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-   -   Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue? (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=117982)

Uncle Rutherford 09-07-2020 12:59 AM

Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
I decided to drive my other car, a 2006 Ford Taurus this morning to church. On my drive home, the speedometer dropped to zero and I saw my RPMs dropping rapidly. I immediately pulled over and stopped. Upon turning the key over again to see if my car would start again, I noticed the starter wasn’t cranking at all. No click no nothing. Got towed home and checked my relays as well as using my test light for all my high current fuses. All good there. Checked my fuses under the steering column and all good. I turned my car to the On position again and remember seeing the same error “low oil pressure”. For chance, I decided to clear it and run the car’s system check. My odometer went from numbers to all dashes and the car’s system check failed to check most everything except the car door being ajar. My OBD-2 scanner can’t establish connection to the PCM either.

I stepped out and prayed hard and long knowing that if anyone can help fix my car, it’s God. He’s the best mechanic around. In the off chance you want to save God the trouble of taking time out of his day to fix my car and want to free up his time, would any of you smart Christian folk be able to give me advice on what I should do next? I suspect it’s a PCM issue and can get a new PCM on the cheap with new keys, but what should I check beforehand?

Basilissa 09-07-2020 01:09 AM

Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
Dear, based on my personal experience with cars, each time the engine stops unexpectedly it means I forgot to fill it up with gas. :)

Alvin Moss 09-07-2020 02:27 AM

Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
God does not want His people having to deal with automobile repair issues. That is why there is a plentiful supply of new cars. My advice is to trade in your car for a new one. Take care of it and it will maintain it's value. Keep it clean and don't get Jheri Curl oil on the seats because it will damage the resale value.

Uncle Rutherford 09-07-2020 03:13 AM

Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
Ohh if only that were a viable option Alvin. That would mean less tithe for Jesus. If I had to weigh between a new car or Making Jesus smile, surely my tithes would come first. I sadly can not afford one without the other and have to choose the cheaper route for transportation which would be getting my car fixed. I am quite handy with tools myself and have done a lot of diagnosing which I could list so far if needed. More technical speak which would include finding an already programmed PCM which would work on my car (just have to give them the VIN) online with a compatible set of keys which I see for 140 on a reputable website. But I would only do so in the hopes that that’s the issue indeed.

Dr. Anthony J. Toole 09-07-2020 06:15 AM

Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
Guaranteed it's the fuel line. Have you check the fuel line? If you haven't then you should have. Don't come back here complaining about not affording tithes until you've undone the fuel line, checked every inch of it, run a subsonic clean and replaced all the hose winches. I would have done that first.

Didymus Much 09-07-2020 06:25 AM

Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole (Post 1273337)
...replaced all the hose winches...

Half dozen spares in my glove box at all times, as well as an extra turboencabulator. :thumbsup:

Uncle Rutherford 09-07-2020 03:59 PM

Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole (Post 1273337)
Guaranteed it's the fuel line. Have you check the fuel line? If you haven't then you should have. Don't come back here complaining about not affording tithes until you've undone the fuel line, checked every inch of it, run a subsonic clean and replaced all the hose winches. I would have done that first.

I wish it was that simple Mr Toole. That would be fantastic if it was just a fuel line/fuel pump issue. I checked the relays and found no power going to the fuel pump relay and the fuel pump fuse is still intact. Same story goes for the starter relay and the starter fuse as well as the PCM relay and PCM fuse. I really suspect that Bill Gates did something to my PCM or the PCM wiring harness but I wouldn’t know how to check for that.

Joanna Lytton-Vasey 09-07-2020 04:23 PM

Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
Are there any of those 5G towers near you, Uncle Rutherford? If so, you might try towing the car into an area where they've all been burned down and then see if it will start.

Isabella White 09-07-2020 04:33 PM

Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
Oh, dear Mr. Rutherford: Now, I will admit, readily and unashamedly, that I am not terribly familiar with the goings-on of what makes mechanical objects operate properly, but I'm always happy to lend some helpful advice -- whenever I can.

I'm just wondering if your automotive problem is because of a clog in the fuel line that feeds the speedometer and odometer? I do hope that this will assist you in fixing your automobile.

Uncle Rutherford 09-07-2020 05:36 PM

Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Isabella White (Post 1273347)
Oh, dear Mr. Rutherford: Now, I will admit, readily and unashamedly, that I am not terribly familiar with the goings-on of what makes mechanical objects operate properly, but I'm always happy to lend some helpful advice -- whenever I can.

I'm just wondering if your automotive problem is because of a clog in the fuel line that feeds the speedometer and odometer? I do hope that this will assist you in fixing your automobile.

I would honestly be surprised if that would actually also cause me to not be able to communicate with my OBD-2 scanner at all and for the errors I get from the car’s own system check such as “charging system read error”, “low oil pressure”, and “fuel cap fail to check” as well as making my odometer read dashes “——————“ instead of the total distance driven in the car. I will check the fuel lines though later today just in case. It’s as though no power is being sent at all to the starter relay as well. My radio also won’t tune into any station. A curious case indeed if a clogged fuel line would cause all of that. My starter’s fuse as well as the starter relay were both replaced just in case even though the fuse wasn’t blown but no change.

