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-   -   Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood! (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=37966)

Cranky Old Man 03-01-2010 11:15 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tekk021 (Post 481472)
male buttocks

Your obsession with porn is getting the better of you. To make sure you stop staring at porn you now have to poke your own eyes out! The Bible is very clear on that: Mark 9:47 "And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire". Since you can still see porn with one eye, you will have to poke both of them out.

You are probably also an obsessive compulsive masturbator. The Bible is very clear on what you have to do about that. You have to rent a chainsaw and remove your hand! Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched". To be on the safe side you might want to remove both hands.

And after you poked your eyes out and removed your hands you have to start reading your KJV1611 Holy Bible to prevent eternal damnation to hell :sinner:.

Tekk021 03-01-2010 11:22 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man (Post 481484)
Your obsession with porn is getting the better of you. To make sure you stop staring at porn you now have to poke your own eyes out! The Bible is very clear on that: Mark 9:47 "And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire". Since you can still see porn with one eye, you will have to poke both of them out.

You are probably also an obsessive compulsive masturbator. The Bible is very clear on what you have to do about that. You have to rent a chainsaw and remove your hand! Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched". To be on the safe side you might want to remove both hands.

And after you poked your eyes out and removed your hands you have to start reading your KJV1611 Holy Bible to prevent eternal damnation to hell :sinner:.

Thank you for you showing your stupidity in this post. I in fact do not look at porn, no would I, it's disgusting. And the masturbation you speak of, I have never done, nor would I, if you assume that everyone is like that, than you are making an ass of yourself. But, I thank you for showing how ignorant you truly are.

Cranky Old Man 03-01-2010 11:27 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tekk021 (Post 481495)
Thank you for you showing your stupidity in this post. I in fact do not look at porn, no would I, it's disgusting. And the masturbation you speak of, I have never done, nor would I, if you assume that everyone is like that, than you are making an ass of yourself. But, I thank you for showing how ignorant you truly are.

Well, you were the one who brought up staring to "male buttocks" :bad:. Perhaps you do not realize it but all those "male buttocks" you have been staring at are porn. That you have a different name for it does not mean it is not porn.

Tekk021 03-01-2010 11:33 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer (Post 481460)
Ah, the lack of focus so common to the public school student. No doubt you were staring at the firm young buttocks of the football player seated ahead of you.



No doubt, they gave up. Poor dears. I imagine God will reward them with an eternity of torture for their failures.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man (Post 481504)
Well, you were the one who brought up staring to "male buttocks" :bad:. Perhaps you do not realize it but all those "male buttocks" you have been staring at are porn. That you have a different name for it does not mean it is not porn.

Now you see Sir COM your Rev. M. Rodimer. Brought up the "buttocks" first, in which I commented about, had you actually been reading and comprehending what had been typed, and had entered your tiny mind, you would note that I have nothing to do with such things as that. However, your mind seems to be too tiny to process such information as that, in which case I feel very sorry for you, since you are twisting my words to make yourself look better in the eyes of your god.

Cranky Old Man 03-01-2010 11:51 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tekk021 (Post 481513)
to make yourself look better in the eyes of your god

I do not need to do that. God is all knowing, it is not possible to fool Him. Just like your little lies here will not convince God that you never looked at porn.

Miss Cassandra 03-01-2010 11:57 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Rachel Sue (Post 481416)
I'm not the one whose religion worships a woman for having relations with a bipedal goat (who is technically her bastard son). Bestiality and incest together in one religion? Well from what I've heard about you, that seems about right.

And again you take the beliefs of a few wiccans and extrapolate to the greater group. That means you are close minded and stupid. Even within a covens, personal beliefs vary vastly.

And speaking as someone who worships a zombie that is the bastard son of a guy named "Jealous" and a young jewish girl, I think your position to criticize my religion isn't very strong!:lol:

Quote:

By your own reasoning, since you refuse to marry and since you hide from your own father, you have no mind. Correct?
Wow, being a "true christian housewife" really makes women braindead.:thumbdown:

If you had followed my very simple argument, you would have realized that I reasoned from your position, if you followed biblical law. I personally reject biblical law, and I don't think the man is the head of the woman.

Quote:

a power hungry pervert wrote a book about a pipe dream and convinced thousands of weak minded idiots to follow his lead.
This really makes me think of some other religion. Hmmm. Which one could that be?:sarcasm:

Quote:

So long as my hunting and fishing do not interfere with my housework, they are nothing to be ashamed of.
Pastor Billy Reuben often says: if a woman has spare time, than she hasn't cleaned the house/studied the bible thoroughly enough.

