Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

I think that this is exactly why we are doing this assessment. Here we have a heathen trying to "interpret" a technically substandard piece of "art" that is obviously and deeply deficient in all aspects Godly and Holy. It promotes syncretism - one of the most dangerous and abhorrent phenomena of our times together with sodomy. A totally unacceptable sordid picture as pointed out above by Mr. Farmer. Indeed, it is open to many other interpretations of which the violent nature of Buddhism is the most obvious one.:angry: Useless and risky - perhaps pastors can laugh at this and find it mildly funny?

There's, however, worse to be found. Take of look at THIS:
http://i475.photobucket.com/albums/r...ldandJesus.jpg

1. Very skillfully crafted, realistic, deeply emotional. My compliments to the artist for his (cannot have been a woman) mastery of the craftsmanship!
2. Biblically initially alluring. Jesus weeps - of course He does. Zephaniah 3:7 "I said, Surely thou wilt fear me, thou wilt receive instruction; so their dwelling should not be cut off, howsoever I punished them: but they rose early, and corrupted all their doings." There is ample reason for Jesus to sob. But then - the round Earth. Blasphemy :fear2: (Isaiah 11:12)! And of the worst kind. This is gateway drug to SCIENCE (1 Timothy 6:20). Once you start accepting "little things" you cannot stop. Soon it's evil lotion, intersexuality, ecology and eventually sodomy.
3. Useless unless shown to a Creation Science class of the highest level for light entertainment and laughs.
4. Very risky. Children should not be exposed to this type of merciless propaganda against Jesus!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer :bye:

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

Brother, I found this print online and I'm about to order some for my children's bedrooms. I find the more they are aware of the End Times, the more cautious they are in their behavior with the time they have left. I'd love to hear your opinion about this piece. I think it's just lovely, myself.

http://36.media.tumblr.com/71d8e3c08...pkmyo1_500.jpg

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

Sister Mary,

It is my pleasure to assist you with an analysis.

1. Craftsmanship and general quality
I must say that this is of average quality. Good commercial skills but not great technically. While adult True Christians™ may find this somewhat naïve, I'm sure that this is most appropriate regarding the mental state of unsaved children.

2. Compatibility with the Bible
Magnificent. Great references to Revelation.

Revelation 6:1-8
3. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message
Immense potential. The unsuspecting child at the bottom MUST learn that it can be devoured ANY MOMENT by the wrath of God. God hates the child and the only way to win God's conditional love is to FEAR and to OBEY (Ecclesiastes 5:7). The world can end ANY SECOND and the omens are as we speak above the child. The image is of great value as deterrence. It is good if they see this their every waking hour. These hours should be spent in fear, punishment and gratitude for the magnificent future in heaven.

4. Potential risks of the image
The child is sitting on a toy horse and this causes friction between the eeny teeny geenitalia and the surface of the horse. This can cause unnecessary physical pleasure and lead to self-abuse. It is best to watch carefully that the child will not get sodomistic impulses from this otherwise superb piece of Christian art!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer :bye:

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

http://payload49.cargocollective.com...0panel_800.jpg

Professor White, I wanted to share with you this moving recreation of Cain and Abel, by artist Matthew Benedict. The story recounts the First Murder ever in history as dictated by the Holy Ghost to Moses who wrote it down accurately some years later (Genesis 4:1-25).

I like it because watching Cain murder Abel reminds me how the Jews crucified Jesus, who was innocent of any and all sin. The evil of the Jew is great, like the weight of that rock. The vulnerability of the LORD was great, like the vulnerability of an uneducated shepherd sleeping in a field. The curse God placed on Cain (Genesis 4:11), and subsequently his entire family tree (Genesis 9:25), reminds me of the curse God placed on Eve, and subsequently every woman who ever lived and survived to childbirth (Genesis 3:16). Neither of us, Cain's desendents or woman, are deserving on Redemption, and yet still we might hope that in faith, we too may be counted among the Saved.

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

Sister Mary,

What a magnificent piece of art. It is always an honor to assess your findings!

