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Elmer G. White 10-06-2014 03:38 AM

The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Fellow True Believers™! We often emphasize our writings and essays with appropriate visual material. Many historical studies, our research on creation science and parenting benefit from well-placed artwork that helps the heathen and our children to unravel the Godly message. And what could be more fun than seeing a nice vision of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior in a birthday thread!

All this is fun and useful - but perilous if we are careless. When one views a nice picture, admires its craftsmanship and the lovely face of Jesus, it is not always easy to notice the subtle messages that are actually from SATAN: the false Christian teachings, the contradictions with the literal interpretation of the Bible, the possible ways to peril and damnation! I am not blaming anyone in particular here, as I myself have been using these images that can be found in the Interwebs quite often.

Due to all this, I suggest that we discuss and assess Jesus imagery together if we are in doubt. Many pieces of nice artwork can lead the unsuspecting mind of women and unsaved children to HELL unless we point out the discrepancies, the demonic aspects of an apparently innocent picture. The features to assess would, in my honest and unbiased opinion, include several aspects as follows:
1. Craftsmanship and general quality
2. Compatibility with the Bible
3. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message
4. Potential risks of the image
I have here some examples. Take THIS picture, for instance:
http://eborg3.com/Graphics/Jesus/Jes...-Heaven-12.jpghttp://www.goodsalt.com/view/jesus-w...-pppas0002.jpg

What a disgusting image.
1. Beautiful craftsmanship, the brushstrokes and powerful and the composition exquisite.
2. Totally and irrevocably incompatible with the Bible! This is a picture of Heaven, for God's sake. Dogs are WITHOUT (Revelation 22:15), and people need to repent and be baptized to be saved (Acts 2:38). I think that it is totally improbable that the children in the picture would be old enough to be able to repent. Lots of rod will have to administered on them before it is feasible (Proverbs 22:15).
3. Useless for the True Christian™ masses but can be used as a warning message at the highest levels of pastoral and Biblical study.
4. Many risks: gives unsaved children the false message that Jesus loves them!

Second example:
http://www.artsyhome.com/goodthumb.p...pg&w=570&h=427

1. Again, beautiful technical skills of the artist. Boldly modern composition but pleasing to the eye.
2. Much better Biblically. Jesus the mighty Savior on the cross and nice reference to Isaiah 11:6 and John 10:9. I'd say a tentative PASS for this image.
3. Can be used with relative safety.
4. Minor risks only, such as children asking why Jesus is blue on the cross.

And a final example:
http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/wp-c...05/dog_adp.png

1. Mediocre craftsmanship, a kind of a collage of painting and a photograph but that's what these modernists seem to like. I'll let it pass.
2. Biblically sound. When Rapture (1 Thessalonians 4:17) comes, soulless animals are left behind as it should be (Revelation 22:15).
3. Useful. This teaches women and children that animals have no souls, no feelings. They are tools to be used, not something you love.
4. Not many risks in this one. Can cause whining and protests from children but that can always be fixed (Proverbs 22:15).

There you have it. There is great potential for True Christian™ art criticism (this service could also be provided with a suitable cost). When in doubt about a picture's piousness, it usually isn't. If you still want to use it, you can ask your Brethren. If and when you find something truly rousing or truly devious, you can post it here as an example or as a warning for fellow Believers™.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer :bye:

Jim Farmer 10-06-2014 06:16 AM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
There are many symbols in Renaissance and Byzantine art that are quite recognisable. Not all of these symbols relate purely to the Bible, but have become traditional in Christian art. For instance, animals:

Wolf - symbolizes compassion and mercy. The wolf was used as the emblem for many early Saints including St. Francis of Assisi who is often shown with a wolf .
Ermine - symbolizes truth, fidelity, mischief making. Often associated with the aristocracy or royalty.
White Horse - a symbol of victory, conquest, goodness and invincibility. "And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. " -- Revelation 19:11
The ape symbolizes a lustful soul filled with sinful thoughts.
Cat - symbolizes shrewdness, treachery, trickery and watchfulness. Often associated with Satan, witchcraft or sorcery.
Winged ox - represents Luke the Evangelist, one of the four evangelist.
Ox - symbolizes strength, power, humility "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" Matt. 11:28
The Vulture epitomized greed, corruption and ruthless power.
The singing robin symbolizes deliverance from evil and God's holy mercy. A caged robin signifies removal from Gods holy grace.
Otters emblem of Saint Cuthbert, an Anglo-Saxon monk and hermit. He was a great animal lover who enacted the first laws to protect wildlife. Otters became his emblem after they rescued him from the drowning.
The Eagle is a symbol of Christ and of regeneration by baptism and also represents John the Evangelist, one of the four Evangelist. The eagle also the symbolizes the resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Winged lion - represents Mark the Evangelist, one of the four evangelist.
lion - a symbol of power, majesty, wisdom, tyranny, viciousness, dignity, and leadership. The lion represents both Jesus Christ as well as Satan, a wise king or a tyrant.
Camel emblem of Egyptian Saint Mennas. He was martyred by being thrown into a fire pit when he openly declared his Christian faith.
lamb - symbolizes humility, peace, and innocence. The lamb represents Christ as the Lamb, and also Christians as the flock.
Dolphin - sign of the resurrection and symbolizes Christ guiding Christians to heaven.
Goat - symbol of Satan. Satan is often depicted as a horned and hoofed goat-like creature.
Unicorn, a symbol of purity, harmony, the arrival of Spring. Since the Middle Ages the unicorn was a symbol of chastity and innocence, it was believed that a unicorn could only be tamed by a virgin's gentle stroke.
Pig - symbolizes material desires, excess and self-indulgence. The pig is also the emblem of Saint Antony of Egypt
Dog - a symbol of loyalty, openness, dependability and fidelity
Cow emblem of St Perpetua who was gored to death by an enraged cow in the a 3rd-century when she was thrown in the arena of Carthage.
Bull emblem of Thomas Aquinas
Snake - symbolizes Satan; the presence of evil, fall of man, devil
A snake brazenly slithering across the middle of a thoroughfare or road - symbolizing the False Prophet leading the way to hell.
A devious serpent peeking out of a basket, urn or pot - a spiritual reminder of Satan's presence in unusual places.
Bear emblem of St. Seraphim of Sarov. During his life as reclusive monk stayed in the forest and fed and befriended many animals including a bear.
Swan symbolizes purity and is also the emblem of Saint Hugh of Lincoln. he was a great animal lover and as well as caretaker to lepers. A swan he befriended fowled him around and kept watch of him as he slept.

