Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

I'm Veronica Brentwood, yes those Brentwoods of New Braunfels Texas. My friends call me Ronnie and once we have established a friendly rapport, you may also. I am the wife of Arthur Brentwood, golfer extraordinaire and doctor in his spare time. I am also mother of two fine boys, Winston and Oliver Brentwood, both of whom are home schooled in a dorm we had built nearby. We schedule a few hours of time with them twice a month as all good Christian parents do. Every weekend would just interfere too much with our Godly community work.

The following is my Christian resume. Now, I'm not one to toot my own horn, Galatians 6:14. I belong to the United Daughters of the Confederacy, First Baptist New Braunfels, participating in Women of First and Women's Prayer Group every 4th Wednesday of the month. I also belong to a local book club for Baptist American women only, a Baptist quilting club, The Well Armed Women New Braunfels Chapter, New Braunfels Republican Women, New Braunfels Women's Chamber of Commerce, and John Newcombe Country club. I spend my days at luncheons, preparing fundraisers, shopping, and selling my husbands and my fashion discards on eBay. I feel it's my Christian responsibility to dress the poor in fashionable couture for half the retail price. It's easier on the eyes when the homeless sport a Brioni suit or a Chanel ensemble. Our sacrifice is their gain. Hebrews 13:16


We reside on a little 182 acre ranch and I like to keep a fine Christian home. I believe a clean home is a happy home. I tell that to our maids and cook every morning during our little pep talks, ending with 1 Corinthians 14:40


My husband found Jesus for me. I was a Yankee New Yorker when discovered me at the ripe age of 18. Three short months later I was baptized and we were married. I have never been happier.


I joined this forum to help save the wretched, make friends, trade recipes, fashion tips and mainly because my local church does not have a forum for me to express my Christian ideals and ideas. I believe it's our Christian duty to spread the word of God in any manner possible.


My favorite Bible verse is Titus 2:5


As a side note, my personal assistant Arlene has read me all applicable threads pertaining to a new forum member to get me up to speed. Arlene is not the brightest bulb God bless her, so if I'm misinformed about anything please let me know and I will correct the problem and punish her accordingly. Colossians 3:25 . I thank you all for your time and look forward to becoming a contributing member of this forum society.



V.B.


Dictated but not read.

Re: Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

Hello, there little lady.

It's good you live in Texas, the home of Ted Cruz. :wub:

Do you have your husband's permission to post here?

How many sons have you bore him?

What is the best pie you make?

Re: Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

Pastor Jones,

Yes Arthur my husband has encouraged me to join this site. He feels the world could benefit from my Godly views.


I have 2 sons Winston (12 years) and Oliver (10 years).


My cook Consuela, well I think that's her name. I just call all the women help Consuela it's easier. Anyway, she bakes a fantastic pecan pie passed down in Arthur's family from the Civil War era.


kindly regards,


V.B.


Dictated but not read.

Re: Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

Greetings Veronica! I once knew a lady that had that same name. She was a heathen, and pagan witch. You wouldn't by any chance be that same lady would you?

Re: Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

:welcome-flowers: to God's favorite forum, Mrs. Brentwood!

Thank you for your thorough and detailed introduction. It's so unusual to see a visitor who actually takes the time to read and follow the directions!

I am looking forward to reading more of your posts. Since you say in your introduction that you belong to a Baptist American women only book club, I assume that during each meeting you discuss a different Book of the Holy Bible, and after completing all 66 you go back to Genesis. That experience will certainly help you to make good contributions (for a woman) on this Godly forum!

Re: Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

Hello Nahkriin,

No not the same lady. I was saved by the age of 18 before anything ungodly touched me. Nice meeting you.


V.B.


Dictated but not read.

Re: Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

Yeah, obviously there's only one Veronica on the internet. :facepalm:

Not much with the social graces, are you? <_<

Mrs. Brentwood, please allow me to make whatever apologies I can for the loutish behaviour of the poster quoted above, and welcome to Landover. Though I do not share your faith (or anyone else's), I do look forward to discussing it and its implications with you.

Re: Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

Dear Mrs. Brentwood,

I must admit that my general attitude towards female intelligence is improving all the time. Obviously, our dear True Christian™ Sisters show often remarkable qualities in readin', writin', and even cipherin' and now a newcomer can dictate posts with relatively good sentence structure. in addition, Mrs. White recently decided to enter menopause, a most intelligent design in her attitude. Hence, Welcome!

I am most curious about your husband's family name, Brentwood. What are your opinions about the etymology of this word? Are you of the school that derives it from the Middle American participle 'brent' = burnt or do you surmise it could have - as some other Creation Scientists say - the meaning 'Holy One'? Obviously, this would lead to considering alternatives on how the Holy One would be giving wood to us? Any thoughts on this are appreciated...

:pigsfly:

I have to pray on this. Sometimes I forget that we True Christians™ already do know all the answers! :D

1 John 2:20
But ye have an unction from the Holy One, and ye know all things.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer :bye:

Re: Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

Mrs. Basilissa,

Yes, we not only read the Holy Bible but we also read books about pleasing our husbands in the Christian way, child rearing in the Christian way, books on fine dining and fashion do's and don'ts. The last one is very important. We cover the do's and don'ts of church attire, what to wear to fundraisers and most importantly what to wear in the bedroom. That comes in handy for the brand new Christian bride.


