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-   -   Christ's Blood by Mail? (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=116299)

BrotherLarry 05-13-2019 05:15 PM

Christ's Blood by Mail?
 
Today I received an offer from Reverend Jackson, a pastor based out of the land of Burkina Faso. In his offer, he states the following:


"Now, precious one, you can be assured of protection from demons, evil spirits, principalities, illness, and the arts of the devil such as witchcraft, sorcery, divination, channeling, and new age wizardry! Just send for my AUTHENTIC vial of Christ's blood, gathered from the foot of Calvary on the day our LORD suffered, bled, and died!


This is NOT something made to look like blood! This is the actual, doctor certified, DNA tested BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH!"


He goes on to say that Miss HH of Australia ordered the Blood of Jesus vial and poured it in her purse. That SAME DAY, an unknown stranger stole her purse and brought it back with a note apologizing for the theft. When she opened it, expecting all of her money to be gone, instead she found $10,000,000.00 in hundred dollar bills. There is a picture of Miss HH and she looks honest.


You can order 1, 3, or 25 vials of the Blood of Jesus if you send a love offering in US Dollars to his special PO Box in Duluth, Minnesota, which he visits often. The suggested love offering is $500 for 1 vial, $1000 for 3, or $10,000 for 25. The latter seems the best value.


He begs me in the letter not to think he's a fake or a fraud and shows a picture of a certificate from the Burkina Faso authorities stating he is 100% legitimate and gives a testimony of one of the cops that received a new Cadillac after pouring the Blood of Jesus vial over his driveway. Apparently after he poured it, a stranger took a wrong turn (in his mind) and pulled his NEW Cadillac into the cop's driveway. He told the cop that Jesus told him to leave the car and go get a different one. Miraculous!


Oh, how I love Jesus! He sends me, His humble servant, a chance like this when I deserve hell fire instead. Lord, You are Wonderful.

Dana723 05-13-2019 09:26 PM

Re: Christ's Blood by Mail?
 
I'm confused - wouldn't our Lord and Saviour have taken His blood back with Him when he ascended into Heaven?

Isabella White 05-13-2019 10:26 PM

Re: Christ's Blood by Mail?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dana723 (Post 1251625)
I'm confused - wouldn't our Lord and Saviour have taken His blood back with Him when he ascended into Heaven?

That's a very good point, dear Sister Dana, and I thank you for raising this. But, I'm wondering if someone scooped up the spilled Blood when our Lord was hanging on His cross, with His blood oozing from His forehead due to the crown of thorns. It's very possible that that's what happened, with it having been preserved so carefully through the years. And isn't it lovely that these miraculous events as described by our darling Brother Larry have happened? We do serve a very mighty and generous Lord. Praise God! And to think, that those foolish Cathyolick people think that THEY have the real blood inside them when they take Communion! And they haven't figured out why they aren't all getting millions of dollars in their bank accounts! A blessed day to you, dear Sister. Sincerely, Isabella W.

BrotherLarry 05-14-2019 03:02 AM

Re: Christ's Blood by Mail?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dana723 (Post 1251625)
I'm confused - wouldn't our Lord and Saviour have taken His blood back with Him when he ascended into Heaven?


Not if He intended it to go to Burkina Faso.


Of course, I have been accused of being gullible in the past, so I hope this isn't another one of those times. I have been waiting to hear from some of the more established, older members about this before I purchase some.


Surely if Sister Granny Isabella thinks it's legit, it's legit. But I'm still waiting. No offense, Isabella darling.

Joanna Lytton-Vasey 05-14-2019 10:23 AM

Re: Christ's Blood by Mail?
 
Brother Larry, I have no opinion on this matter but one of my younger children (Zeke, 4) had something to say about the pricing.
Quote:

Originally Posted by BrotherLarry (Post 1251621)
You can order 1, 3, or 25 vials of the Blood of Jesus if you send a love offering in US Dollars to his special PO Box in Duluth, Minnesota, which he visits often. The suggested love offering is $500 for 1 vial, $1000 for 3, or $10,000 for 25. The latter seems the best value.

Zeke said to tell you that if you want 25 vials you should order 9 packs of 3 vials @ $1,000 per pack. Then you will get 27 vials for $9,000 and this is better value than 25 for $10,000. You could then sell the extra two @ $500 per vial, leaving yourself with 25 for $8,000, a saving of 20%! This is the way to prosper, like Jehoshaphat (2 Chronicles 17:12).

Isabella White 05-14-2019 02:00 PM

Re: Christ's Blood by Mail?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BrotherLarry (Post 1251663)
Of course, I have been accused of being gullible in the past, so I hope this isn't another one of those times. I have been waiting to hear from some of the more established, older members about this before I purchase some. Surely if Sister Granny Isabella thinks it's legit, it's legit. But I'm still waiting. No offense, Isabella darling.

Oh, dear, blessed, Great-Grandbaby Brother Larry, have no worries -- everything will work out as it should. Please do not be one of those "oh, ye of little faith" types. The good Lord works His wonders and miracles according to our faith in Him, and He will often test us to see how faithful we are to Him. Now, I know that since you've been doing many great works for the Lord down on your knees on Gay Street in your Village, you WILL receive a blessing that your storehouse will not be able to contain. And just as those others that you mentioned have received their promised blessings, so shall ye. Now, just sit tight (on your pretty pink davenport), and wait, ever-so-patiently, and your blessing WILL arrive, in the fullness of time. Lovingly, my dear young, handsome one -- Granny Isabella.