Witch Hammer 10-06-2014 06:28 AM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
http://www.myconfinedspace.com/wp-co....thumbnail.jpg
This is one of my personal favorites. I have a framed print of it hanging in the foyer, as a matter of fact.

1. The masterful combination of fine brush strokes and dynamic juxtaposition of light and shadow really make The Savior POP!! However, His hair and eyes should have been painted a few shades blonder and bluer, respectively.

2. Jesus is a bad-@$$. He is known to have verbally and physically assaulted sinners and idiots, to have vandalized private property, to have destroyed lesser life forms in a fit of rage and to have ordered His disciples to steal livestock. All justifiable acts, for He is God. See Matthew 21 for some examples.

3. The message here is that Christ is sick of taking crap off of sinners. This should lay to rest any fluffy-bunny notions of a kindly, all-loving Jesus. If you you don't get right with Him ASAP, you'll get the ultimate brush-off!

4. There is no risk here. This is our Lord in His Natural Glory...if atheists, sinners and false- Christians don't like it, they can go to hell!

Witch Hammer 10-06-2014 06:42 AM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
http://eborg3.com/Graphics/Jesus/Jes...-Heaven-12.jpg
Brother Elmer, the inclusion of negroes and females in this painting also makes me feel that it is an inaccurate representation of Heaven...

Jim C. Lombardo 10-06-2014 12:23 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Now, I won't profess myself to be a culture vulture of any kind, in fact, I'm just a regular ol' Philistine, so any art experts here, enlighten me. :)

I stumbled across this heart-warming depiction of our Savior in what would be an accurate vision of Him walking among us. In fact, I'll bet you could spot Him at any outback gas station here in the Good Ol' USA! ;)

http://dwspodcast.com/wp-content/upl...rado_f_002.jpg

1. It looks pretty good to me! I take it this is what they call Impressionism, as it gives a full impression of the Lord's Blessed Nature. :innocent:
2. He uncannily evokes Psalm 45:2 in the fairness of His sweet Looks, any TC lady would swoon upon seeing this painting, and mistake it for their SAVIOR'S Return!
3. The message of this painting is that Our Lord is a Good American Boy at heart and He would be so if spotted today!
4. The tattoo might suggest Jesus having gang-ties.

Father Maurice Lester 10-06-2014 01:17 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
My oh my.

Landroverians discussing 'art' is a bit like a bag full of hungry Gerbils debating the whereabouts of dark matter in competing Latvian dialects.

Christian iconography in art is a fascinating and complex topic that must be prefaced with a fundamental understanding of the transition from paganism to Christianity in the traditional lands of the Mediterranean from the time of Constantine up through the Renaissance.

Within this context one can start to trace both the emergence of new materials and techniques in addition to the enlightened encouragement of The Holy Roman Church which drove both the development of Religious art and Music.

As I am certain there are not enough really small words to get any of this across to the present audience, I would suggest the locals stick with the sparkle and Unicorn airbrushing styles popular with taste-challeneged decorators all over middle America.

Talk like this reminds of the the Baptwit tourist who, while visiting The Sistine Chapel, told his wife that he and his brother could have painted the entire ceiling in just a few days with a roller and a bakers scaffold. This is why you folks cannot have nice things.





Bless you, my Botticelli-butt bamboshists,
Father Mo




.

Zechariah Smyth 10-06-2014 02:10 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
1 Attachment(s)
Quote:

Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester (Post 1113621)
something about butts

:facepalm:

You want to know how goofy the catlicks are? They have a painting by a guy named Raffi that has Rocky "Sylvester" Stallone in it!

Attachment 23701

:lol:

How GAY is that?

Yours in Christ (NOT RAMBO),

Zech

Elmer G. White 10-06-2014 02:13 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim C. Lombardo (Post 1113619)
Now, I won't profess myself to be a culture vulture of any kind, in fact, I'm just a regular ol' Philistine, so any art experts here, enlighten me. :)

I stumbled across this heart-warming depiction of our Savior in what would be an accurate vision of Him walking among us. In fact, I'll bet you could spot Him at any outback gas station here in the Good Ol' USA! ;)


1. It looks pretty good to me! I take it this is what they call Impressionism, as it gives a full impression of the Lord's Blessed Nature. :innocent:
2. He uncannily evokes Psalm 45:2 in the fairness of His sweet Looks, any TC lady would swoon upon seeing this painting, and mistake it for their SAVIOR'S Return!
3. The message of this painting is that Our Lord is a Good American Boy at heart and He would be so if spotted today!
4. The tattoo might suggest Jesus having gang-ties.

Mr. Lombardo,

While I mostly agree with your analysis, I would like to add an important point. I certainly support your unwritten notion that Jesus our Savior as God is ABOVE the Biblical commandments. Our children, however, are not. Thus, it would be beneficial if not altogether necessary to remind fellow art-lovers of...