I hope to share some of the tips I have learned from my clubs in the future.


kind regards


V.B.


Dictated but not read.

Re: Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

Mr. Didymus Much,


That you for coming to my defense. This is one step closer for you to becoming saved. Glad I could be of help. You may not share my faith (right now) however, you are a gentleman and that is always appreciated.


This would be a good time to sit down with some Earl Grey tea and reflect. You may be closer to God than you think.


kind regards


V.B.


Dictated but not read.

Re: Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

Hello Veronica Brentwood.

You seem like a nice person I also like Earl Grey tea it smells nice because it has oil of bergamot my wife wore perfume from Jo Malone that had oil of bergamot in it but she is dead now I got in trouble.

Didymus Much is a very nice person even though he does not like Jesus I wish he did he is my friend and I wish he would go to Heaven with me.

Thank you.

Rusty

Re: Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

Professor Elmer G. White,


Once my husband married me, he promptly sent me to a Christian charm school in Dallas. I don't like to name drop but my etiquette teacher is the recipient of the Gold Mom's Choice Award and is called in some circles the queen of etiquette and civility. She worked wonders on me by exorcising the New Yorker in me and replacing it with a genteel southern lady. Why I now feel I'm more southern than southerners!


I feel the etymology of my husbands surname should be left to the men to discuss. It's not my place to ask him, though I do remember he mentioned that he and his friends discussed this very topic at our country club in the cigar room. I don't know exactly what they came up with and it's not my place to ask. If he wanted me to know, he would have told me then.


kind regards


V.B.


Dictated but not read.

Re: Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

Why Mr. Russell Holbeck aren't you just a charmer!


I'm sorry to read about your wife. It's a shame since Jo Malone is on sale at Nordstroms right now and would have made a perfect gift.


Mr. Much is a nice person but that doesn't mean he'll have passage into heaven. However, if he starts to reflect like I recommended to him, he may have an easier pass in hell.


kind regards


V.B.


dictated but not read.

Re: Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

Hi Ronnie,

How old is Arlene? Does she know the Lord? Can you post a picture of her?

Re: Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

Faith_Machine (a wonderful forum name)


Arlene is 35 I think. It's somewhere on the application she filled out but honestly I just wanted to know if she could read, write, spell and type. Who really bothers with details these days. She is reaching spinster age, so act now if you're interested. Our churches ministry assistant Mrs. Barrett, it's really just a glorified name for office help but I don't have the heart to tell her that, is the one that recommended Arlene. The apple didn't fall far from the tree. So she does know the Lord but not as personally as I do. She sits in the back pews of the church with that unconfirmed hispanic family but you didn't hear that from me.


I don't allow her to bring her cell phone to work. If someone really needs her that desperately they can drive over here. It's not like she has a social life and now that I joined this forum her hours are longer. I'm not one to gossip but honestly, the last time a man looked her way was when FedEx dropped off my husbands new golf clubs last year. But for you Faith_Machine I will allow her to bring in a cell phone a take what they call a selfie. I wouldn't hold my breath, she isn't what we southerners would call a homecoming queen material.


V.B.


dictated but not read.

Re: Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

Thank you Veronica. I am looking to sire a few children before too much time passes, however, so perhaps I should pass on this opportunity. 35 is quite old.

Re: Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

Oh, my! :wub::wub::wub: Pearl here!

Sister Veronica, I am beyond pleased to have read this Introduction needle!


It is so refreshing.:innocent::innocent::innocent:


I know someone of your standing would probably be embarrassed to be seen with an old fart like me, LOL, but I look forward to our friendship here. I was a little concerned by your initial post, which was a woman demanding respect, but I can see that maybe it was misconstrued.


I am going to a taping of Wheel of Fortune later this month, do you have any fashion advice for what to wear???:pirate::brimley::fear2::wacko:


Walking with Chrust,


Parl

Re: Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

A note of caution: this Godmocking degenerate can appear quite plausible to the unwary. Often his posts superficially make sense but he is always trying to drag you away from Jesus. I sometimes think he isn't interested in changing his ways at all.

Re: Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

Welcome, Mrs. Brentwood! Thank you for properly introducing yourself. It's rare for someone to write such a lovely introduction. I look forward to fellowshipping with you!

Re: Introducing Veronica Brentwood
 

Brother Franklin and Sister Pearl,


You both are a handsome looking couple and Sister Pearl, never insult yourself by saying "old fart" . Insulting yourself, insults God, Genesis 1:27


I'm sorry if I came off demanding. This medium lacks in showing a person's personality and my assistant Arlene has an aversion, really a fear like her fear of clowns, to the tiny smilies. She refuses to use them.


Sister Pearl I'm just like you. I put my lingerie on one leg at a time like all other Christian ladies except I just have nicer lingerie.


Don't dress too casual. You don't want viewers thinking you really do need the prizes to spruce up your trailer. Don't over dress either, you'll never get picked because you will outshine Vanna. Wear a nice designer dress and matching jacket with some color. At your age dear, don't go with pastels, it will just drown you out. Stay bold and vibrant like the shining Lord himself. Match your hat, shoes and handbag. Nothing says I'm a servant of the Lord more than matching accessories.


Happy to be the thread to your needle dear.


Kind regards


V.B.


dictated but not read.