The Landover Baptist Church Forum

The Landover Baptist Church Forum (
-   The Thrifty Christian (
-   -   For Floridians Only: Storm Insurance (

BrotherLarry 09-02-2019 09:14 PM

For Floridians Only: Storm Insurance
Praise God, finally there is insurance stronger than any hurricane or tropical storm or tornado or waterspout or tropical depression. (yes, depression is REAL!)

BrotherLarry Enterprises is proud to announce my new venture, Dorian Insurance!

With Dorian, you don't have to worry when the sea rages or floods flood. Storm surge? Laugh it off. THESE THINGS CANNOT HARM YOU! And here's the best part: This coverage will cost you no more than the current value of your home for LIFE. Yes! Coverage for LIFE. Wow, you say. How can I do that? It's so simple. When you sign up for my insurance, you sign the ownership of your property to me, pay me the value of your home, and move somewhere else. You will never have to worry about these things again.

Just read what Mr. LP of Panama City, FL wrote:

"I worried daily about the damaging storms that could level my home. I was skeptical, but I tried Dorian Insurance and followed the easy instructions that the owner gave me. He even called my bank to be sure everything was deposited properly since I'm elderly and I don't understand all this insurance jargon. But I shouldn't have worried. Now that I live in Boulder, CO, I don't worry about those storms any longer - and my home is in fine shape. Well, it used to be my home. Now it belongs to Dorian Insurance. And all my belongings are now the property of the insurance company. But that's just less stuff for me to worry about when I am called to my Heavenly home."

Doesn't that touch your heart? I praise God that I can offer this service. There are a few qualifications to enroll in this insurance:

1. The hurricane currently bearing down on Florida must pass through before you apply.

2. Damages from the storm must be fully repaired.

3. You must provide a $40 sign up fee before enrolling.

WOW! So simple! And so affordable. Loved one, I want your worries to be over. Won't you contact me in a few days when your home is either unscathed or repaired? I'll be praying and thinking of you all in this difficult time.

DORIAN: We are the insurance that cares.

BrotherLarry 09-03-2019 05:09 PM

Re: For Floridians Only: Storm Insurance
Due to an unfortunate series of phone calls from the Florida Insurance Commissioner's office, I am sad to report that DORIAN Insurance has been permanently shut down and will no longer be taking official applications for service. Think where that leaves the people who have already signed up! Poor LP (mentioned in the announcement above) no longer has a home, belongings, or - worse still - coverage against the horrific storm horrendously bearing down upon halcyon Florida. Were I able to return his money, I would; business, however, is business.

I understand the Florida Insurance Commissioner is a Muslim and cares little for the people of this great state. I would assume he is also a democrat. How sad that is. In the meantime, won't you send thoughts and prayers to LP? Pray that prosperity continues to come his way and the legal forces of the devil are driven from his every venture. In Christ's Holy Name!

PS: To the Bahamian retards that keep asking for information, what part of Floridians ONLY can't you understand?

Dr. Anthony J. Toole 09-08-2019 06:37 AM

Re: For Floridians Only: Storm Insurance
Larry I'm very worried about you. Perhaps you should stop posting for a while?

BrotherLarry 09-08-2019 07:43 PM

Re: For Floridians Only: Storm Insurance
Thank you for your concern Dr. Toole.

Perhaps you are right. I hope you will get on your knees for me and cry out to the Lord on my behalf. You have no idea how much I covet that.


All times are GMT. The time now is 10:05 AM.

Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums 1620, 2018 all rights reserved