Landover In Iraq: Mission Accomplished
 

Glory to God!

American soldiers--and God bless them all!--have been doing a little more than just making the world safe for democracy. They have also begun making the afterlife safe for as many of the Iraqi people as are willing to turn from their Muslim ways and embrace the love of Jesus Christ. In a joint covert operation of the US Department of Faith and the Armed Forces Chaplains Board, funded by generous contributions from the Landover Baptist Church, American soldiers in Iraq have begun distributing coins to the locals that bear the message that Jesus Christ is the way to salvation.

Landover Church members know that True Christians are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to ensure the freedom of Americans at home by fighting the terrorists "over there." For example, Sgt. "Noodle" Samuels, a True Christian™ working on a top-secret intelligence team in Iraq, was lost to enemy fire late last year. While one can question her judgment in taking on a man's job, nobody can doubt her patriotism or her dedication to Jesus and the Landover Baptist Church.

The Coins for Jesus program shows that we are dedicated not only to protecting the US from the evils of Islam, but also to supporting the people who struggle every day under the oppresion of the Mullahs in Iraq. Army Chaplain, Captain Walter "Oscar" Meyer, the communications liason for the covert program, said of the coin distribution, "We could have spent the money on food or schools or clothing for the millions of displaced and unemployed Iraqis, but what is more important, one more day of survival here on Earth, or an eternity of happiness in Heaven? We know we made the right call."