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Billy Bob Jenkins 08-21-2011 11:23 PM

Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
Most of you know that I am a man who likes to work with his hands. I am a lumberjack, a handy man, a beer drinker, and a Rod wielding family man. The only time my hands are empty is when they are together praying.

Well recently my hands have taken up a new implement: the acoustic guitar. God has placed a glorious song on my heart and I feel it is my Christian duty to share it with the world.




Lyrics:

Come on Down to Freehold, by Billy Bob Jenkins © 2011

Freehold's a town where you can't come around
If you don't believe the Bible is perfectly sound
We stone 'em in the morning and we stone 'em in the night
'Cause we rely on the Bible to teach us wrong from right

Chorus:
So come on down to Freehold
Cast off your secular bonds
repent of your anal sex
and lay down your magical wands

Forget the environment forget the trees
Jesus will return you'd better be down on your knees
But not until we instigate World War III
Imperialize the world. It's good for the economy

Repeat Chorus

Unsaved trash like to take it in the ass
God will smite their genitals with a painful rash
God sends the AIDS when the homers all get laid
The poor keep on sinning while the righteous all get paid

Repeat Chorus twice

WinnerNotSinner 08-22-2011 12:48 AM

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
What a lovely song.

I am confident that the beauty of GOD's Word, verbalised by such a talented melodist and lyricist extraordinaire, would touch the soul of even the most stubborn athiests.

Thank you BB, will you be performing live for the congregation? :)

Billy Bob Jenkins 08-22-2011 01:11 AM

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by WinnerNotSinner (Post 786013)
What a lovely song.

I am confident that the beauty of GOD's Word, verbalised by such a talented melodist and lyricist extraordinaire, would touch the soul of even the most stubborn athiests.

Thank you BB, will you be performing live for the congregation? :)

Thank you WinnerNotSinner. The Lord has indeed gifted me with a talent for country music. I know it is His Hand guiding my fingers across the strings because I have never even practiced! :innocent:

At present, the Lord Jesus is teaching me an even more Christ-oriented piece called "Jesus Weren't No Joo", which I hope to perform as the congregants are arriving this Sunday.

I will be posting more Godly music in this thread from time to time. So stay tuned! :thumbsup:

MisterM 08-22-2011 05:16 AM

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
Now that is music. Not any gaysexual Bible tearing heavy metal but God loving real music. I would give this song LBC seal of approval™

YiC, M

HTannor 08-22-2011 12:10 PM

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
Attending sock hops back in my youth, we teenagers were often called upon to pass judgement on new releases. The highest compliment we could offer was, "It has a good beat and I could dance to it."

Well, Brother Billy Bob, you have a real toe-tapper there and I could easily dance to it.

I'm going to talk to the Mayor this morning and see if can't pipe your tune into the elevators here in the courthouse.

Billy Bob Jenkins 08-22-2011 01:28 PM

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
Jesus Weren't No Jew by Billy Bob Jenkins © 2011



Down there in Des Moines folks is fiddlin' with their loins
this is what some homer said to me
he said if you're such a Christian won't ya give this here a listen
he said Jesus was a Jew by heredity

Chorus:
I said Jesus weren't no Jew
He was a True Christian™ through and through
He was a Real Republican™ and an American™ too.
Jesus weren't no Jew

If you've never read the Bible then chances are you're liable
to think that Jesus may have been a Jew
but the literal interpretation of the King James translation
is written down in English not Hebrew

repeat Chorus

Some Godless Catholic who diddles little pricks said Christ had feet of bronze the Pope said so
I said the Book of Revelation calls America™ His nation
and says His head and hairs are white as snow

repeat Chorus twice

Jack O'fagan 08-22-2011 03:02 PM

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
Wonderful songs brother.

My 6 year old daughter Abishag loves them. If only you could her little voice loudly singing 'Jesus weren't no Jew'. I have tears in my eyes, so proud.

Glory!

Jack

Bobby-Joe 08-22-2011 03:36 PM

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
Glorious music Brother Jenkins. It's refreshing to hear songs free of hate and anal sex obsession. I am sure Jesus smiles upon the Divine Revelation of the songs.

Billy Bob Jenkins 08-22-2011 07:22 PM

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
I feel the Lord moving me to make another hit. I feel it in my toes. It will reach my fingers sometimes this afternoon.

He tells me it will be called "Ballad of a Bastard Son".

Deaner 08-22-2011 07:34 PM

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
Brother Billy;

I am not trying to intrude on a true artist's inspiration; but do you think you could whip something up about God's instruction's to smash babies head's on rocks?

Billy Bob Jenkins 08-22-2011 07:44 PM

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Deaner (Post 786394)
Brother Billy;

I am not trying to intrude on a true artist's inspiration; but do you think you could whip something up about God's instruction's to smash babies head's on rocks?