1. Craftsmanship and general quality
This is very well painted. I especially admire the anatomical accuracy of the musculature of both these two men. In addition, the strength that Cain exhibits may seem superhuman from today's point of view, but we have to remember that genetic entropy had not had time to affect the human race by the second generation, so Cain's capabilities are well within the Biblical frame.

2. Compatibility with the Bible
While we cannot be certain of the method of slaying his brother, we can still give the artist some liberties when it comes to the actual act of killing. Thus, I accept the boulder as the murder weapon.

Genesis 4:8
And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.

3. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message
This is most useful. For the inquiring child it offers the sense of wonder and awe: the Bible is magnificent and the True Histories™ within it rousing and inspiring. For the Creation Scientist this is a good way to teach the congregation about genetic entropy.

4. Potential risks of the image
Homers may find this image alluring. I would recommend admiring it in the presence of a Senior Pastor.Yours in Christ,

Elmer :bye:

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

Here are two of my favorites.

1. The Destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah by John Martin, 1852.
http://www.pbart.com/wp-content/uplo...n-Martin-1.jpg

i. Craftsmanship and general quality
Excellent. Martin was one of Britain's foremost nineteenth-century artists, and his influence continued long after his death.

ii. Compatibility with the Bible
Spot on. Here we see Lot leading his daughters, who would later take advantage of him when he was drunk (Gen 19:30-38), away from Sodom (Gen 19:15-16) as the Lord rained down fire and brimstone (Gen 19:24-25). His wife, however, looks back and is turned into a pillar of salt (Gen 19:26).

iii. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message
This painting conveys a simple yet timeless message: God hates fags (Lev 18:22; 20:13; Rom 1:26-27). The male inhabitants of Sodom were all homosexual and attempted to rape the two angels God had sent to check the city out (Gen 19:1-11). The New Testament reminds us that the story of Sodom and Gomorrah is an example for unbelievers today.

2 Pet 2:6 And turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrha into ashes condemned them with an overthrow, making them an ensample unto those that after should live ungodly;

Jude 1:7 Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

iv. Potential risks of the image
I don't see any risks associated with this image.

2. The Deluge by Gustav Dore, 1866.
Attachment 24674

i. Craftsmanship and general quality
Not bad, although it originally appeared as an illustration in a corrupt French version of the Bible based on the Vulgate.

ii. Compatibility with the Bible
While the Bible doesn't contain descriptions of the ungodly trying desperately to cling on to anything they could to survive, I think we can safely assume that there would have been scenes like this. We do know that the Flood was an historical event that wiped out all living creatures save Noah, his family and the animals aboard the Ark.

Gen 7:21-23
21 And all flesh died that moved upon the earth, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of beast, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth, and every man:
22 All in whose nostrils was the breath of life, of all that was in the dry land, died.
23 And every living substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground, both man, and cattle, and the creeping things, and the fowl of the heaven; and they were destroyed from the earth: and Noah only remained alive, and they that were with him in the ark.

This illustration reminds us that even children and baby animals were not spared.

We also know that the Flood was worldwide. It was not a local event, as some lliberal "Christians" would have us believe.

Gen 7:19-20
19 And the waters prevailed exceedingly upon the earth; and all the high hills, that were under the whole heaven, were covered.
20 Fifteen cubits upward did the waters prevail; and the mountains were covered.

In this illustration we see a tiger from Africa sharing a rock with Caucasians trying to escape the rising waters. This illustration may not be compatible with geography, but it is compatible with the Bible. It depicts a global Flood.

We also know that all animals (and humans) were herbivorous at the time of the Flood (Gen 9:1-17).

Gen 1:29-30
29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.
30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.

This is why the tiger in the illustration isn't trying to eat the people on the rock or attack them. Animals only began to fear man after the Flood.

Gen 9:2 And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast of the earth, and upon every fowl of the air, upon all that moveth upon the earth, and upon all the fishes of the sea; into your hand are they delivered.

iii. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message
As with the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, the story of Noah's Flood still has relevance today.