...Leviticus 19:28 - Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I [am] the LORD.

Jesus can do what He wants, perhaps have tattoos even, but we cannot. Perhaps the viewing of this image of yours should be restricted to saved True Christian™ men?

However, your post emphasizes the need to discuss art in an unbiased, True Christian™ manner.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer:bye:

Elmer G. White 10-06-2014 02:22 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester (Post 1113621)
My oh my.

Landroverians discussing 'art' is a bit like a bag full of hungry Gerbils debating the whereabouts of dark matter in competing Latvian dialects.

Christian iconography in art is a fascinating and complex topic that must be prefaced with a fundamental understanding of the transition from paganism to Christianity in the traditional lands of the Mediterranean from the time of Constantine up through the Renaissance.

Within this context one can start to trace both the emergence of new materials and techniques in addition to the enlightened encouragement of The Holy Roman Church which drove both the development of Religious art and Music.

As I am certain there are not enough really small words to get any of this across to the present audience, I would suggest the locals stick with the sparkle and Unicorn airbrushing styles popular with taste-challeneged decorators all over middle America.

Talk like this reminds of the the Baptwit tourist who, while visiting The Sistine Chapel, told his wife that he and his brother could have painted the entire ceiling in just a few days with a roller and a bakers scaffold. This is why you folks cannot have nice things.
Bless you, my Botticelli-butt bamboshists,
Father Mo
.

Oh, dear. It's the spokesperson of the extremely elitist episcopate, the self-nominated jack-off of all trades...:wacko: oh, how the Sixteenth Chapel would benefit from a crew of sturdy young True Christian™ men and some white paint. A Tabula rasa, a new beginning for the papist imagery. And that would leave only the first fifteen chapels to be redecorated. For cat licks, as our papist impostor explains, the value of art is in Tradition (who could have guessed :D?), money, pomp and circumstance. Very well, an analysis:

http://www.sinj.com/14/images/michel...-judgement.jpg
Mary-worship. Not Biblical. Never mind the technique. It's the content that matters. And destroys any chance of the above being great art. :angry:

Deuteronomy 29:17
And ye have seen their abominations, and their idols, wood and stone, silver and gold, which were among them.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer :bye:

Mary Etheldreda 10-06-2014 03:51 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Farmer (Post 1113593)
There are many symbols in Renaissance and Byzantine art that are quite recognisable. Not all of these symbols relate purely to the Bible, but have become traditional in Christian art. For instance, animals:

Wolf - symbolizes compassion and mercy. The wolf was used as the emblem for many early Saints including St. Francis of Assisi who is often shown with a wolf .
Ermine - symbolizes truth, fidelity, mischief making. Often associated with the aristocracy or royalty.
White Horse - a symbol of victory, conquest, goodness and invincibility. "And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. " -- Revelation 19:11
The ape symbolizes a lustful soul filled with sinful thoughts.
Cat - symbolizes shrewdness, treachery, trickery and watchfulness. Often associated with Satan, witchcraft or sorcery.
Winged ox - represents Luke the Evangelist, one of the four evangelist.
Ox - symbolizes strength, power, humility "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" Matt. 11:28
The Vulture epitomized greed, corruption and ruthless power.
The singing robin symbolizes deliverance from evil and God's holy mercy. A caged robin signifies removal from Gods holy grace.
Otters emblem of Saint Cuthbert, an Anglo-Saxon monk and hermit. He was a great animal lover who enacted the first laws to protect wildlife. Otters became his emblem after they rescued him from the drowning.
The Eagle is a symbol of Christ and of regeneration by baptism and also represents John the Evangelist, one of the four Evangelist. The eagle also the symbolizes the resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Winged lion - represents Mark the Evangelist, one of the four evangelist.
lion - a symbol of power, majesty, wisdom, tyranny, viciousness, dignity, and leadership. The lion represents both Jesus Christ as well as Satan, a wise king or a tyrant.
Camel emblem of Egyptian Saint Mennas. He was martyred by being thrown into a fire pit when he openly declared his Christian faith.
lamb - symbolizes humility, peace, and innocence. The lamb represents Christ as the Lamb, and also Christians as the flock.
Dolphin - sign of the resurrection and symbolizes Christ guiding Christians to heaven.
Goat - symbol of Satan. Satan is often depicted as a horned and hoofed goat-like creature.
Unicorn, a symbol of purity, harmony, the arrival of Spring. Since the Middle Ages the unicorn was a symbol of chastity and innocence, it was believed that a unicorn could only be tamed by a virgin's gentle stroke.
Pig - symbolizes material desires, excess and self-indulgence. The pig is also the emblem of Saint Antony of Egypt
Dog - a symbol of loyalty, openness, dependability and fidelity
Cow emblem of St Perpetua who was gored to death by an enraged cow in the a 3rd-century when she was thrown in the arena of Carthage.
Bull emblem of Thomas Aquinas
Snake - symbolizes Satan; the presence of evil, fall of man, devil
A snake brazenly slithering across the middle of a thoroughfare or road - symbolizing the False Prophet leading the way to hell.
A devious serpent peeking out of a basket, urn or pot - a spiritual reminder of Satan's presence in unusual places.
Bear emblem of St. Seraphim of Sarov. During his life as reclusive monk stayed in the forest and fed and befriended many animals including a bear.
Swan symbolizes purity and is also the emblem of Saint Hugh of Lincoln. he was a great animal lover and as well as caretaker to lepers. A swan he befriended fowled him around and kept watch of him as he slept.

Interesting compilation, Mr. Farmer. I'm curious why you've chosen to reference a pagan source (St Perpetua?). The Catholic church, being the Whore of Babylon, is rich with pagan references to the Triune God (or should I say, the Quatrune God, as they incorporate Mary as one of the "Four Persons of God").