MitzaLizalor 05-15-2019 02:24 PM

Re: Christ's Blood by Mail?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey (Post 1251670)
Brother Larry, I have no opinion on this matter but one of my younger children (Zeke, 4) had something to say about the pricing.


Zeke said to tell you that if you want 25 vials you should order 9 packs of 3 vials @ $1,000 per pack. Then you will get 27 vials for $9,000 and this is better value than 25 for $10,000. You could then sell the extra two @ $500 per vial, leaving yourself with 25 for $8,000, a saving of 20%! This is the way to prosper, like Jehoshaphat (2 Chronicles 17:12).

It is an interesting price structure. I'm always encouraged by Jehoshaphat whose castles provide a testimony to God's providence. However I'm a little concerned whether this product would be like a "relic" if that's the word, a finger of someone or nails from the cross. These do not have a good reputation and constitute idolatry. Wouldn't saying you have Christ's blood be like saying He was still dead?
Luke 20:37-38 That the dead are raised, even Moses shewed at the bush, when he calleth the Lord the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. 38For he is not a God of the dead, but of the living: for all live unto him.

WilliamJenningsBryan 05-16-2019 05:53 AM

Re: Christ's Blood by Mail?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor (Post 1251711)
It is an interesting price structure. I'm always encouraged by Jehoshaphat whose castles provide a testimony to God's providence. However I'm a little concerned whether this product would be like a "relic" if that's the word, a finger of someone or nails from the cross. These do not have a good reputation and constitute idolatry. Wouldn't saying you have Christ's blood be like saying He was still dead?
Luke 20:37-38 That the dead are raised, even Moses shewed at the bush, when he calleth the Lord the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. 38For he is not a God of the dead, but of the living: for all live unto him.

The same thought occurred to me as well. Con artists, pickpockets and thieves were probably just as prevalent in Roman times as they are today. As I see it, Jesus had about 5 quarts of blood and it could have been some crafty jew or a Roman centurion to drain it away - somehow sensing that this stuff might be valuable some day, sort of like classic cars and Jay Leno's garage. Of course it would have to have been passed down in the family (or sold) as it was some years before Jesus went "viral" (as we are fond of saying today).

Then the real question is, Jesus was going to need that blood for his resurrection 3 days later - so did He "regenerate" it?

Then there is the obvious - how much of Jesus' blood is left after all this time, not to mention is it being diluted?

The cathylicks are the ususal suspects behind this kind of stuff, and perhaps it's some of that "blood" that is often seen coming from statues and crosses (with "Jesus" still hanging on them). On the other hand, cathylicks tend to stick to things that are "renewable" - like selling "holy water" or "relics" (they can just canonize more saints when they run out of bones or "bless" more holy water and bottle it).

MitzaLizalor 05-16-2019 09:26 AM

Re: Christ's Blood by Mail?
 
I know. When the catholics get going anything is possible! Reading about Henry VIII recently I was astonished at the gobbledygook flying around, relating specifically to his brother. Marrying quite young and dying quite promptly left an opportunity for King Henry to scoop in the wife. No-one had had her so she could hardly have produced a son for anyone which, according to God, means that Henry should produce one for his brother instead. Exchange of bodily fluids would be involved.

Jesus was asked about a similar situation. A husband died and bequeathed the wife to his brother who also died. As did five (5) subsequent brothers. Then the wife died. God has already explained that when Moses acknowledged Him as the God of Abraham et al., he knew that they were not deceased utterly. Similarly for these seven brothers.

Matthew 22:28-30 Therefore in the resurrection whose wife shall she be of the seven? for they all had her. Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.

No EOBF's for resurrection bodies. Could that be due to no bodily fluids at all? Do angels even have them? During the period when Christ's blood might be collected, that is to say when Jesus was dead, where was He? What was He doing?

I Peter 3:18-19 Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit: by which also he went and preached unto the spirits in prison.

Death is the mother lode of slowing down. How did it affect Jesus? He was quickened! Not by the flesh running on some new accelerator which however it affects bodily fluids can hardly make them immortal. By the Spirit! Jesus was more alive (without the conduit of fluids) and preached unto the spirits in prison. Therefore any blood collected at the time was not Jesus. It had done its work and was depleted. Then He rose again.

John 20:24-28 But Thomas, one of the twelve, called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came. The other disciples therefore said unto him, We have seen the Lord. But he said unto them, Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and thrust my hand into his side, I will not believe. And after eight days again his disciples were within, and Thomas with them: then came Jesus, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, Peace be unto you. Then saith he to Thomas, Reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands; and reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into my side: and be not faithless, but believing. And Thomas answered and said unto him, My Lord and my God.

Surely so gaping a hole—remember it gouged His heart—in any body with fluids would be noticed? This is the real Jesus, more alive than before. No bodily fluids and He can never die again. But where did the blood go? Why was it required in the first place?


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