Mat 24:37-39
37 But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.
38 For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark,
39 And knew not until the flood came, and took them all away; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.

This illustration reminds us of the might and extent of God's wrath. He destroyed the earth with water once. He will destroy it again with fire.

2 Pet 3:10 But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.

iv. Potential risks of the image
For some reason all the people in this illustration have lost their clothes. This illustration is certainly not suitable for the viewing of women and children and weak ex-gay men who may still struggle with unnatural affections.

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

Adorable Jesus

Might not be here, might not...

if not go here: *** deleted ***

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

From experience I have learned that no image of the Buddha can exist without a subliminal reference to anal sex. Knowing this, I decided to inspect this image and free my mind from the subliminal shackles of sodomy which the artist attempted to place me in. I learned that the angle of the Buddha's hips, and his virile disposition, are meant to implicate the penetration of both Christ and the cow, by means of his massive engorged member which is nearly visible through his robes. Disgusting.

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

Brethren,

I initially introduced this systematic method of art assessment based on four Godly criteria:

1. Craftsmanship and general quality
2. Compatibility with the Bible
3. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message
4. Potential risks of the image

I'd now like to add an important new criterion based on the historical developments during the last few months. Subject matter.

1 Corinthians 14:32
And the spirits of the prophets are subject to the prophets.

As we now have new-found hope and - dare I say - the new and probably the last great prophet before the End of Times, it is only appropriate that great art has been produced depicting HIM. We've seen earlier that nor does Satan fail to meddle, as atheist demonic art has also been produced modelling this great person. We need not reproduce those vile images here. Let us concentrate on real high-quality artwork instead! :)

https://static.ylilauta.org/files/qc...val-Office.jpg

1. Craftsmanship and general quality

• Excellent proficiency of the visual art techniques. The background decorations are first class and obviously the subject matter is wonderful.

2. Compatibility with the Bible

• This conveys perfectly the Christian message of Great Kings and Great Prophets.
• Luke 7:26 - But what went ye out for to see? A prophet? Yea, I say unto you, and much more than a prophet.
• Verily, much more than a prophet. The Leader of the Free World and a Personal Friend of Christ, our Lord.

3. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message

• Very useful, shows in glory the man we should follow and revere. This leads children to obedience and subjugation.
• Romans 5:19 - For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous.

4. Potential risks of the image

• I can see quite a few True Christian™ women falling behind in their domestic chores as they'll spend hours before this image admiring and contemplating it.

Second painting. This one is initially confusing but do not let your prejudices regarding modern art (this one is impressionist abstract pop-art surrealism) distract you. Let us give this piece an unbiased assessment!

http://bijijoo.com/blog/hyrax/2011/0...gs-bijijoo.jpg

1. Craftsmanship and general quality

• Again, very skilled albeit not with quite as much virtuosity as in the first image.

2. Compatibility with the Bible

• Many critics have taken this piece as criticism targeted at the Donald. That is a mistake. This image is extremely Biblical. First of all, it associates the Donald with nutritive items of processed meats. You may ask where the message is. I say, this is the message:
• Matthew 4:4 - But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.
• Verily, not bread alone. We also need a Godly message. The Donald can provide us with that message. Of course, in addition to bread we also need processed meats (Genesis 9:3) which is taken into account in a delightful manner in this great piece of art!

3. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message

• Extremely useful by emphasizing the significance of the Word of God in the midst of gluttony and processed meats.

4. Potential risks of the image

• I can see quite a few True Christian™ women falling behind in their domestic chores as they'll spend hours before this image admiring and contemplating it.

I am utterly convinced that many more wonderful works of art, not only in the field of visual arts but also in the opera, theater, pantomime, weaving, comics and cinema. All the artists will soon take on the Donald as the subject matter and produce magnificent works that will lead millions into the warm embrace of Jesus!

:praise:


Yours in Christ,

Elmer :bye:

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

That picture is absolutely sickening.

1st: 1 Cor 11:14 - "Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?"

Your picture dishonors Jesus, because it depicts him with long hair.