In any case, I wouldn't trust their references simply for the fact you can catch Homosexuality from Catholics. They gladly open the (back) door to Gay Demon Infestation through their art. You'll notice Michelangelo, Gay, painted their most important piece using only naked men as inspiration. I show these here only because we are protected from such demons with our JesOS supernaturally protected software, lovingly created by Pastor Isaac Peters and the Holy Ghost Himself.

Male body, female breasts?
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/23...c353184ea8.jpg

"My, what nice deltoids you've got," said no man to a woman, ever.
http://artmodel.files.wordpress.com/...ljpg.jpg?w=474

Body of a construction worker, face of a hag.
http://artmodel.files.wordpress.com/...gelo.jpg?w=474

Michelangelo forgot to paste the breasts on Eve, instead painting the homosexual couples so common in papist society.
http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/ar.../28887.jpg?v=1

Jim C. Lombardo 10-06-2014 07:40 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Elmer G. White (Post 1113630)
Mr. Lombardo,

While I mostly agree with your analysis, I would like to add an important point. I certainly support your unwritten notion that Jesus our Savior as God is ABOVE the Biblical commandments. Our children, however, are not. Thus, it would be beneficial if not altogether necessary to remind fellow art-lovers of...

...Leviticus 19:28 - Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I [am] the LORD.

This certainly damns all those self-proclaimed Christian biker hippies. Not that that is any surprise. Sadly, I know some real Earnest ones. Someone should warn them so that they can get their tats un-anaesthetically cut off with a regular box knife! :thumbsup:

Father Maurice Lester 10-06-2014 07:49 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth (Post 1113628)
:facepalm:

You want to know how goofy the catlicks are? They have a painting by a guy named Raffi that has Rocky "Sylvester" Stallone in it!

Attachment 23701


Oddly enough, up until his recent legal troubles, a famous American footballer and devout Bapwit had a low-ball offer to buy this very piece! He claimed it called out to him but then so do a dozen children he has from numerous women.:D


Peterson as I recall his name... ADRIAN Peterson. You guys are responsible for more more belly laughs in the Vatican Halls than the re-runs of Father Ted.




Bless you, my Nathan Greenehorns,
Father Mo




.

Jim C. Lombardo 10-06-2014 07:52 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Hey Mo Lester,

You are disrupting the sophisticated nature of this thread. Your posts and you in general.

Yours,
Jim

Jim Farmer 10-06-2014 08:44 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda (Post 1113643)
Interesting compilation, Mr. Farmer. I'm curious why you've chosen to reference a pagan source (St Perpetua?). The Catholic church, being the Whore of Babylon, is rich with pagan references to the Triune God (or should I say, the Quatrune God, as they incorporate Mary as one of the "Four Persons of God").

In any case, I wouldn't trust their references simply for the fact you can catch Homosexuality from Catholics. They gladly open the (back) door to Gay Demon Infestation through their art. You'll notice Michelangelo, Gay, painted their most important piece using only naked men as inspiration. I show these here only because we are protected from such demons with our JesOS supernaturally protected software, lovingly created by Pastor Isaac Peters and the Holy Ghost Himself.

Indeed Mrs Etheldreda. My post was pre-empting that of the papist - pointing out that much religious iconography isn't Christian at all, but pagan and papist, with no Biblical basis.

Mary Etheldreda 10-06-2014 08:46 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Farmer (Post 1113675)
Indeed Mrs Etheldreda. My post was pre-empting that of the papist - pointing out that much religious iconography isn't Christian at all, but pagan and papist, with no Biblical basis.

That probably explains why Brother Elmer finds so many Biblically errant works of art - they must be inspired by the ignorant papists who are as Biblically clueless as the Methodists.

:giggle:

Jim Farmer 10-06-2014 08:51 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Exactly. This one for instance that shows dogs in Heaven, where the papists regard dogs as a symbol of loyalty, openness, dependability and fidelity. Completely Biblically incorrect and therefore heretical, but the papists wouldn't understand that.
http://eborg3.com/Graphics/Jesus/Jes...-Heaven-12.jpg

Joanna Lytton-Vasey 10-06-2014 09:14 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
That picture is wrong in SO many ways: the filthy dog, the puppies (is the artist under the impression that dogs not only go to Heaven, but also breed there?) the children, the niglet. But worst of all is the depiction of Jesus, who looks nothing like Our Beloved Savior but very like Jeremy Irons playing a Jesuit priest in that abominable papist movie, The Mission.

Basilissa 10-07-2014 02:28 AM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey (Post 1113681)
That picture is wrong in SO many ways: the filthy dog, the puppies (is the artist under the impression that dogs not only go to Heaven, but also breed there?) the children, the niglet. But worst of all is the depiction of Jesus, who looks nothing like Our Beloved Savior but very like Jeremy Irons playing a Jesuit priest in that abominable papist movie, The Mission.

