Exciting news!!!
 

Friends, I am SO excited to share some GREAT news: I am engaged and soon to be married! (I dunno how soon, but I'm sure it will be SOON).

The lucky fellow's name is Enrique, we met on my recent missionary trip to ungodly South America, where I have been assisting our pastors in spreading the Word of God to godless savages, again. I know, I know - Enrique is not a white sounding name, and he IS rather tan... but his wealth shows that God really loves him despite his doubtful heritage:

Proverbs 10:22 The blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it.

Enrique certainly suffers no sorrows, as he has beautiful mansions all over the southern states of Mexico, including cities of Cochabamba and La Paz, as well as a very large ranch in Chapare (here is a link with photos which show how lovely this area is). He has been blessed by God in a very visible way, as he made his wealth seemingly overnight. Enrique comes from a very poor rural family, and most people in his village still are poor - must be because they are lazy bums:

Proverbs 10:4 He becometh poor that dealeth [with] a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich.

Enrique is best friends with all sorts of public, military, and police authorities. He gives them very nice gifts, and since they don't reciprocate, it must be some sort of charity - and God surely does love a cheerful giver!

2 Corinthians 9:7 Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, [so let him give]; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.

Anyway, I am not entirely sure what it is that he does, he's kinda shy about his businesses, when I enter the room where he's with his associates, they quickly change the subject. I don't mind - his business is not my business:

1 Thessalonians 4:11 And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;

Anyway, I'm pretty sure he's flour merchant, I sometimes see in a distance his men loading and unloading bags of unmarked product, and once one bag broke and what I saw was definitely flour. :thumbsup:

Re: Exciting news!!!
 

Congratulations on your engagement, I can feel how excited you are. :wub:

Re: Exciting news!!!
 

Congratulations. Once you are married, I pray Enrique and you have many Soldiers for Christ. I expect you will make a return to America for the births. Just in case one the male children plan a presidential career.


Phil

Re: Exciting news!!!
 

I wish I could share in your joy. But I simply can't.


1. Enrique is a messican name. This is a strike against him.
2. His home country has been known to spread the aids.
3. Jesus wouldn't want you being so far away from the Godly Midwest.
4. I always though you and I would, well, never mind about that because it's obvious that isn't so.


I am sure you will come to your senses. Please post a photo of this person. For now I am going to my closet.


PS: I don't think flour is a very reliable commodity. I don't know anyone who uses it on a regular basis.




money isn't everything

Re: Exciting news!!!
 

This is useful. Please have this Enrique guy set up a tight tithing schedule asap. Depending on the assets he can deliver on a regular basis I am ready to allocate a 15-minute sermon + perform the ceremony with my blessings. My houseboys will also check the merchandise as the Flint Mansion bakery might be interested in acquiring some of the flour for the cookies baked according to my late mother Zipporah Flint's recipe.

Re: Exciting news!!!
 

My Pa used to manufacture flour. I remember being 6 or 7 and I found a ziploc bag full of it. I remember the taste was a little strange and it made me sick. I asked my Pa after trying some of the flour what it was and he said it’s for baking. He also said I shouldn’t tell Ma or anyone at school but since it’s been 10 or so years since he said that, I think I can tell the church elders here. One question though. How is it that Enrique your messican boyfriend is rich from the flour he makes yet my Pa sometimes has to sell stuff in the house? I don’t know. Maybe my Pa just makes flour on the side.

Anyway congratulations! Also my Pa read your post and would love to get in touch with Enrique in order to discuss grown-up business.

Re: Exciting news!!!
 

Congratulations I suppose. Now please shut up about this as there is nothing more annoying than a woman yapping on and on about having found a man whose life she can ruin. Out of curiosity, is he blind? Deaf? Both?

Re: Exciting news!!!
 

Congratulations, Basilissa! I pray that your union will be as happy and productive as my own. May you be blessed according to Psalm 128.

You are absolutely right to take this view, Sister. A man's work is entirely his affair and (apart from entertaining my husband's guests on formal occasions and providing a Strong and Stable home life, including dealing with all financial and administrative matters during his frequent absences) I have absolutely no idea what Matthew does. All I know is that it involves some sort of international trade.

Do you think Enrique would mind if we called him Henry? It might help him fit in more easily. :thumbsup:

Re: Exciting news!!!
 

Hi Bas, Quique contacted me about a tunnel below the wall to pass some flour. I told him to contact Donald Trump about it and he seemed pissed off. I don't want to start bad with your soon to be hubby, so please tell him to call me again.

Re: Exciting news!!!
 

Re: Exciting news!!!
 

One of my hobbies is the origin of names. I was delighted to learn your beau is named Enrique. That name tells me his linage goes back to white Northern European stock. Enrique was originally Erik.

