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-   -   Looking to be saved (former sodomite) (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=119655)

Joharis Henderson 12-20-2021 04:18 AM

Looking to be saved (former sodomite)
 
Hello True Christians™ of the internet. I came across this Godly™ website and was excited to join God’s Favorite Church as a redeemed Sodomite. I have renounced the disgusting lifestyle of faggotry and accepted Lord Jesus as my truest Daddy. I have hence had 3 beautiful boys with statuesque and angelic bodies. Praise God.

I am currently a member of New Destiny Church, in New Sodom (ie Orlando, FL) where Donald Trump’s (God bless him) favorite Pastoress Paula White (the honorary male) presides.

My favorite quote of the KJV (1611) Bible is of course James 5:14 “ Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord”. This keeps in mind that I was a disgusting, AIDS-ridden, boy piffleing , Sodomite. Yet thanks to True Christians Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord”.

Dr. Anthony J. Toole 12-20-2021 04:55 PM

Re: Looking to be saved (former sodomite)
 
The last sentence seems to have lost all hope of being grammatically correct. Letting that go, welcome to the LBC. I hope you find what Jesus wants for you here. Tell us more about the boy piffleing.

The Attention Seeker Jen 12-20-2021 04:57 PM

Re: Looking to be saved (former sodomite)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Joharis Henderson (Post 1292582)
I have hence had 3 beautiful boys with statuesque and angelic bodies.



That sounds like an oxymormon to me - That's like describing myself as lithely Rubenesque.

Dr. Anthony J. Toole 12-20-2021 05:33 PM

Re: Looking to be saved (former sodomite)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by The Attention Seeker Jen (Post 1292594)
That sounds like an oxymormon to me - That's like describing myself as lithely Rubenesque.

Fortunately this thread isn't anything to do with you so you don't have to stress about it.

Dr. Anthony J. Toole 12-21-2021 08:09 AM

Re: Looking to be saved (former sodomite)
 
Joharis...? Did you forget your password? Tell us about "the boys". Gosh darn, the LBC welcome mat must be wearing thin.

Isabella White 12-21-2021 02:18 PM

Re: Looking to be saved (former sodomite)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Joharis Henderson (Post 1292582)
Hello True Christians™ of the internet. I came across this Godly™ website and was excited to join God’s Favorite Church as a redeemed Sodomite. I have renounced the disgusting lifestyle of faggotry and accepted Lord Jesus as my truest Daddy. I have hence had 3 beautiful boys with statuesque and angelic bodies. Praise God.

I am currently a member of New Destiny Church, in New Sodom (ie Orlando, FL) where Donald Trump’s (God bless him) favorite Pastoress Paula White (the honorary male) presides.

My favorite quote of the KJV (1611) Bible is of course James 5:14 “ Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord”. This keeps in mind that I was a disgusting, AIDS-ridden, boy piffleing , Sodomite. Yet thanks to True Christians Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord”.

:welcome-flowers: to :landover-fancy:, dear Mr. Henderson! We are so pleased to have you with us. Thank you very much for your interesting introductory message. It's so good to know that you have forsaken the pleasures of sin and debauchery, and that you are walking with the :lord-fancy: :jesus-fancy: daily.

I am sure that you will find much here to strengthen your faith in Almighty :god-fancy:. I should note that we read only the blessed :kjv1611:, as we have no time for those other watered-down versions of scripture.

Please, do feel free to browse through our many relevant forums here. Undoubtedly, you will meet many :true-fancy: servants of :jesus-fancy: here, and all are more than happy to help you to serve :god-fancy: truthfully and effectively.

May the :lord-fancy: bless you, Dear; as you seek :him-fancy: — here, at :forum-fancy:.

MitzaLizalor 12-23-2021 10:16 AM

Re: Looking to be saved (former sodomite)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole (Post 1292634)
Joharis...? Did you forget your password? Tell us about "the boys". Gosh darn, the LBC welcome mat must be wearing thin.

https://www.landoverbaptist.net/imag.../firedevil.gif Demons are very active in these last days.


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