Everything that was said about this image is true, yet there is at least one good thing about it: :jesus-fancy: is surrounded by Godly White girls, while the non-white boy keeps his distance from the :lord-fancy:. I'm sure the dog is there to protect :jesus-fancy: just in case the boy goes on drugs and decides to attack Him. In fact, :jesus-fancy: is missing a gun on this picture, to be able to stand his ground and protect Himself and these innocent White girls. Girls understand that :jesus-fancy: is their only Savior from the wild savage, which is why they cling to Him/stand slightly behind Him, and avoid eye contact with the boy. The boy, in fact, seems to not be looking t the :lord-fancy:, but eying the innocent White girl standing in the back! :fear2:

Harsha Shah 10-07-2014 04:53 AM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Yes. Harsha Shah here. I wish to show you my favourite piece of artwork of Jesus.
http://data.whicdn.com/images/856140...d4_h_large.jpg
Yes, it is beautiful. Jesus is walking together with buddha, the holy cow and krishna and there are also statues of indigenous American peoples. The style is naive, I know, but not unlike that of Grandma Moses, a famous American painter. They are happy, they are respecting one another, yes! They are walking to the same direction, I am thinking, to human happiness. They have only a narrow bridge and beyond the bridge is the land of reconciliation of all faiths. And there is no big chasm, only a friendly brook to pass. All together for the common goal. I think jesus would have wanted this. Yes, he certainly would. This is very useful and I have been showing it at school to children who seem to understand it intuitively. Beautiful. Yes.

Jim Farmer 10-07-2014 06:56 AM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
That obese booda is about to shove Jesus (and the cow) into the river in an attempt to drown them. Booda is deliberately distracting Jesus in the hope he won't see the bridge or the river. (But booda forgets that Jesus can walk on water)

Elmer G. White 10-07-2014 07:29 AM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Harsha Shah (Post 1113724)
Yes. Harsha Shah here. I wish to show you my favourite piece of artwork of Jesus.

Yes, it is beautiful. Jesus is walking together with buddha, the holy cow and krishna and there are also statues of indigenous American peoples. The style is naive, I know, but not unlike that of Grandma Moses, a famous American painter. They are happy, they are respecting one another, yes! They are walking to the same direction, I am thinking, to human happiness. They have only a narrow bridge and beyond the bridge is the land of reconciliation of all faiths. And there is no big chasm, only a friendly brook to pass. All together for the common goal. I think jesus would have wanted this. Yes, he certainly would. This is very useful and I have been showing it at school to children who seem to understand it intuitively. Beautiful. Yes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Farmer (Post 1113731)
That obese booda is about to shove Jesus (and the cow) into the river in an attempt to drown them. Booda is deliberately distracting Jesus in the hope he won't see the bridge or the river. (But booda forgets that Jesus can walk on water)

I think that this is exactly why we are doing this assessment. Here we have a heathen trying to "interpret" a technically substandard piece of "art" that is obviously and deeply deficient in all aspects Godly and Holy. It promotes syncretism - one of the most dangerous and abhorrent phenomena of our times together with sodomy. A totally unacceptable sordid picture as pointed out above by Mr. Farmer. Indeed, it is open to many other interpretations of which the violent nature of Buddhism is the most obvious one.:angry: Useless and risky - perhaps pastors can laugh at this and find it mildly funny?

There's, however, worse to be found. Take of look at THIS:
http://i475.photobucket.com/albums/r...ldandJesus.jpg

1. Very skillfully crafted, realistic, deeply emotional. My compliments to the artist for his (cannot have been a woman) mastery of the craftsmanship!
2. Biblically initially alluring. Jesus weeps - of course He does. Zephaniah 3:7 "I said, Surely thou wilt fear me, thou wilt receive instruction; so their dwelling should not be cut off, howsoever I punished them: but they rose early, and corrupted all their doings." There is ample reason for Jesus to sob. But then - the round Earth. Blasphemy :fear2: (Isaiah 11:12)! And of the worst kind. This is gateway drug to SCIENCE (1 Timothy 6:20). Once you start accepting "little things" you cannot stop. Soon it's evil lotion, intersexuality, ecology and eventually sodomy.
3. Useless unless shown to a Creation Science class of the highest level for light entertainment and laughs.
4. Very risky. Children should not be exposed to this type of merciless propaganda against Jesus!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer :bye:

Mary Etheldreda 01-19-2015 11:18 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Brother, I found this print online and I'm about to order some for my children's bedrooms. I find the more they are aware of the End Times, the more cautious they are in their behavior with the time they have left. I'd love to hear your opinion about this piece. I think it's just lovely, myself.

http://36.media.tumblr.com/71d8e3c08...pkmyo1_500.jpg

Elmer G. White 01-20-2015 09:24 AM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda (Post 1130358)
Brother, I found this print online and I'm about to order some for my children's bedrooms. I find the more they are aware of the End Times, the more cautious they are in their behavior with the time they have left. I'd love to hear your opinion about this piece. I think it's just lovely, myself.

http://36.media.tumblr.com/71d8e3c08...pkmyo1_500.jpg

Sister Mary,

It is my pleasure to assist you with an analysis.

1. Craftsmanship and general quality
I must say that this is of average quality. Good commercial skills but not great technically. While adult True Christians™ may find this somewhat naďve, I'm sure that this is most appropriate regarding the mental state of unsaved children.

2. Compatibility with the Bible
Magnificent. Great references to Revelation.

Revelation 6:1-8
Quote:

And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer. And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword. And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine. And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
3. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message
Immense potential. The unsuspecting child at the bottom MUST learn that it can be devoured ANY MOMENT by the wrath of God. God hates the child and the only way to win God's conditional love is to FEAR and to OBEY (Ecclesiastes 5:7). The world can end ANY SECOND and the omens are as we speak above the child. The image is of great value as deterrence. It is good if they see this their every waking hour. These hours should be spent in fear, punishment and gratitude for the magnificent future in heaven.

4. Potential risks of the image
The child is sitting on a toy horse and this causes friction between the eeny teeny geenitalia and the surface of the horse. This can cause unnecessary physical pleasure and lead to self-abuse. It is best to watch carefully that the child will not get sodomistic impulses from this otherwise superb piece of Christian art!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer :bye:

Mary Etheldreda 05-11-2015 03:36 AM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
http://payload49.cargocollective.com...0panel_800.jpg

Professor White, I wanted to share with you this moving recreation of Cain and Abel, by artist Matthew Benedict. The story recounts the First Murder ever in history as dictated by the Holy Ghost to Moses who wrote it down accurately some years later (Genesis 4:1-25).

