution will still all die, but they will be spared the searing fires and punishments of Hell if they have come to Jesus. Let the unwashed and unsaved abandon their toilet paper fixation before it is too late and find eternal salvation with Jesus. |
Re: ATTENTION HEATHENS: A well wiped butt will not get you into Heaven
I suggest that instead of trying to fight this, we work with it.
Remember "Convert to Jesus and get a free* Playstation" ? Same thing. With T.P. In case demand outstrips our supply, we should be careful never to say if the promised toilet paper will be fresh or not. |
Re: ATTENTION HEATHENS: A well wiped butt will not get you into Heaven
In Genesis 22:14 God tells us the Lord will provide. That should be read to all the hoarders.
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That is an idea worth trying. Sincere converts could get a roll for every member of their family. Soon, there will be toilet paper again because once President Trump gets wind of it, he will demand action. We could send the rolls as soon as we can get some and, in the meantime, the new tithes will more than pay for the rolls when we get them. It's a win-win-win. You don't see that very often. |
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Re: ATTENTION HEATHENS: A well wiped butt will not get you into Heaven
In spite of suffering the Corona, I did not buy into this toilet paper nonsense, in fact I don't buy the stuff. For keeping my bum clean, I just use a washcloth and rinse it off after with soap and water. Simple. Never have bought TP again, never will.
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Re: ATTENTION HEATHENS: A well wiped butt will not get you into Heaven
I am proud that I have never used toilet paper in my entire life. The Bible never mentions it so clearly Jesus didn't use it and neither will I.
The, unrelated, severe pain in my behind when I use the toilet is no doubt a sign from God that suffering is the path to Heaven. Psalm 119:50 This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me. |
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Isaiah 1:16 "Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil" |
Re: ATTENTION HEATHENS: A well wiped butt will not get you into Heaven
Where's my TP award? :o I'm the OG poster for resistance in this matter!
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