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-   -   Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=54168)

Lycia The Repentant 01-11-2011 05:47 AM

Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter (Post 672549)
Sister Lycia,

Not sure why or how I got this in my electronic mail. Can you help this poor thing? I have no idea what to do with this.

Oh gosh! I'll certainly see what I can do, Brother. :blush:

Quote:

id like to stoop being a hooker but it is the oldest professsion in the world and serves many purposess. it doesnt really hurt anybody and is my onlyu sourrce of money. if i stop andd belieeve in Jesus how will I make any moneyy?

shelly
Dear Shelly,

First of all, let me say how much it warms my heart to see a fallen lady want to stop worshiping tallywhackers and start worshiping Jesus! However, since you have decided to spend your time studying male anatomy instead of studying the Bible there are a lot of misconceptions in your message that we will need to clear up.

To start, tempting men out of their money and their virtue is definitely NOT the oldest profession in the world. Men were plowing fields long before some harlot came up with the idea of seducing men into plowing them for money. In fact, the oldest profession in the world is either farming or shepherding (the Bible isn't exactly clear on this).

"And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground." Genesis 4:2

So please do not try to make the act of ensnaring men and leading them into death sound legitimate by passing it off as the oldest profession in the world. Us women don't get ideas very often, so after Eve had that one about eating the fruit, it probably took a couple of centuries before we had the idea to sell our bodies for money (These are actually two great examples of why we shouldn't be doing any thinking, I hope you're paying attention).

Which brings me to my next point. There is only one purpose to being a whore, and it is certainly NOT a purpose we women should be working towards, because it DOES hurt people. The only reason a woman would be a whore is if she isn't content with going to Hell by herself and wants to drag every man she's ever fornicated with there too. And don't think you're getting any pleasure out of it, unless you've become so confused that you think doing Satan's work and casting men down into the lake of fire is pleasurable.

"To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words; Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God. For her house inclineth unto death, and her paths unto the dead. None that go unto her return again, neither take they hold of the paths of life."
Proverbs 2:16-18

"Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths. For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her. Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death." Proverbs 7:25-27

"Whoso is simple, let him turn in hither: and as for him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him, Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell."
Proverbs 9:16-18

Now, I think you can understand exactly why you need to leave your deathstyle choice, let's get on to your concern about money. If you believe in Jesus, you will find everything you need will be provided for you! :thumbsup:

"And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." Matthew 21:22

Of course, since you are still a filthy unsaved slut, and I doubt Jesus will listen to your prayers, I have taken the liberty of listing out a few professions acceptable for unmarried women so you can have some money while you wait to find a husband.

"She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard." Proverbs 31:16

"She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff." Proverbs 31:18-19

"She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant." Proverbs 31:24

"And found a certain Jew named Aquila, born in Pontus, lately come from Italy, with his wife Priscilla; (because that Claudius had commanded all Jews to depart from Rome: ) and came unto them. And because he was of the same craft, he abode with them, and wrought: for by their occupation they were tentmakers." Acts 18:2-3

"And a certain woman named Lydia, a seller of purple, of the city of Thyatira, which worshipped God, heard us: whose heart the Lord opened, that she attended unto the things which were spoken of Paul."
Acts 16:14

So, while you're waiting to get Saved© and finding yourself a husband, Shelly, you can either be a farmer, seamstress, tentmaker (not the kind of tentmaking you're thinking of, but the king where you make tents for people to sleep in) or a seller of purple. Any other choice of career may be sinful and it would be best to ask a pastor about that.

Now then Shelley, are you ready to drop to your knees and let Jesus enter you? :thumbsup:

Your's in Christ,

Lycia :)

Jinnye 01-11-2011 10:02 PM

Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot
 
Harlot or not, but I will NEVER tan my skin brown to look like a nightclub-girl. Sun is bad for my sensitive skin.

BelieverInGod 01-11-2011 11:50 PM

Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jinnye (Post 672951)
Harlot or not, but I will NEVER tan my skin brown to look like a nightclub-girl. Sun is bad for my sensitive skin.

Your going to get nice and toasty in Hell.

no sunshine for me.. 01-13-2011 08:34 PM

Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot
 
Ok, I am not sure where to post this on your thread. But I am trying. It all started because I was raised Catholic; which I hated. And there is so much more...I hope this message reaches you...as you seem to have turned things around for yourself...

Please let me know if you get this. Thanks.... - Sunshine!

Lycia The Repentant 01-13-2011 08:40 PM

Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by no sunshine for me.. (Post 674009)
Ok, I am not sure where to post this on your thread. But I am trying. It all started because I was raised Catholic; which I hated. And there is so much more...I hope this message reaches you...as you seem to have turned things around for yourself...

Please let me know if you get this. Thanks.... - Sunshine!

