The Beavers on Noah's Ark
 

I get so many questions about LBC as I go about Freehold every day. While we are a Christian community, I can assure that tucked in among our Jesus-loving citizens are some skeptics.

When I stopped by the Senior Center for coffee yesterday one of the skeptics, an older woman, raced over to challenge me with her newest bogus argument that the Bible is not the True Word of God. It was, "If there really was a Noah's Ark, with animals of every kind on board, why didn't the beavers gnaw through the wall of the ark and make it sink?"

She did not know I have been asked that question before and consulted our pastors. I told her, "Noah pulled some teeth before the beaver pair went on board." Seeing the defeated look on her face made my day.

Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark
 

Good one, Mr. Mayor! You should warn her joke that someone might pull her teeth out if she asks any more silly questions.

Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark
 

Excellent Biblical exegesis Mayor Hold. I often find that atheist try to challenge our faith by attacking the idea that there were really two of every animal. They simply can't accept that one ark contained a pair of pandas/unicorns/Australian Aborigines/giraffes/polar bears/llamas/velociraptors and so on. I even had one Darwinist ask me where Noah fit the humpback whales - fish didn't need to get on the ark dumbass.

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I always wondered why the dragons didn't burn the Ark. Apparently Noah fed them a lot of Alka Seltzer.

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I always thought that Noah kept the beavers and unicorns above the waterline. I didn't realize that the beavers had a dedentition process. It should have been obvious to me that this was the case as a workplace safety issue on The Ark. Were the 2 unicorns dehorned to prevent inadvertent damage and punctures to the sides of The Ark when they swished their heads? Or were the unicorns thrown overboard to prevent more damage to The Ark? Maybe that's why there is a severe lack of unicorns these days, compared to all the other animals on The Ark. There's still plenty of beavers, depending on where you look.

Phil

Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark
 

I think you are right, Brother Phil, in that Noah would have planned carefully and would have considered putting destructive animals above the water line. But when he considered holes in the side during rain 24/7 for over a month, he would have decided against it.

The unicorns remain a mystery. Perhaps they were eaten by Noah and his family or fed to the lions. They would have presented a safety problem for sure.

Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark
 

The marsupial beaver has venomous fangs, conveniently (for it) located on the hind legs. Scurrying for the day's ration of worms or bamboo, how easy it would be for an innocent creature to be jabbed and die in horrible agony! There were more of the clean animals taken on board so that Noah would have some to kill for God after they landed safely as a thank-you sacrifice. If any of those perished, the numbers would come up short – and God is very specific on which and how many animals need to be sacrificed. Carrots are not an acceptable alternative and, if offered, would necessitate a stern response.

So I imagine, perhaps I'm being foolish, that God would have calmed these things so that nothing got envenomed. Perhaps, since there seem to be plenty surviving the flood, opium poppies could have been used?

Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark
 

The Good Lord made most things in Australia venomous. It was a hint to avoid the place which was only suitable for sinners as an introduction to Hell.

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While I'll never question the inerrant Word of God as transcribed in the Holy Bible (fools folly) I have to wonder why the obviously senile old bat was not dealt with for making such inflammatory comments,

Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark
 

I never liked beavers. They're hairy and smelly and wet and full of diseases. Disgusting!

Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark
 

This is a reminder that even though summer is winding down, there is still time for a drive to see Noah's Ark in Kentucky. Seeing the Ark reminds us of both God's mercy in saving Noah and his family but also God's wrath at drowning a couple of million sinners.

I want to mention to people planning a trip to the Ark Encounter they should disregard negative reviews. So many people, even Christians, complain about all the items for sale in and around the Ark. Visitors do not have to buy these souvenirs, even though taking something home will remind one of God's message to Noah and His message to sinners.

Overpriced Christian Tourist Trap - Review of Ark Encounter, Williamstown, KY - Tripadvisor

Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark
 

Of course, Noah pulled the beavers' teeth. He was a True Christian™ who didn't care about woke animal rights!

Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark
 

He was a great ship builder, and a righteous man, and entrusted by God to preserve the human race, and animals, birds and bugs. The fish could look after themselves. And the fish did pretty well, so it seems.


Then Noah ended up a cheap drunk, lying naked in a tent. Maybe the pressure got to him.