I like it because watching Cain murder Abel reminds me how the Jews crucified Jesus, who was innocent of any and all sin. The evil of the Jew is great, like the weight of that rock. The vulnerability of the LORD was great, like the vulnerability of an uneducated shepherd sleeping in a field. The curse God placed on Cain (Genesis 4:11), and subsequently his entire family tree (Genesis 9:25), reminds me of the curse God placed on Eve, and subsequently every woman who ever lived and survived to childbirth (Genesis 3:16). Neither of us, Cain's desendents or woman, are deserving on Redemption, and yet still we might hope that in faith, we too may be counted among the Saved.

Elmer G. White 05-11-2015 04:47 AM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Sister Mary,

What a magnificent piece of art. It is always an honor to assess your findings!

1. Craftsmanship and general quality
This is very well painted. I especially admire the anatomical accuracy of the musculature of both these two men. In addition, the strength that Cain exhibits may seem superhuman from today's point of view, but we have to remember that genetic entropy had not had time to affect the human race by the second generation, so Cain's capabilities are well within the Biblical frame.

2. Compatibility with the Bible
While we cannot be certain of the method of slaying his brother, we can still give the artist some liberties when it comes to the actual act of killing. Thus, I accept the boulder as the murder weapon.
Genesis 4:8
And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.
3. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message
This is most useful. For the inquiring child it offers the sense of wonder and awe: the Bible is magnificent and the True Histories™ within it rousing and inspiring. For the Creation Scientist this is a good way to teach the congregation about genetic entropy.

4. Potential risks of the image
Homers may find this image alluring. I would recommend admiring it in the presence of a Senior Pastor.Yours in Christ,

Elmer :bye:

Pim Pendergast 05-11-2015 10:48 AM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
1 Attachment(s)
Here are two of my favorites.

1. The Destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah by John Martin, 1852.
http://www.pbart.com/wp-content/uplo...n-Martin-1.jpg

i. Craftsmanship and general quality
Excellent. Martin was one of Britain's foremost nineteenth-century artists, and his influence continued long after his death.

ii. Compatibility with the Bible
Spot on. Here we see Lot leading his daughters, who would later take advantage of him when he was drunk (Gen 19:30-38), away from Sodom (Gen 19:15-16) as the Lord rained down fire and brimstone (Gen 19:24-25). His wife, however, looks back and is turned into a pillar of salt (Gen 19:26).

iii. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message
This painting conveys a simple yet timeless message: God hates fags (Lev 18:22; 20:13; Rom 1:26-27). The male inhabitants of Sodom were all homosexual and attempted to rape the two angels God had sent to check the city out (Gen 19:1-11). The New Testament reminds us that the story of Sodom and Gomorrah is an example for unbelievers today.

2 Pet 2:6 And turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrha into ashes condemned them with an overthrow, making them an ensample unto those that after should live ungodly;

Jude 1:7 Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.


iv. Potential risks of the image
I don't see any risks associated with this image.

2. The Deluge by Gustav Dore, 1866.
Attachment 24674

i. Craftsmanship and general quality
Not bad, although it originally appeared as an illustration in a corrupt French version of the Bible based on the Vulgate.

ii. Compatibility with the Bible
While the Bible doesn't contain descriptions of the ungodly trying desperately to cling on to anything they could to survive, I think we can safely assume that there would have been scenes like this. We do know that the Flood was an historical event that wiped out all living creatures save Noah, his family and the animals aboard the Ark.

Gen 7:21-23
21 And all flesh died that moved upon the earth, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of beast, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth, and every man:
22 All in whose nostrils was the breath of life, of all that was in the dry land, died.
23 And every living substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground, both man, and cattle, and the creeping things, and the fowl of the heaven; and they were destroyed from the earth: and Noah only remained alive, and they that were with him in the ark.


This illustration reminds us that even children and baby animals were not spared.

We also know that the Flood was worldwide. It was not a local event, as some lliberal "Christians" would have us believe.

Gen 7:19-20
19 And the waters prevailed exceedingly upon the earth; and all the high hills, that were under the whole heaven, were covered.
20 Fifteen cubits upward did the waters prevail; and the mountains were covered.


In this illustration we see a tiger from Africa sharing a rock with Caucasians trying to escape the rising waters. This illustration may not be compatible with geography, but it is compatible with the Bible. It depicts a global Flood.

We also know that all animals (and humans) were herbivorous at the time of the Flood (Gen 9:1-17).

Gen 1:29-30
29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.
30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.


This is why the tiger in the illustration isn't trying to eat the people on the rock or attack them. Animals only began to fear man after the Flood.

Gen 9:2 And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast of the earth, and upon every fowl of the air, upon all that moveth upon the earth, and upon all the fishes of the sea; into your hand are they delivered.

iii. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message
As with the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, the story of Noah's Flood still has relevance today.

Mat 24:37-39
37 But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.
38 For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark,
39 And knew not until the flood came, and took them all away; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.


This illustration reminds us of the might and extent of God's wrath. He destroyed the earth with water once. He will destroy it again with fire.

2 Pet 3:10 But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.

iv. Potential risks of the image
For some reason all the people in this illustration have lost their clothes. This illustration is certainly not suitable for the viewing of women and children and weak ex-gay men who may still struggle with unnatural affections.

