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-   -   How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for? (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=52601)

Capt. Aaron Portway 03-27-2012 07:32 PM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Good Christian Woman (Post 863272)
My daughter Naomi just turned 14, and my husband believes it's high time to find her a good, Christian husband.

He'd like at least $700 for her, since she is a True Christian virgin, but he's willing to be flexible with price because, well, let's just say there's a reason I'm choosing not to post her picture.

She's an excellent cook, and she'll have a nice warm cherry pie waiting for you every night after you get home from work. We've taught her submission, so you won't have to worry about obedience. Her cleaning skills are lacking, though, so don't put away that rod just yet.

Praise Jesus, count me in! :thumbsup:

I'l tell you what, I'll make it an even thousand sight unseen! If you have an open couple of hours this weekend, we can get a Pastor to make it official!

I really do miss the touch of a True Christian™ wife, it's been far too long.;)




Quote:

Originally Posted by Vocaloid (Post 864100)
you have no right to sell her to begin with! she just turned 14! its her decision to marry or not! this is slavery! how does this make you any different from Joseph Kony?:angry:

How dare you call me a spearchucker!

Professor Bessemer 03-27-2012 07:36 PM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Capt. A. Portway (Post 864106)
Praise Jesus, count me in! :thumbsup:

I'l tell you what, I'll make it an even thousand sight unseen! If you have an open couple of hours this weekend, we can get a Pastor to make it official!

I really do miss the touch of a True Christian™ wife, it's been far too long!;)

Glory! Another Landover wedding! I'd like to volunteer my home for the reception/honeymoon. I know Brother Portway would like to begin working on starting a family right away.

David Willts 03-27-2012 07:37 PM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Vocaloid (Post 864100)
how does this make you any different from Joseph Kony?:angry:

Please there is a huge difference, one is a good Christian that should be commended and the other is a guy trying to sell his daughter.

Capt. Aaron Portway 03-27-2012 07:55 PM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by David Willts (Post 864112)
Please there is a huge difference, one is a good Christian that should be commended and the other is a guy trying to sell his daughter.

Cute. Real cute. Respect your betters friend. Also, Good Christian Woman is a shining example of True Christian™ femininity who is about to become my mother-in-law! She hardly counts as a "guy"!:thumbdown:

Mary Etheldreda 03-27-2012 08:34 PM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
Oh PRAISE JESUS!

Do you need someone to bake a cake? I don't mean to brag, but the Holy Spirit guides my hand to make cakes that serve as a reminder that a marriage is a covenant between three parties - the groom, the bride, and the LORD.

http://www.wedding-flowers-and-recep...e-ideas-05.jpg

Good Christian Woman 03-28-2012 07:03 PM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Vocaltoad (Post 864100)
how does this make you any different from Joseph Kony?:angry:

Oh stop, you'll make me blush! :) I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't think I'm quite good enough to be compared to a brave man like Kony. :wub:

Good Christian Woman 03-28-2012 07:05 PM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Capt. A. Portway (Post 864106)
Praise Jesus, count me in! :thumbsup:

I'l tell you what, I'll make it an even thousand sight unseen! If you have an open couple of hours this weekend, we can get a Pastor to make it official!

I really do miss the touch of a True Christian™ wife, it's been far too long.;)

How wonderful! My husband accepts!

You'll all, of course, be invited to the wedding! :D

Good Christian Woman 03-28-2012 07:06 PM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Professor Bessemer (Post 864110)
Glory! Another Landover wedding! I'd like to volunteer my home for the reception/honeymoon. I know Brother Portway would like to begin working on starting a family right away.

How kind of you to volunteer! :D All our thanks.

Good Christian Woman 03-28-2012 07:07 PM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda (Post 864161)
Oh PRAISE JESUS!

Do you need someone to bake a cake? I don't mean to brag, but the Holy Spirit guides my hand to make cakes that serve as a reminder that a marriage is a covenant between three parties - the groom, the bride, and the LORD.

http://www.wedding-flowers-and-recep...e-ideas-05.jpg

Thank you for offering! :D I'd bake the cake myself, but I'll be far to busy sewing my daughter's dress. I could definitely use your help.

Capt. Aaron Portway 03-29-2012 01:24 AM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
:ohyeah:Well, I'm about to burst with excitement! I just got back from being formally introduced to my future wife!:ohyeah:

I say formally introduced because I do remember her from when the 8th grade class from Leviticus Middle School had their field trip/tour of Landover Field last November. Her soon-to-be childbearing hips caught my attention even then.:wub:

She is just a dream! She'll make a wonderful wife and mother to my future children. :group:

I can't wait for our wedding (and wedding night :clap:)! I talked to the Professor and we will be using his home for a brief reception and the honeymoon! :thumbsup:

tyler the earthworm 03-29-2012 01:50 AM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
:blech:
Quote:

Originally Posted by Capt. A. Portway (Post 864767)
:ohyeah:Well, I'm about to burst with excitement! I just got back from being formally introduced to my future wife!:ohyeah:

I say formally introduced because I do remember her from when the 8th grade class from Leviticus Middle School had their field trip/tour of Landover Field last November. Her soon-to-be childbearing hips caught my attention even then.:wub:

She is just a dream! She'll make a wonderful wife and mother to my future children. :group:

I can't wait for our wedding (and wedding night :clap:)! I talked to the Professor and we will be using his home for a brief reception and the honeymoon! :thumbsup:


what the piffle dud you are a dame pervertthat is all just wrong, first off you have no right to sell someone like a slave, second off your what 40 and she is 14 just so sick i could vomit you are all just piffleed up you say wiccans and all othere religions are but you people are the worst

Mary Etheldreda 03-29-2012 02:26 AM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by tyler the earthworshiper (Post 864784)
:blech:


what the piffle dud you are a dame pervertthat is all just wrong, first off you have no right to sell someone like a slave, second off your what 40 and she is 14 just so sick i could vomit you are all just piffleed up you say wiccans and all othere religions are but you people are the worst

What are you talking about? He's offering a dowry. That's not only kind, but traditional as well. Besides, what difference does age make? For all we know, Mary was about 13 or 14 when the Holy Spirit impregnated her. It was normal back then because people lived to serve God. Today people live to serve their own lusts. I would be honored for my daughters to have such True Christian™ husbands as Brother Captain Portway.

Professor Bessemer 03-29-2012 02:42 AM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by tyler the earthworshiper (Post 864784)
:blech:


what the piffle dud you are a dame pervertthat is all just wrong, first off you have no right to sell someone like a slave, second off your what 40 and she is 14 just so sick i could vomit you are all just piffleed up you say wiccans and all othere religions are but you people are the worst

Friend, your lack of respect is only dwarfed by your total ignorance. Brother Portway has the blessing of the parents of the young lady. He is not violating any laws. But just to reassure you, I will let you know that in all True Christian™ marriages where the bride is under the age of sixteen, the marriage license is filed in New Hampshire. Iowa unfortunately has a rather high legal marriage age of sixteen for both men and young ladies.

New Hampshire has marriage laws that are more in line with the Word of God, in that the lower limit for the age of young ladies is thirteen as long as there is consent of the parents of the minor female.

Vocaltard 03-29-2012 03:58 PM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by tyler the earthworm (Post 864784)
:blech:


what the piffle dude you are a dame pervert that is all just wrong, first off you have no right to sell someone like a slave, second off your what 40 and she is 14 just so sick i could vomit you are all just piffleed up you say wiccans and all othere religions are but you people are the worst

its like i am surrounded by Joseph Konys. if the police find out about this you will all be arrested. and put in the insane asylum.

I totally agree dude! if i had the money i would adopt her and make her go to school. at least i would save her from a living hell!! shouldnt she be in school?! THIS IS AMERICA NOT PAKISTAN!!! WHAT THE PIFFLE IS WRONG WITH YOU RETARDS!! DID U RIDE THE SHORT BUS WHEN U WERE KIDS??? its against the law for you to have a child married to a OLD PEDOPHILE! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOUR DEFECTED BRAINS?!!

Thinks Design 03-29-2012 04:03 PM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
This is getting weird.

Do you really believe it is okay to sell a person?

ThinksDesign xx

Vocaltard 03-29-2012 04:21 PM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
of course its not okay to sell a person. she is a woman who deserves to choose her husband of her own free will. god i just wish i could save her from the hell her parents have arranged for her. this is just horrible.

Thinks Design 03-29-2012 04:44 PM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
Yeah I've never seen anyone as devoted to the bible as these guys.

Their twisting Gods love.

ThinksDesign

Professor Bessemer 03-29-2012 04:57 PM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
Trying to educate the unsaved is so very difficult. As I stated above, Brother Portway is not breaking any laws at all. On the contrary, he is following both secular and Biblical law to the letter.

Quote:

And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife.

If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.

Exodus 22:16-17
In this case, both of the parents approve of the coming nuptials, even though according to the Bible, her father is the only one with standing in the matter.

Why is it so difficult for non Christians to see that this is a happy occasion? I assume that like most atheists, you lead lives filled with so much anger and pain that seeing even the tiniest amount of joy in the lives of others drives you into a mindless, jealous rage. I pity you and will pray that the Lord fills you with His love. Amen.

Yaro Shien 03-29-2012 05:12 PM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
This is sicking and I just gonna say that I'm sending this link to the police. Why because I don't believe it's voluntary. On top of that it's against american law to sell american people. You can twist and say it's what god wants but I can a piffleing sure you god will not approve you of this. You piffle head parents are no longer human, and there for you will go hell for payment. And if you piffleing dare complete this transaction, I will personalty hunt you down.:thumbdown:

Roberta 03-29-2012 05:24 PM

Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?
 
Sure thing Brillowax; Interpol has bigger fish to fry. You think it's against American law but not against Pakistani law? That's a bit of a standard double.


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