Basilissa 09-07-2020 05:57 PM

Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford (Post 1273351)
I would honestly be surprised if that would actually also cause me to not be able to communicate with my OBD-2 scanner at all and for the errors I get from the car’s own system check such as “charging system read error”, “low oil pressure”, and “fuel cap fail to check” as well as making my odometer read dashes “——————“ instead of the total distance driven in the car. I will check the fuel lines though later today just in case. It’s as though no power is being sent at all to the starter relay as well. My radio also won’t tune into any station. A curious case indeed if a clogged fuel line would cause all of that. My starter’s fuse as well as the starter relay were both replaced just in case even though the fuse wasn’t blown but no change.

Wow, you seem to know a lot about cars! Isn't the "--------" on the odometer a good thing, though? I don't think a 2006 Ford Taurus would go for a lot, but you could easily argue that the dashes stand for zero, you know, and that would certainly increase the resell value - maybe even you could sell it for the same price it'll cost you to tow it away. :thumbsup:

And then you'll have space in your garage for an actual car. :thumbsup: Just remember to steer away from these Toyota Prius abominations, they just don't break down like the American cars do, and that boring reliability takes all the fun out of long trips. And the Prius Prime ones are even worse, people who drive them forget where the gas stations are. So I'm told by anonymous sources, that is. :innocent:

Uncle Rutherford 09-07-2020 07:10 PM

Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
A man will tell you, if it can be fixed, it ain’t worth throwing away! I respect your True Christian™️ through and through but I will be darned if I am to take a woman’s advice on just replacing it. 1 Kings 18:30. And Elijah said unto all the people, Come near unto me. And all the people came near unto him. And he repaired the altar of the LORD that was broken down. Elijah didn’t cop out and just throw the altar of the LORD away and replace it. He fixed it like a man is supposed to!!!!

Basilissa 09-07-2020 07:20 PM

Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford (Post 1273356)
A man will tell you, if it can be fixed, it ain’t worth throwing away! I respect your True Christian™️ through and through but I will be darned if I am to take a woman’s advice on just replacing it. 1 Kings 18:30. And Elijah said unto all the people, Come near unto me. And all the people came near unto him. And he repaired the altar of the LORD that was broken down. Elijah didn’t cop out and just throw the altar of the LORD away and replace it. He fixed it like a man is supposed to!!!!

Well, as Brother Alvin aptly put it, that's why God created, and I quote, "a plentiful supply of new cars." Very different from Elijah who could not go to a nearby altar dealership and choose from a plethora of models, colors, and safety features.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alvin Moss (Post 1273335)
God does not want His people having to deal with automobile repair issues. That is why there is a plentiful supply of new cars. My advice is to trade in your car for a new one. Take care of it and it will maintain it's value. Keep it clean and don't get Jheri Curl oil on the seats because it will damage the resale value.

Amen! This is how we make God happy and keep American economy going!!

Joanna Lytton-Vasey 09-07-2020 08:04 PM

Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
I am astonished that Mr Rutherford is arguing with Sister Basilissa AND with Brother Alvin who is, naturally, correct. My husband's policy is always to replace rather than repair - the knowledge of this certainly keeps me on my toes, I can tell you!

But perhaps Mr Rutherford is too poor to replace a malfunctioning automobile? At this point, I'd like to share what one of my 5-but-nearly-6-year-olds said. It was either Zeke or Dan, they're hard to tell apart, but as it was sensible and included copious scriptural references it was almost certainly Zeke.


He said that if something with a lot of parts goes wrong, and if you are too dumb to work out which part is the problem, you should get someone who does know to take a look at it. Because if you randomly take stuff apart and put it back together again, chances are that you'll put some of it back together incorrectly. So then, even if you DO find the fault, when you fix that fault the machine still won't work because of your previous mistakes.

I think this is a lesson that we can all apply in all areas of our lives, but mainly in our close personal relationship with Jesus. :pray:

Uncle Rutherford 09-07-2020 11:38 PM

Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
Oh Joanna that is wise indeed. Sadly mechanics in my area are so far booked out that waiting is not the best viable option. And indeed, with my commitments to Jesus in helping my church stay well funded, I don’t have enough money for a down payment on a new car just yet. I have found that I am very close after checking everything out and determined it to be an issue with an erratic occasional loss of power. I took out my voltmeter and with a little fiddling with the fuses, it was determined that the last person to work on my car did some damage to the insulation of my wiring which also happened to cause a loss of power to my PCM. Gonna go to my local hardware store tomorrow and see if I can wrap things up.

