Christ's Blood by Mail?
Today I received an offer from Reverend Jackson, a pastor based out of the land of Burkina Faso. In his offer, he states the following:
"Now, precious one, you can be assured of protection from demons, evil spirits, principalities, illness, and the arts of the devil such as witchcraft, sorcery, divination, channeling, and new age wizardry! Just send for my AUTHENTIC vial of Christ's blood, gathered from the foot of Calvary on the day our LORD suffered, bled, and died! This is NOT something made to look like blood! This is the actual, doctor certified, DNA tested BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH!" He goes on to say that Miss HH of Australia ordered the Blood of Jesus vial and poured it in her purse. That SAME DAY, an unknown stranger stole her purse and brought it back with a note apologizing for the theft. When she opened it, expecting all of her money to be gone, instead she found $10,000,000.00 in hundred dollar bills. There is a picture of Miss HH and she looks honest. You can order 1, 3, or 25 vials of the Blood of Jesus if you send a love offering in US Dollars to his special PO Box in Duluth, Minnesota, which he visits often. The suggested love offering is $500 for 1 vial, $1000 for 3, or $10,000 for 25. The latter seems the best value. He begs me in the letter not to think he's a fake or a fraud and shows a picture of a certificate from the Burkina Faso authorities stating he is 100% legitimate and gives a testimony of one of the cops that received a new Cadillac after pouring the Blood of Jesus vial over his driveway. Apparently after he poured it, a stranger took a wrong turn (in his mind) and pulled his NEW Cadillac into the cop's driveway. He told the cop that Jesus told him to leave the car and go get a different one. Miraculous! Oh, how I love Jesus! He sends me, His humble servant, a chance like this when I deserve hell fire instead. Lord, You are Wonderful. |
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I'm confused - wouldn't our Lord and Saviour have taken His blood back with Him when he ascended into Heaven?
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Not if He intended it to go to Burkina Faso. Of course, I have been accused of being gullible in the past, so I hope this isn't another one of those times. I have been waiting to hear from some of the more established, older members about this before I purchase some. Surely if Sister Granny Isabella thinks it's legit, it's legit. But I'm still waiting. No offense, Isabella darling. |
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Brother Larry, I have no opinion on this matter but one of my younger children (Zeke, 4) had something to say about the pricing.
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Luke 20:37-38 That the dead are raised, even Moses shewed at the bush, when he calleth the Lord the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. 38For he is not a God of the dead, but of the living: for all live unto him. |
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Then the real question is, Jesus was going to need that blood for his resurrection 3 days later - so did He "regenerate" it? Then there is the obvious - how much of Jesus' blood is left after all this time, not to mention is it being diluted? The cathylicks are the ususal suspects behind this kind of stuff, and perhaps it's some of that "blood" that is often seen coming from statues and crosses (with "Jesus" still hanging on them). On the other hand, cathylicks tend to stick to things that are "renewable" - like selling "holy water" or "relics" (they can just canonize more saints when they run out of bones or "bless" more holy water and bottle it). |
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I know. When the catholics get going anything is possible! Reading about Henry VIII recently I was astonished at the gobbledygook flying around, relating specifically to his brother. Marrying quite young and dying quite promptly left an opportunity for King Henry to scoop in the wife. No-one had had her so she could hardly have produced a son for anyone which, according to God, means that Henry should produce one for his brother instead. Exchange of bodily fluids would be involved.
Jesus was asked about a similar situation. A husband died and bequeathed the wife to his brother who also died. As did five (5) subsequent brothers. Then the wife died. God has already explained that when Moses acknowledged Him as the God of Abraham et al., he knew that they were not deceased utterly. Similarly for these seven brothers. Matthew 22:28-30 Therefore in the resurrection whose wife shall she be of the seven? for they all had her. Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. No EOBF's for resurrection bodies. Could that be due to no bodily fluids at all? Do angels even have them? During the period when Christ's blood might be collected, that is to say when Jesus was dead, where was He? What was He doing? I Peter 3:18-19 Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit: by which also he went and preached unto the spirits in prison. Death is the mother lode of slowing down. How did it affect Jesus? He was quickened! Not by the flesh running on some new accelerator which however it affects bodily fluids can hardly make them immortal. By the Spirit! Jesus was more alive (without the conduit of fluids) and preached unto the spirits in prison. Therefore any blood collected at the time was not Jesus. It had done its work and was depleted. Then He rose again. John 20:24-28 But Thomas, one of the twelve, called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came. The other disciples therefore said unto him, We have seen the Lord. But he said unto them, Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and thrust my hand into his side, I will not believe. And after eight days again his disciples were within, and Thomas with them: then came Jesus, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, Peace be unto you. Then saith he to Thomas, Reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands; and reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into my side: and be not faithless, but believing. And Thomas answered and said unto him, My Lord and my God. Surely so gaping a hole—remember it gouged His heart—in any body with fluids would be noticed? This is the real Jesus, more alive than before. No bodily fluids and He can never die again. But where did the blood go? Why was it required in the first place? |
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