God willing. :innocent:

Jack O'fagan 08-22-2011 07:50 PM

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Deaner (Post 786394)
Brother Billy;

I am not trying to intrude on a true artist's inspiration; but do you think you could whip something up about God's instruction's to smash babies head's on rocks?

That would be wonderful. Boney M started the Psalm but never finished it. Brother Billy could do it properly. Can you imagine having a True Christian song at the top of the Hit Parade?

YiC

Jack

Billy Bob Jenkins 08-22-2011 08:07 PM

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
Here is a song about a filthy sinner who God kills and sends to Hell forthwith. Victory is the Lord's!

Ballad of a Bastard Son
by Billy Bob Jenkins © 2011



Lyrics:

There once was a man with four fingers on his hand
the Lord had made a freak
his mortal cage was filled with rage
vengeance he would seek

his mother was a whore and his father was poor
he was a bastard son
of Jesus Christ he said nothing nice
of sodomy he said "it's fun"

so he went to California where the people are horny
and he began to sodomize
he raped little sluts in their faces and their butts
and sometimes he raped them twice

he spit on the flag and he marched with the fags
he voted democrat
he worshiped the pope and he smoked lots of dope
when they stood for the pledge, he sat

He mocked George Bush and had sex in the tush
he worshiped chimpanzees
he read God is Not Great, and it made him masturbate
so God smited him with disease

There was blood in his cough, and his genitals fell off
his flesh had a gangrenous smell
he died in great pain, cursing God's name
yes he died, and he went straight to Hell

:lol:

Jack O'fagan 08-22-2011 09:29 PM

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
I love a song with a happy ending. :D

Billy Bob Jenkins 08-22-2011 10:52 PM

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Deaner (Post 786394)
Brother Billy;

I am not trying to intrude on a true artist's inspiration; but do you think you could whip something up about God's instruction's to smash babies head's on rocks?

This one's for you, Deaner

Dash the Little Ones (Against the Stones) by the Godly mega-star Billy Bob Jenkins © 2011



Jephthah burned his daughter like a loyal Christian ought to
Josiah slew the priests and burned their bones
God mocks them with His laughter as they burn in the hereafter
So dash the little ones against the stones!

Dash the little ones...
they're too young to understand the death of the Son of Man
So dash the little ones against the stones

burn the non-believers for they are all deceivers
put their cattle to the sword and all they own
slaughter, rape, and pillage every Midianite village
and dash their little ones against the stones!

Dash the little ones...
Oblivious to Jesus, the Lord will do as He pleases
So dash the little ones against the stones

keep the virgins for yourselves but slaughter everyone else
kill them all so they cannot atone
kill the witches and the homers and the pagan idol owners
and dash their little ones against the stones!

Dash the little ones...
abortion is a crime, but killing kids is fine
So dash the little ones against the stones...

[fade out]

HTannor 08-22-2011 10:54 PM

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Deaner (Post 786394)
Brother Billy;

I am not trying to intrude on a true artist's inspiration; but do you think you could whip something up about God's instruction's to smash babies head's on rocks?


A Godly suggestion, Brother Deaner, however, I'm wondering if Brother Billy Bob may want to "ease" into that so as to not offend those with more sensitive feelings.

And here I'm thinking a nice follow-up to the title track might be "It's Okay to Beat Your Wife."

Then I'm thinking a logical next "cut" might be "You Really Need to Pop Your Daughter's Cherry So She Won't Be a Disappointment to Her Future Husband."

Redeemed Papist 08-22-2011 10:55 PM

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
A suggestion:

She-bear

A wholesome parable. A metaphor for what?

Billy Bob Jenkins 08-22-2011 10:58 PM

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by HTannor (Post 786466)
A Godly suggestion, Brother Deaner, however, I'm wondering if Brother Billy Bob may want to "ease" into that so as to not offend those with more sensitive feelings.

And here I'm thinking a nice follow-up to the title track might be "It's Okay to Beat Your Wife."

Then I'm thinking a logical next "cut" might be "You Really Need to Pop Your Daughter's Cherry So She Won't Be a Disappointment to Her Future Husband."

Too late, Brother! :fear2:

HTannor 08-22-2011 11:02 PM

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins (Post 786468)
Too late, Brother! :fear2:


Oh, darn, Brother Billy Bob, I guess I missed those toe-tappers dealing with wife-beating and cherry-popping. Sorry.

Billy Bob Jenkins 08-22-2011 11:06 PM

Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by HTannor (Post 786469)
Oh, darn, Brother Billy Bob, I guess I missed those toe-tappers dealing with wife-beating and cherry-popping. Sorry.

Oh, not at all, Your Honor. I think I will do one on beating one's wife soon, though, since that is my specialty. :thumbsup:


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