Basilissa 09-08-2020 03:56 PM

Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford (Post 1273361)
Oh Joanna that is wise indeed. Sadly mechanics in my area are so far booked out that waiting is not the best viable option. And indeed, with my commitments to Jesus in helping my church stay well funded, I don’t have enough money for a down payment on a new car just yet. I have found that I am very close after checking everything out and determined it to be an issue with an erratic occasional loss of power. I took out my voltmeter and with a little fiddling with the fuses, it was determined that the last person to work on my car did some damage to the insulation of my wiring which also happened to cause a loss of power to my PCM. Gonna go to my local hardware store tomorrow and see if I can wrap things up.

Well. I will pray for your success, so if you manage to fix it you can thank me for it, and if you don't, that means God hates you. :pray:

Uncle Rutherford 09-08-2020 08:56 PM

Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
Thank you a thousand times over Basilissa. While the issue has not been 100 percent resolved, I have indeed come closer to figuring out what’s wrong and I do believe with your prayers and Jesus’s guidance that I will come out on top in this struggle. I have found out that my car’s internal system check has thrown errors here and there but that some of them have appeared to be checked correctly as they should have. This would lead me away from a PCM swap and to grab the correct tools to check each and every sensor for a short before heading back to the sensor. I know this may sound complicated, but I took my multimeter and checked for continuity at pin 4. Indeed, continuity has NOT been found so that would mean a short somewhere on the circuit and not a PCM issue for now at least.

WilliamJenningsBryan 09-09-2020 06:21 AM

Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
I see you have made some progress here Brother Rutherford, and I apologize for somehow missing this thread in the past. One thing I noticed you missed was trying to "reboot" your PCM (like they tell you to "reboot" your "router" when the internet goes down). In the case of a car, rebooting your PCM requires that you disconnect your battery.

In any event, it looks like you have done all the right things but still have not managed to resolve your problem. In that case I should advise you that in cars there is something called the "ground" demons. In a properly made car there would be twice as many wires, but in order to make cars cheaper they rely on something called a "ground". You can waste your time using your trouble light and check all your fuses and everying will appear to be fine and still not work - and that's where these demons come into play draining your soul. I'm told that it takes some special instruments and skill to exorcise these "ground" demons and it's not for the faint of heart. Best advice is to keep your car as far away from sin as possible.

Uncle Rutherford 09-10-2020 12:32 AM

Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
I have heard stories about the ground gremlins. Rest assured I have checked all these “grounds” three times and found no issue. I’ve sanded them down in the case that my eyes deceive me but no change. I have found something interesting when going up the chain for my starter circuit. I have found that my transmission range sensor fuse, while not broken, is also not receiving power at all. If I am to be understood, without power to the transmission range sensor fuse, then the transmission range sensor can’t do its job of getting the car to start and to tell the PCM “hey we’re in park or neutral, let’s go to church NOW!”. Now if I could only understand what powers the transmission range sensor fuse then I could go up one more chain and probably find the culprit for the misdeeds brought upon by my old yet reliable vehicle. If any of you were to know of a mechanic who knows the answer and could relay that message to me, it would be greatly appreciated and I would include a donation to Pastor Ezekiel’s jet fund in YOUR name. I am not joking about this and do hope to have an answer. I know I’m not a citizen of Freehold but I do hope one of you may help provide me with an answer nonetheless so that Jesus’s time can be freed up to fix other people’s vehicles.

Ezekiel Bathfire 09-10-2020 09:23 AM

Re: Any of you smart White Christian folk able to help me with a car issue?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford (Post 1273333)
On my drive home, the speedometer dropped to zero and I saw my RPMs dropping rapidly. [...] the starter wasn’t cranking at all. No click no nothing.

As far as your car is concerned, God is quite light on guidance related to Ford Tauruses, although it is obvious that, as He knows everything He knows what's wrong.

If we look at the Life on Earth of Jesus, we see that the only time that he takes any sort of transport is when he rides an ass and a foal into Jerusalem, and that is only because it was foretold and He had no choice.

Now if an ass or a foal stops, the solution is rarely a fault in the PCM - it is a big stick, except in the case of Jesus for Whom the foal or ass wouldn't stop at all.

Taking this into consideration - God never gives us more than we can bear - your Ford's breaking down is a message from God. He is asking you to walk more - to walk in the manner of Jesus. He does this so as to put you more in touch with His Creation and to meet more people to whom His Word can be spread. I suggest that you do some walking and tell us how you get on.

in the meantime, Boy, my faithful retainer and chauffeur advises that the right-hand relay in the second row controls the instruments and the first fuse on the left-hand side controls the ICP and under the hood, fuse 22 controls the PCM "keep alive" function. However, as Boy is a Darkie, and does not have a full grasp of Jesus's Word, you can take this or leave it.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey (Post 1273358)
My husband's policy is always to replace rather than repair - the knowledge of this certainly keeps me on my toes, I can tell you!

I wondered why it was that he always refers to you as "The current Mrs Lytton-Vasey." - Well, that's one mystery solved.


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