I'm reluctant to regard him as a True Christian™, mainly because there are some problems with the timeline between the death of Noah (at 950 years old!), and the Birth Of Christ sometime later.

However, if Noah could remove teeth from a beaver, then he had some admirable dental skills, and that is what he should be remembered for, and not his fondness for the grape.


Phil

Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark
 

IT SAYS:Now they want free food? I didn't know whether to laugh or bang my head. Firstly, this disingenuous correspondent drove there from New York. Now imagine if there was nowhere to buy food? There'd be no end of complaining about lack of this, disregard for that and "discomfort after hours on the road" the other. So they do have a food stall. (And snacks.) Every consideration shown but if the cost of a meal was added to the ticket price and someone didn't eat one.

:fear2: and on and on it would be never ending. Education is so important but maniacs have taken over and the most important thing taught, other than to mock the history recorded by God, is to complain.

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Great point, Sister. Just outside the Ark is the Ark's restaurant. Parents with two teenagers and eat there for next to nothing, probably $70 with a modest tip.

Family Dining | Ark Encounter

Then, if they bought the cheapest tickets into the Ark it would be only another $180. They would have arrived close to God for only $250. It would be wise for them to buy the extra features for only $100 more. If two families from Iowa shared a car and motel room the entire trip would hardly touch their budgets.

Ark Encounter Tickets | Ark Encounter

Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark
 

Two families sharing a car???? For Heaven's sake, we don't live in Arkansas.

https://www.prewarbuick.com/img/feat...k/b472f7e0.jpg

Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark
 

$350 + accommodations + travel sounds like a great investment. Families that can't afford it should pray harder, or even better apply for loans. The city of Williamstown agreed with that on their behalf - they issued $92m in municipal debt to fund the Ark. The bonds “are only worth as much as the ark makes and how much they get in revenues through the gate”. Therefore the State needs to guarantee ticket sales to keep the ark afloat, and throw in a stadium like with football teams, or Mr. Ham will sail his ark on to the next state for sweet tax relief.

Nick Fish, national program director for American Atheists, complained: “If they want to spend tens of millions on something like this, it’s up to them although we think they’d be better served helping the homeless and feeding the hungry”.

Narrow minded atheists like Fish can't see how flagship projects, such as a replica Ark, a $400m Bible museum, a Holy Land Experience theme park in Orlando FL, etc., give so much more back to the community than boring food and shelter. Jesus isn't famous because He was a nice guy, it's because He did amazing miracles! That's what drove in the customers and made Christianity a success. Present day national leadership celebrities are humbly plowing Jesus' furrow.

Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark
 

Brother Dennis,

I realize it isn't a short jaunt from your hotel to the Ark Encounter, but wouldn't a stay in your Godly establishment coupled with a Bible Bus trip to Kentucky make a wholesome and profitable experience for guests? $500 per person seems fair. $700 with extras and a sack lunch prepared by the womanly participants. Perhaps bologna and mustard.


Guests could chip in on gas via an offering plate. Consider it and perhaps I could preach on the way there and back.

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I don't tip. Luke 3:14; 19:22


EDIT: Forgot: I see an opportunity here for a Christ-centric accommodational chain to emerge, perhaps even headquartered in Kentucky. Happy to contribute in any way.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrotherLarry (Post 1311696) Godly establishment coupled

Re: The Beavers on Noah's Ark
 

For those in Freehold considering a trip to Ark Encounter before Winter I'd suggest you look at the official website. The things you will learn are amazing. I don't know how Ken Ham, the Ark Encounter creator, learned about all that.

There is, for example, a mockup of the on-board living quarters. Noah wanted to reward his family members for their hard work building the Ark so he outfitted them with nice digs. You can see in the picture what appears to be a Persian rug on the floor.

In the middle of the living room, just where you would expect to find a nice coffee table, there it is, a coffee table. It has a drawer for putting away serving items. For Noah to build something with such detail back before there were power tools meant Noah wanted some of the finery his family expected. The coffee table is as nice as anything one could buy at the Walmart in Williamstown, KY, three miles away.

There is an educational piece to the Ark as well. That is why schools like Freehold dismiss classes to send their students in the Ark Encounter. Children learn why God sent the flood. The sins people were committing back then are studied. Was it bad?? Yes. Why would God kill millions if it was not bad?

Best wishes to all who visit the Ark this fall.

Exhibits | Ark Encounter