A tale of God and lice
Today, we'll be studying a well-known story from Exodus, that shows just why no rational person could fail to choose Jesus.
Exodus 7:10 And Moses and Aaron went in unto Pharaoh, and they did so as the LORD had commanded: and Aaron cast down his rod before Pharaoh, and before his servants, and it became a serpent. 11 Then Pharaoh also called the wise men and the sorcerers: now the magicians of Egypt, they also did in like manner with their enchantments. 12 For they cast down every man his rod, and they became serpents: but Aaron's rod swallowed up their rods. So Moses and Aaron go before Pharoah, and God turns a rod into a snake. Then Pharoah's magicians (the wiccans of their day) do the same thing, but Aaron's rod swallows up their rods. 19 And the LORD spake unto Moses, Say unto Aaron, Take thy rod, and stretch out thine hand upon the waters of Egypt, upon their streams, upon their rivers, and upon their ponds, and upon all their pools of water, that they may become blood; and that there may be blood throughout all the land of Egypt, both in vessels of wood, and in vessels of stone. 20 And Moses and Aaron did so, as the LORD commanded; and he lifted up the rod, and smote the waters that were in the river, in the sight of Pharaoh, and in the sight of his servants; and all the waters that were in the river were turned to blood. 21 And the fish that was in the river died; and the river stank, and the Egyptians could not drink of the water of the river; and there was blood throughout all the land of Egypt. 22 And the magicians of Egypt did so with their enchantments: and Pharaoh's heart was hardened, neither did he hearken unto them; as the LORD had said. So, then Moses and Aaron, with God's help, turn all the water into Egypt into blood. But then Pharoah's pet wiccans turn the water that's just been turned into blood into blood, so Pharoah's not too impressed (it's worth bearing in mind throughout this story that God keeps on hardening Pharoah's heart, so Pharoah won't be impressed by the tricks God keeps doing, and God will have an excuse to do even better stuff, like kill all the firstborn in Egypt. But I digress.) Exodus 8:5 And the LORD spake unto Moses, Say unto Aaron, Stretch forth thine hand with thy rod over the streams, over the rivers, and over the ponds, and cause frogs to come up upon the land of Egypt. 6 And Aaron stretched out his hand over the waters of Egypt; and the frogs came up, and covered the land of Egypt. 7 And the magicians did so with their enchantments, and brought up frogs upon the land of Egypt. Then Aaron and God cover the land of Egypt with frogs, but the Egyptian goths create even more frogs. I'm not entirely sure how popular the Egyptian magicians would have been with their countrymen by this point, but no-one cares what ragheads think anyway. This is as true today as it was then. 16 And the LORD said unto Moses, Say unto Aaron, Stretch out thy rod, and smite the dust of the land, that it may become lice throughout all the land of Egypt. 17 And they did so; for Aaron stretched out his hand with his rod, and smote the dust of the earth, and it became lice in man, and in beast; all the dust of the land became lice throughout all the land of Egypt. 18 And the magicians did so with their enchantments to bring forth lice, but they could not: so there were lice upon man, and upon beast. 19 Then the magicians said unto Pharaoh, This is the finger of God: and Pharaoh's heart was hardened, and he hearkened not unto them; as the LORD had said. So, God and Aaron turn the dust into lice, and the magicians try and fail to match this achievement. Then they (the Egyptian magicians) recognise God's power at work. There is a valuable lesson in this story for the Christian youth of today. If the "cool kids" at your school try to tempt you to do sinful things like smoking marijuana or fornicating out of wedlock or listen to Catholic bands like Cannibal Corpse, and they try and impress you by turning rods into snakes, or water into blood, just ask them to try and turn dust into lice. There is no way they'll be able to do it. Only God can do that. They'll be shown up like the losers they are. |
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YIC Hushed |
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that is so wrong!
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That there was a volcano eruption or something. That volcano caused a mudslide that made the Nile appear to be blood (but it was actually a reddish mud) and killed the fish. The second plague of frogs, they claim happened because the frogs all jumped out of the muddy water. The third plague of lice, they claim was because the people couldn't wash themselves in the bloody water. The fourth plague of flies they claim happened because there was all kinds of dieing frogs lying around. The fifth plague of diseased livestock, they blame on the flies, and lice. The sixth plague, of boils on people they claim was just the lice got infected or something. The seventh plague, of hail, they claim was actually from the volcano eruption. The eighth plague of locust they claim was the locusts eating all the knocked over crops that were stirred up from the flaming hail. The ninth plague of darkness, they claim was the cloud of ash. The 10th plague of death of the first born was pretty much inevitable as there was no water to drink, no food to eat, people were covered in lice and boils. But that's all wrong because God did it! YIC V |
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logic is what the world is made up from.
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no but logic is true!
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Sickular logic is FALSE, as is everything in opposition to the KJV1611. |
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Oooh, Goodie! This is just like Bible Study with Uncle Harry except we're not having a quiz or a Deuteronomy Deul - are we?
And I know, Brother T, that you would never, ever make me sit next to that bald-headed "Man!" SUV |
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We aren't here to entertain mockers like you, and the KJV1611 wasn't written for such purposes either! Get thee hence and go to hell. :angry: |
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Sounds like another day at the Orifice for your average Cattylick Priest. |
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The Pope is an wizened old lump of antichristian flesh that thinks he's a cannibal. It's not hard to see where they got the name from. |
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Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you. Are all Christians cannibals? |
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