2nd: Proverbs 23:20-21 - "Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of flesh: For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags."

Your picture also shows Jesus associating with a known glutton (Buddha). There is no way our Lord and master would tolerate such gluttony.

3rd: God hates false Gods and demons! Exodus 20:3 - “You shall have no other gods before me." That picture has the blue Indian demon god Krushna in it. Despicable.

In short, that picture is an abomination, and the artist that created it will burn in hell forever.

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

If I may recommend:
Deviantart

I know many here believe the site is filled with satanic-drawings and lots of porn, but if you search the right words, you'll find a nice selection of pictures fit with Jesus and possibly journals with passages of the Bible.

You just have to search the correct key terms to find what you're looking for. :)

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

What I don't understand is why anyone would take such risks. Let's say I'm looking on this deviant web site for pictures of my glorious LORD, oh, say reposing to the music of all creation, animal and vegetable, praising His name, or maybe basking in the sweet aroma of the burning flesh of one of these praising, four-legged creatures (Numbers 29:2), and inadvertently stumble upon the image of a greasy-haired ruffian having his way with some startled farm animal instead. Certainly I can't be blamed for seeing this image for it was not my intent, but that makes no difference when considering the effect of such an event. Whether or not this trauma is accidental is of no consequence to the fact that Jesus, Who sees everything I see, will have exposure to such a violent act of barnyard aggression. How can a good and loyal True Christian™ take such a chance at being the one to expose her very Savior, the One who suffered for an entire long weekend for her redemption, to such a horror? What an awful suggestion. It could only be born of a pervert who gets off on flashing his naughty bits to decent women and children for the thrill of virtual rape.

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

No no, it is a suggestion. Of course, I would help out by looking for you for approval of some pictures made, but I did and I seemed to get called out on it.
I am willing to take a risk of looking through any fowl photos to find something decent. I just wish people would give me a chance.

I actually have earlier on and I found some very nice pictures and drawings that I thought would have been favored by some if not all of the Christians here.
I do agree as there are quite a few mocking/horrible pictures showing awful things. But believe it or not, there are some good things on there but the hard part is looking through the bad.

My apologies as I had not thoroughly explained my thought. That is my fault.


I do try to see the light in most things, as that is my nature so if I continue to try and defend something, I do apologize even more.

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

Just stop with the trying to slip pics of your big red cock into this forum. :nono:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
http://64.71.133.195/arfcom/mycock.jpg

They should go straight to Zeke's inbox.

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

Ok for one, I am a girl. If I ever had one, I would feel way to shy to actually post any kind of pictures like THAT..

And two: You made me chuckle with the chicken picture... thank you for that.

Also, how do you know not to trust me if you haven't given me a chance?
I'm trying to be helpful and you push me away I'm TRYING here!!!

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

No one wants or needs your help. Why? Because you are utterly useless. But I am fairly sure you know that already.

Fortunately Jesus is here to help you! He knows all of us are useless (Romans 3:23, Romans 3:10). He knows almost everyone will fail at life and burn in Hell (Matthew 7:13-14). All Jesus want's you to do is to cut off the parts of your body you use for sinning (Matthew 5:29-30, Mark 9:43-48). In your case I am thinking tongue and hands. Please chop them off as God commands (Mark 9:43-48) and then report back here.

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

But not enough. Your "offer" to look through yards and yards of perverted pencil drawings of engorged sin is so upsetting to me that I've been sick since reading your post. My poor children have been cleaning up vomit all day, in addition to their home schooling, copying the Holy Bible, preparing for AWANIS, and changing the diapers of our elderly silver tither members of the church who are homebound until Jesus personally comes to retrieve their souls from their wrinkly, disgusting bodies. I find you to be a rude, uncharitable contributor to our forums, and pray you will look deeply into your own decrepit soul to find the sin that keeps you from Jesus' favor.

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

Fine fine. If you must...

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

Isn´t this something you should do, James 5:16? May I then suggest you read Ephesians 5:1-33.

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 

I'm more curious how you got the name 'Obese Swedish Meatball'