He is a complete retard, that is true, but a retard who is in a leading position in your religion. Shouldn't you obey someone like that?:huh:

Quote:

As for Philippe being older than me, what do you honestly expect? Why would I want to marry a child when I'll soon have my hands full with my own babies?
You're taking it to the other extreme, Rachel. I was talking about marrying someone of the same age as you are. Not a child.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rachel Sue (Post 481447)
I see from your mastery of the English language that you have been poorly home schooled. I honestly can't understand a single thing that you're trying to say. Your second sentence doesn't even contain a verb!

How can Tekk021 help that you have become so stupid at home school that you can't understand him? That's not his fault, that's your parents' fault.:thumbdown:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tekk021 (Post 481472)
Frankly, you were the one implying that I was looking at the male rear, so it would have to be some sick part of your mind to think that, with out even knowing me. I would not be surprised one bit if you in fact, were the one that liked looking that the male buttocks if you are so quick to assume everyone else is.

You are very right, Tekk. Many christian pastors are latent homosexuals, as homophobes generally are (Adams et al, 1996).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tekk021 (Post 481513)
Now you see Sir COM your Rev. M. Rodimer. Brought up the "buttocks" first, in which I commented about, had you actually been reading and comprehending what had been typed, and had entered your tiny mind, you would note that I have nothing to do with such things as that. However, your mind seems to be too tiny to process such information as that, in which case I feel very sorry for you, since you are twisting my words to make yourself look better in the eyes of your god.

They have lost the fight, but they do not realize it, Tekk. Rodimer is a little slimeball from another church who dreams of a fascist "true christian" state where homosexuals are publicly stoned.
Cranky is a deranged hermit living on the outskirts of the town of Freehold, and rumors persist about his suspicious fondling of his guns, and the unusual lubricity of their barrels. I'll leave it at that.:lol:

Sariel 03-02-2010 12:31 AM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Wow.. i can't wait to meet this Cranky.. :prophet: :bad:

Cranky Old Man 03-02-2010 12:37 AM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sariel (Post 481577)
Wow.. i can't wait to meet this Cranky.. :prophet: :bad:

You will, I will be the one laughing at you while you are burning in hell :sinner: :haha:.

Sariel 03-02-2010 12:43 AM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man (Post 481586)
You will, I will be the one laughing at you while you are burning in hell :sinner: :haha:.

According to you the world is going to end in 4 days.. Go ahead, spend all your savings, triple mortgage your house.. i bet your spirits wont be as high when you're homeless.

Miss Cassandra 03-02-2010 12:53 AM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sariel (Post 481591)
According to you the world is going to end in 4 days.. Go ahead, spend all your savings, triple mortgage your house.. i bet your spirits wont be as high when you're homeless.

I believe he has sold everything he possesses, following the advice of Free Market Fred, a "true christian" charlatan who will be very rich once people realize the rapture isn't going to happen and they are going to pay $99 a month without having their debts settled, as Fred promised.

Sariel 03-02-2010 12:56 AM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Cassandra (Post 481602)
I believe he has sold everything he possesses, following the advice of Free Market Fred, a "true christian" charlatan who will be very rich once people realize the rapture isn't going to happen and they are going to pay $99 a month without having their debts settled, as Fred promised.

Even though it's deceitful, it's quite clever, taking advantage of blind faith to make some quick money. It's a shame..

sloppyjotbone 03-02-2010 01:57 AM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man (Post 481484)
Your obsession with porn is getting the better of you. To make sure you stop staring at porn you now have to poke your own eyes out! The Bible is very clear on that: Mark 9:47 "And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire". Since you can still see porn with one eye, you will have to poke both of them out.

You are probably also an obsessive compulsive masturbator. The Bible is very clear on what you have to do about that. You have to rent a chainsaw and remove your hand! Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched". To be on the safe side you might want to remove both hands.

And after you poked your eyes out and removed your hands you have to start reading your KJV1611 Holy Bible to prevent eternal damnation to hell :sinner:.


I have noticed that you are one of the most ridiculously stupid people that frequent this website. You use the same two to three bible passages, and you use them all completely wrong. Those two passages have absolutley nothing to do with homosexuality. Especially when you are accusing someone of things that they are not. Your stupidity honestly has amazed me.

Forest Spirit 03-02-2010 02:05 AM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
This is so terrible I'm sorry for you I hope you never have to go back to that place again you need to get on with your life and go somewhere that you can make something of yourself like New York or Paris good luck to you and I'm so happy that at least someone has enough brains to get out of this crazy cult.