It is a time to celebrate at Landover Baptist Church.

Re: Exciting news!!!
 

I'm surprised that this event is being so applauded. Paul, I believe, speaks in the Word about marrying someone named Enrique and how it can be a thorn in one's flesh. I am certain I've seen it - I just can't find it. And our dear Bas knows NOTHING about foreign tongues. I'm just sure he doesn't speak American. Even if he does it's Messican-American, and many meanings are different. For instance, in our language, to marry someone means to plight your troth in Jesus Name and with His involvement. In Messican American it means to take on a sex slave and use them for your lustful pleasure without regard to procreation.

No, I just think this is a bad idea.


Lovingly and Deeply in Him,
BrotherLarry

Re: Exciting news!!!
 

Congratulations, Sister! I would be careful of that flour, though. My father got some flour from South America years ago and everything that my mother baked with it made him really sick and crazy. It must not have been the best quality. Expect a wedding present from me in the near future!

Re: Exciting news!!!
 

I dunno, Brother. I would not want any Future True Americans™ to be put in the difficult situation of deciding if they can vote for someone whose father is a foreigner.

I know this really nice, Christian lady, who once told me she really wanted to vote for Trump, but she didn't for a single reason. No, not because of the grabbing by the pussies thing, but because his wife is a foreigner. Yes, Melania is the good, white, non-threatening kind of foreigner, but this sweet nice lady just couldn't force herself to vote for someone who married a foreigner. I totally understand her moral doubt in all this, and even if my future children will grow up to be as Godly as Donald J. Trump (:wub:), it would be really difficult for good, white Christians to vote for them.

For whatever reason, Enrique is very shy when it comes to any sort of publicity (kinda surprising when you think about the social circles he's in), and doesn't like his pictures taken. Imagine this: not very tall, but beautifully tan (even more tan than that Italian dude who played Indians in movies and commercials), thick black hair, no beard/mustache, beautiful dark brown eyes, and the longest eyelashes I've ever seen! :heart:

I'm sure Enrique will send you his finest product! :thumbsup: (I think he has the whole Wall thing covered, he has friends in important positions in the US Customs and Border Protection, who help him to navigate between laws and stuff).

Duh, what else can you use flour for?!?

As I explained, his rags to riches story is the best proof that Jesus loves him very much! :heart:

I like that explanation very much, Mr. Mayor! There are some 1000 year old ruins in the part of Mexico he's from, and these are way too beautiful to have been made by some Indians - a Viking exploration would explain them perfectly!

:badmood: Brother Larry, may I remind you that I've been a member of Landover missions to ungodly South America practically since I've been a child, and I've mastered most local dialects except for Guarani (which doesn't matter because it's spoken in the jungle, and no respectable Christian would punish himself by going to that hot, humid, and full of bugs area - seriously, it's worse than Florida!).

Thank you, dear, that is very thoughtful of you. :innocent:

Re: Exciting news!!!
 

That's wonderful news, Sister! There's nothing wrong with a Messican as long as he's a rich Messican! :thumbsup:


Brother Larry, how could you be against such a beautiful union? If God wants it to be, He will allow it!

Re: Exciting news!!!
 

I know, right?! Unfortunately, some people seem to disobey God by feeling envy (their bones will rot, Proverbs 14:30) towards my happiness! I will pray for them. :pray:

Re: Exciting news!!!
 

I am really sorry but my Pa asked if the meeting between him and Enrique could happen as soon as possible. Apparently he’s super excited to want to meet someone who makes flour. Seems silly to me but it’s all he’s been asking about lately and won’t stop pestering me.

Re: Exciting news!!!
 

Sister,


By 2040 most American families will be at least 50% spic owing to Demoncrat Wall failures. Therefore there is a good chance that your child could fulfill presidential ambitions IF you birth him in Godly America. It would also be useful if you had sons in Bolivia, Columbia and Mexico. Naturally they would assume positions of power given Enrique's influence in the region. There could be wonderful trade to the benefit of all.


Hope you give this some thought.


Phil

Re: Exciting news!!!
 

I have done.

I reckon the Spics will be two of my cousins, Abel and Josiah, two of my brothers Ezra and Mark, and three sisters and their numerous offspring, whose names I've forgotten since they left the Bathfire family.

All of them already have brown eyes and dark hair - and Abel's got a pool-cleaning business - it's just a matter of how quickly the change comes over them.

I'm a little unclear as to how the much-needed wall is going to help, but it will at least stop "natural" Spics from getting in.

Re: Exciting news!!!
 

Cautious congratulations to you Sister. Don't spread your legs too quickly for this guy... something tells me he's up to no good. Just give him a whiff of pie but don't let him get his face into it until you're sure he's got a TON of money the right man for you.