Thank you Ms. Sunshine. I've actually received another email from a catlick harlot wishing to repent and I am working on a response to her that I am sure would be helpful to you as well. Please be patient while I finish writing it up and post it here. In the meantime, why don't you work on your leg-crossing exercises and read the KJV Bible? I suggest starting with Proverbs 31, it has great advice for how a Godly woman should act! :thumbsup:

Your's in Christ,

Lycia :)

Lycia The Repentant 01-13-2011 09:54 PM

Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot
 
Wow! Today looks like it's shaping up to be a busy day for ministering to strumpets looking to get Saved©! In addition to our Ms. Sunshine seeking help, I've also received an email from a catlick slut interested in not being a whore anymore. I feel like Priscilla must have felt when she and Aquila corrected the faith of Apollos!

"And a certain Jew named Apollos, born at Alexandria, an eloquent man, and mighty in the scriptures, came to Ephesus. This man was instructed in the way of the Lord; and being fervent in the spirit, he spake and taught diligently the things of the Lord, knowing only the baptism of John. And he began to speak boldly in the synagogue: whom when Aquila and Priscilla had heard, they took him unto them, and expounded unto him the way of God more perfectly." Acts 18:24-26

Now, here is the email I received today:

Quote:

Originally Posted by some harlot
dear lycia,

just because i'm a girl and go to a catholic school, people think i'm some kind of slut! its a stereotype, people!! what can i do to make people stop thinking i'm a whore? its embarrassing when i go on a date and people assume theyre going to get some! thanks!

- Jezebel Hussy*

*name has been changed to protect the slut's privacy

Hi Jezebel! I'm sure glad you want to stop being a slut, but unfortunately, you absolutely cannot do so unless you do one thing first; leave the papacy! Only after you leave the catlick cult can you begin on your journey to stop being a hellbound harlot!

Perhaps you aren't aware of this, but in addition to the papacy's many other heresies, they have the dubious distinction of being the world's oldest, and largest, sex cult. When they aren't kowtowing before Mary, their queen of heaven, the papists indulge in vile activities such as worshiping rectums and tallywhackers. The leaders of the papacy, being possessed of an animal-like cunning, realized there was a problem with training all of their men to be priests, and all of their priests to be homer pedophiles. How would they make more papists? So the pope, in his infernal brilliancy, set out to create an educational institution that is guaranteed to turn any innocent little girl entering it to leave an insatiable, tallywhacker-crazed slattern.

I've had the help of True Christian™ men in gathering indisputable, photographic evidence of this. Children, women, and the elderly may want to turn away now.






Now, when a little catlick girl enters a parochial school, the nuns make it their first order of business to teach her how to read. This, while being a dangerously liberal idea, isn't sinful in of itself, but the reading material they give them practically ensures that those girls won't make it out of there with their virtue intact.

http://www.pixiepalace.com/wp-conten...GuideToSex.jpg http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/9...irlsguide5.jpg


Of course, it certainly doesn't help that the nuns teaching them are all vile temptresses, and think sapphic displays are "educational". :bad:

http://impious.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/sexy_nun.jpg

Is it any wonder that catlicks aren't encouraged to read the Bible? They might run into verses like these!

"For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet." Romans 1:26-27

"Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols. And I gave her space to repent of her fornication; and she repented not. Behold, I will cast her into a bed, and them that commit adultery with her into great tribulation, except they repent of their deeds.
And I will kill her children with death; and all the churches shall know that I am he which searcheth the reins and hearts: and I will give unto every one of you according to your works." Revelation 2:20-23

Disgusting! Just thinking about it makes me want to run into my prayer closet!

So, I would exhort any catlick harlots who wish to repent of their sins to throw out your rosaries, close your legs, accept Jesus and sin no more! Only after you resist the vile advances of the "queen of heaven" can you begin by following my guide carefully, beginning with reading the KJV Bible and ending with Salvation©!

Now, I'm off to the prayer closet to purge these vile images from my head. I'll just leave my favorite scripture here for now:

"I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance." Luke 15:7

Brother Scott 01-13-2011 10:01 PM

Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant (Post 674045)

Of course, it certainly doesn't help that the nuns teaching them are all vile temptresses, and think sapphic displays are "educational". :bad:

http://impious.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/sexy_nun.jpg


Lycia, first and foremost I want to congratulate you for doing the Lord's work and doing it so well.

I am saving this picture and forwarding it to everyone I know in order for them to able to see the type of subvert temptation that the catholic cult uses to ensnare young minds!


God bless you Sister Lycia!

wait_what 04-23-2011 06:16 AM

Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot
 
I must say Sister Lycia, that this is one of the easiest to follow and well written guides for the temptress harlots of the world.

You have outdone yourself this time.

I hope more young ladies see this and apply it before it is too late.

Brother Harold Porter 05-23-2011 01:40 AM

Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot
 
Shout glory! For the unsaved and diseased whores that may lurk. Here's your chance at redemption!

:symposion:

In Christ

María Gálvez-Villalobos 05-23-2011 12:02 PM

Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter (Post 754527)
Shout glory! For the unsaved and diseased whores that may lurk. Here's your chance at redemption!

:symposion:

In Christ

Can I just thank to Lycia for this thread cos I know I am walking in virtue and will never be a harlot like some of that girls mentioned or like the catolics.:innocent:

But nevertheleast, is important for have reminding of this so thank you Lycia - is a fantastic example for keep all gilrs straight.:thumbsup:


YIC, Mari.:innocent:


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