Jacob the Angry Liar 03-02-2010 03:32 AM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sloppyjotbone (Post 481629)
I have noticed that you are one of the most ridiculously stupid people that frequent this website. You use the same two to three bible passages, and you use them all completely wrong. Those two passages have absolutley nothing to do with homosexuality. Especially when you are accusing someone of things that they are not. Your stupidity honestly has amazed me.

You are not fit to lick Brother Cranky Old Man's hunting boots. Those passages have everything to do with homersexicality. If you're a fag who deliberately ignores Leviticus 18:22 and who likes to look at gay p*rn or stroke your tallywhacker while fantasizing about men who are not Jesus, you should cut off your hands and pluck out your eyes. Otherwise, you will burn in hellfire. It's simple logic. Maybe if you used your head, you'd realize the relevance of those passages. In fact, by that logic, you're the "stupid one". Not only do you ignore Biblical teachings, but you don't use your God-given head. Shame. :thumbdown:

Sariel 03-02-2010 09:54 AM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jacob11 (Post 481680)
You are not fit to lick Brother Cranky Old Man's hunting boots. Those passages have everything to do with homersexicality. If you're a fag who deliberately ignores Leviticus 18:22 and who likes to look at gay p*rn or stroke your tallywhacker while fantasizing about men who are not Jesus, you should cut off your hands and pluck out your eyes. Otherwise, you will burn in hellfire. It's simple logic. Maybe if you used your head, you'd realize the relevance of those passages. In fact, by that logic, you're the "stupid one". Not only do you ignore Biblical teachings, but you don't use your God-given head. Shame. :thumbdown:

So you're saying it's ok to stroke your tallywhacker and fantasize about Jesus? That's how you make it seem.
It's only stupid to ignore Biblical teachings if you believe in that nonsense.

Cranky Old Man 03-02-2010 11:27 AM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sloppyjotbone (Post 481629)
I have noticed that you are one of the most ridiculously stupid people that frequent this website. You use the same two to three bible passages, and you use them all completely wrong. Those two passages have absolutley nothing to do with homosexuality.

Of course they do not have to do with homosexuality. Are you stupid and blind? Mark 9:47 and Mark 9:43 are clearly about porn and masturbation. For homosexuality we have: Romans 1:26-27 "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet."

Do you see how God has an answer for everything?

sloppyjotbone 03-02-2010 01:54 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jacob11 (Post 481680)
You are not fit to lick Brother Cranky Old Man's hunting boots. Those passages have everything to do with homersexicality. If you're a fag who deliberately ignores Leviticus 18:22 and who likes to look at gay p*rn or stroke your tallywhacker while fantasizing about men who are not Jesus, you should cut off your hands and pluck out your eyes. Otherwise, you will burn in hellfire. It's simple logic. Maybe if you used your head, you'd realize the relevance of those passages. In fact, by that logic, you're the "stupid one". Not only do you ignore Biblical teachings, but you don't use your God-given head. Shame. :thumbdown:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man (Post 481783)
Of course they do not have to do with homosexuality. Are you stupid and blind? Mark 9:47 and Mark 9:43 are clearly about porn and masturbation. For homosexuality we have: Romans 1:26-27 "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet."

Do you see how God has an answer for everything?



See, you both contradict each other.

James Hutchins 03-02-2010 02:02 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sloppyjotbone (Post 481825)
See, you both contradict each other.

There is no contradiction. Once again, you are wrong. :lol:

Pastor Ezekiel 03-02-2010 02:03 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sloppyjotbone (Post 481825)
See, you both contradict each other.

You think that because you are unsaved and lack discernment. Plus, your father is satan.

Quote:

John 8:43 Why do ye not understand my speech? even because ye cannot hear my word. 8:44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. 8:45 And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not.

Miss Cassandra 03-02-2010 02:08 PM

Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sariel (Post 481749)
It's only stupid to ignore Biblical teachings if you believe in that nonsense.

Then it's doubly stupid, because believing in the bible is stupid, and ignoring something you claim to believe in is stupid!:lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by sloppyjotbone (Post 481825)
See, you both contradict each other.

They often do. They themselves have no problem with that, as there are still a lot more self-contradictions within the bible, which they claim to follow to the letter. They do not care to make much sense.:D

I mean, look at their "rebukes" of your post:

Quote:

Originally Posted by James Hutchins (Post 481833)
There is no contradiction. Once again, you are wrong. :lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 481835)
You think that because you are unsaved and lack discernment. Plus, your father is satan.

Isn't christianity an amazingly logical religion?:laughing:


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