The Landover Baptist Church Forum - PRAY FOR IVORY COAST / Côte d'Ivoire

This thread is a place to pray for God to spare Ivory Coast the massive earthquake and nuclear meltdown it deserves.

5 Reasons why GOD HATES IVORY COAST / Côte d'Ivoire:

1. Côte d'Ivoire exports chocolate, a psychoactive drug that causes sugar-high kids to defy their parents (a stoning offense: Deuteronomy 21:18-21), and wives to become fat and unpleasing to their husbands (I Peter 3:1-7, Ephesians 5:22-24, Col. 3:18-19).

2. Côte d'Ivoire's men are so weak and effeminate that they were conquered by France. They surrendered to surrender monkeys! They are not only overrun with homosexuals, but "bottom" homosexuals.

3. They don't even sell Ivory any more. Not the elephant tusks, nor the soap. I guess they chose to grow chocolate out of their proven cowardice: chocolate plants can't trample you.

4. God is punishing Côte d'Ivoire with AIDS and enough plagues to lower life expectancy to 41 for males. God is love and doesn't punish people like this unless they really, really deserve it. (God sends plagues: I Chronicles 21:12, II Chronicles 14:12).

5. Côte d'Ivoire just overthrew Laurent Gbagbo, a Christian and friend of American Republicans. From Salon (liberal-bias warning):

That includes a U.S. senator and acquaintance of Gbagbo who declined to intervene in the crisis when asked by the State Department earlier this year, a former congressman who was hired by Gbagbo as a lobbyist, and a Christian right TV network that ran a fawning profile of Gbagbo, even as violence engulfed Ivory Coast. The senator, Jim Inhofe of Oklahoma, today released a letter to Hillary Clinton calling for new elections in Ivory Coast, putting him in direct opposition to the view of the Obama administration, the United Nations and the African Union that Gbagbo lost a fair election.

Gbagbo, along with his influential wife, Simone, are evangelical Christians who are known for lacing their speeches with religious rhetoric. "God is leading our fight. God has already given us the victory," Simone Gbagbo, who is both first lady and politician in her own right, said at a rally in January. Both Gbagbos have attended the National Prayer Breakfast, a big annual Washington event run by the secretive Christian group known as the Family, or the Fellowship.

The Fellowship, founded in 1935, cultivates relationships with people in positions of power in both the United States and abroad (it has long been active in Africa) to promote conservative evangelical values. It has drawn controversy for, among other things, running the C Street House, where several members of Congress live, and its ties to proposed legislation in Uganda that would provide for the death penalty for the "crime" of homosexuality...

Another Christian right politician, former congressman Bob McEwen of Ohio -- who has also been a longtime participant in the National Prayer Breakfast -- recently worked as a lobbyist for Gbagbo. In December, McEwen was hired at a rate of $25,000 per month to assist the Ivorian ambassador to the U.S. "in exerting his influence in the most strategic way possible," according to lobbying records...

Gbagbo has also found support in right-wing Christian media. Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network has run multiple pieces supporting Gbagbo. A CBN reporter even traveled to Ivory Coast to look into claims of voter fraud and to conduct a friendly interview with Gbagbo, who is portrayed as a pious man deserving of admiration.

"Everybody says this man is an evil thug who needs to go," said Robertson introducing one segment in January. "That's not true. He's a Christian, he’s a nice person, and he's run a fairly clean operation in the Ivory Coast." Robertson later pointedly noted that the U.N. is "controlled so much by Muslim countries."

You can see how clean and Christian his operation is: here his troops execute uppity women who think they can involve themselves in politics instead of keeping silent as the Bible demands (I Corinthians 14:34-35, I Corinthians 11:3-12, I Timothy 2:8-15):