Quentin W 05-11-2015 11:53 AM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Adorable Jesus

Might not be here, might not...

if not go here: *** deleted ***

Billy Bob Jenkins 05-11-2015 03:39 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
From experience I have learned that no image of the Buddha can exist without a subliminal reference to anal sex. Knowing this, I decided to inspect this image and free my mind from the subliminal shackles of sodomy which the artist attempted to place me in. I learned that the angle of the Buddha's hips, and his virile disposition, are meant to implicate the penetration of both Christ and the cow, by means of his massive engorged member which is nearly visible through his robes. Disgusting.

Elmer G. White 09-14-2015 04:59 AM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Brethren,

I initially introduced this systematic method of art assessment based on four Godly criteria:

1. Craftsmanship and general quality
2. Compatibility with the Bible
3. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message
4. Potential risks of the image

I'd now like to add an important new criterion based on the historical developments during the last few months. Subject matter.

1 Corinthians 14:32
And the spirits of the prophets are subject to the prophets.


As we now have new-found hope and - dare I say - the new and probably the last great prophet before the End of Times, it is only appropriate that great art has been produced depicting HIM. We've seen earlier that nor does Satan fail to meddle, as atheist demonic art has also been produced modelling this great person. We need not reproduce those vile images here. Let us concentrate on real high-quality artwork instead! :)

https://static.ylilauta.org/files/qc...val-Office.jpg

1. Craftsmanship and general quality
  • Excellent proficiency of the visual art techniques. The background decorations are first class and obviously the subject matter is wonderful.
2. Compatibility with the Bible
  • This conveys perfectly the Christian message of Great Kings and Great Prophets.
  • Luke 7:26 - But what went ye out for to see? A prophet? Yea, I say unto you, and much more than a prophet.
  • Verily, much more than a prophet. The Leader of the Free World and a Personal Friend of Christ, our Lord.
3. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message
  • Very useful, shows in glory the man we should follow and revere. This leads children to obedience and subjugation.
  • Romans 5:19 - For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous.
4. Potential risks of the image
  • I can see quite a few True Christian™ women falling behind in their domestic chores as they'll spend hours before this image admiring and contemplating it.

Second painting. This one is initially confusing but do not let your prejudices regarding modern art (this one is impressionist abstract pop-art surrealism) distract you. Let us give this piece an unbiased assessment!

http://bijijoo.com/blog/hyrax/2011/0...gs-bijijoo.jpg

1. Craftsmanship and general quality
  • Again, very skilled albeit not with quite as much virtuosity as in the first image.
2. Compatibility with the Bible
  • Many critics have taken this piece as criticism targeted at the Donald. That is a mistake. This image is extremely Biblical. First of all, it associates the Donald with nutritive items of processed meats. You may ask where the message is. I say, this is the message:
  • Matthew 4:4 - But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.
  • Verily, not bread alone. We also need a Godly message. The Donald can provide us with that message. Of course, in addition to bread we also need processed meats (Genesis 9:3) which is taken into account in a delightful manner in this great piece of art!
3. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message
  • Extremely useful by emphasizing the significance of the Word of God in the midst of gluttony and processed meats.
4. Potential risks of the image
  • I can see quite a few True Christian™ women falling behind in their domestic chores as they'll spend hours before this image admiring and contemplating it.

I am utterly convinced that many more wonderful works of art, not only in the field of visual arts but also in the opera, theater, pantomime, weaving, comics and cinema. All the artists will soon take on the Donald as the subject matter and produce magnificent works that will lead millions into the warm embrace of Jesus!

:praise:


Yours in Christ,

Elmer :bye:

Fred Hall 09-15-2015 03:27 AM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Harsha Shah (Post 1113724)
Yes. Harsha Shah here. I wish to show you my favourite piece of artwork of Jesus.
http://data.whicdn.com/images/856140...d4_h_large.jpg
Yes, it is beautiful. Jesus is walking together with boodha, the holy cow and krishna and there are also statues of indigenous American peoples. The style is naive, I know, but not unlike that of Grandma Moses, a famous American painter. They are happy, they are respecting one another, yes! They are walking to the same direction, I am thinking, to human happiness. They have only a narrow bridge and beyond the bridge is the land of reconciliation of all faiths. And there is no big chasm, only a friendly brook to pass. All together for the common goal. I think jesus would have wanted this. Yes, he certainly would. This is very useful and I have been showing it at school to children who seem to understand it intuitively. Beautiful. Yes.

That picture is absolutely sickening.

1st: 1 Cor 11:14 - "Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?"

Your picture dishonors Jesus, because it depicts him with long hair.

2nd: Proverbs 23:20-21 - "Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of flesh: For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags."

Your picture also shows Jesus associating with a known glutton (Buddha). There is no way our Lord and master would tolerate such gluttony.

3rd: God hates false Gods and demons! Exodus 20:3 - “You shall have no other gods before me." That picture has the blue Indian demon god Krushna in it. Despicable.

In short, that picture is an abomination, and the artist that created it will burn in hell forever.

FNAFanatic 09-23-2015 04:15 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
If I may recommend:
Deviantart

I know many here believe the site is filled with satanic-drawings and lots of porn, but if you search the right words, you'll find a nice selection of pictures fit with Jesus and possibly journals with passages of the Bible.

You just have to search the correct key terms to find what you're looking for. :)

Mary Etheldreda 09-25-2015 07:15 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by FNAFanatic (Post 1159455)
If I may recommend:
Deviantart

I know many here believe the site is filled with satanic-drawings and lots of porn, but if you search the right words, you'll find a nice selection of pictures fit with Jesus and possibly journals with passages of the Bible.

You just have to search the correct key terms to find what you're looking for. :)

What I don't understand is why anyone would take such risks. Let's say I'm looking on this deviant web site for pictures of my glorious LORD, oh, say reposing to the music of all creation, animal and vegetable, praising His name, or maybe basking in the sweet aroma of the burning flesh of one of these praising, four-legged creatures (Numbers 29:2), and inadvertently stumble upon the image of a greasy-haired ruffian having his way with some startled farm animal instead. Certainly I can't be blamed for seeing this image for it was not my intent, but that makes no difference when considering the effect of such an event. Whether or not this trauma is accidental is of no consequence to the fact that Jesus, Who sees everything I see, will have exposure to such a violent act of barnyard aggression. How can a good and loyal True Christian™ take such a chance at being the one to expose her very Savior, the One who suffered for an entire long weekend for her redemption, to such a horror? What an awful suggestion. It could only be born of a pervert who gets off on flashing his naughty bits to decent women and children for the thrill of virtual rape.

FNAFanatic 09-25-2015 10:48 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda (Post 1159801)
What I don't understand is why anyone would take such risks. Let's say I'm looking on this deviant web site for pictures of my glorious LORD, oh, say reposing to the music of all creation, animal and vegetable, praising His name, or maybe basking in the sweet aroma of the burning flesh of one of these praising, four-legged creatures (Numbers 29:2), and inadvertently stumble upon the image of a greasy-haired ruffian having his way with some startled farm animal instead. Certainly I can't be blamed for seeing this image for it was not my intent, but that makes no difference when considering the effect of such an event. Whether or not this trauma is accidental is of no consequence to the fact that Jesus, Who sees everything I see, will have exposure to such a violent act of barnyard aggression. How can a good and loyal True Christian™ take such a chance at being the one to expose her very Savior, the One who suffered for an entire long weekend for her redemption, to such a horror? What an awful suggestion. It could only be born of a pervert who gets off on flashing his naughty bits to decent women and children for the thrill of virtual rape.

No no, it is a suggestion. Of course, I would help out by looking for you for approval of some pictures made, but I did and I seemed to get called out on it.
I am willing to take a risk of looking through any fowl photos to find something decent. I just wish people would give me a chance.

I actually have earlier on and I found some very nice pictures and drawings that I thought would have been favored by some if not all of the Christians here.
I do agree as there are quite a few mocking/horrible pictures showing awful things. But believe it or not, there are some good things on there but the hard part is looking through the bad.

My apologies as I had not thoroughly explained my thought. That is my fault.


I do try to see the light in most things, as that is my nature so if I continue to try and defend something, I do apologize even more.

Didymus Much 09-25-2015 11:02 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by FNAFanatic (Post 1159820)
...I am willing to take a risk of looking through any fowl photos to find something decent...

Just stop with the trying to slip pics of your big red cock into this forum. :nono:
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http://64.71.133.195/arfcom/mycock.jpg

They should go straight to Zeke's inbox.

FNAFanatic 09-25-2015 11:29 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Didymus Much (Post 1159821)
Just stop with the trying to slip pics of your big red cock into this forum. :nono:
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http://64.71.133.195/arfcom/mycock.jpg

They should go straight to Zeke's inbox.


Ok for one, I am a girl. If I ever had one, I would feel way to shy to actually post any kind of pictures like THAT..

And two: You made me chuckle with the chicken picture... thank you for that.

Also, how do you know not to trust me if you haven't given me a chance?
I'm trying to be helpful and you push me away I'm TRYING here!!!

Cranky Old Man 09-25-2015 11:34 PM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by FNAFanatic (Post 1159826)
I'm trying to be helpful and you push me away I'm TRYING here!!!

No one wants or needs your help. Why? Because you are utterly useless. But I am fairly sure you know that already.

Fortunately Jesus is here to help you! He knows all of us are useless (Romans 3:23, Romans 3:10). He knows almost everyone will fail at life and burn in Hell (Matthew 7:13-14). All Jesus want's you to do is to cut off the parts of your body you use for sinning (Matthew 5:29-30, Mark 9:43-48). In your case I am thinking tongue and hands. Please chop them off as God commands (Mark 9:43-48) and then report back here.

Mary Etheldreda 09-26-2015 12:40 AM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by FNAFanatic (Post 1159820)
I do apologize even more.

But not enough. Your "offer" to look through yards and yards of perverted pencil drawings of engorged sin is so upsetting to me that I've been sick since reading your post. My poor children have been cleaning up vomit all day, in addition to their home schooling, copying the Holy Bible, preparing for AWANIS, and changing the diapers of our elderly silver tither members of the church who are homebound until Jesus personally comes to retrieve their souls from their wrinkly, disgusting bodies. I find you to be a rude, uncharitable contributor to our forums, and pray you will look deeply into your own decrepit soul to find the sin that keeps you from Jesus' favor.

FNAFanatic 09-26-2015 01:02 AM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda (Post 1159833)
But not enough. Your "offer" to look through yards and yards of perverted pencil drawings of engorged sin is so upsetting to me that I've been sick since reading your post. My poor children have been cleaning up vomit all day, in addition to their home schooling, copying the Holy Bible, preparing for AWANIS, and changing the diapers of our elderly silver tither members of the church who are homebound until Jesus personally comes to retrieve their souls from their wrinkly, disgusting bodies. I find you to be a rude, uncharitable contributor to our forums, and pray you will look deeply into your own decrepit soul to find the sin that keeps you from Jesus' favor.

Fine fine. If you must...

Roland 09-26-2015 01:14 AM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by FNAFanatic (Post 1159839)
Fine fine. If you must...

Isn´t this something you should do, James 5:16? May I then suggest you read Ephesians 5:1-33.

FNAFanatic 09-26-2015 01:20 AM

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Roland (Post 1159841)
Isn´t this something you should do, James 5:16? May I then suggest you read Ephesians 5:1-33.

I'm more curious how you got the name 'Obese Swedish Meatball'


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