What is Freehold, Iowa like? thread
 

Many of out visitors ask what is Freehold, Iowa like. I would like to share our impressions of Jesus favorite Hearland American city here. Let all of us who are lucky enough to live in Freehold give witness to why it is the best Christian community.

For me Freehold is where those with true American (as in United States of America) virtues (and blood) live. To be live in Freehold is to possess innate goodness found nowhere else on Earth. The actions of such folk are beyond critique. These are, farmers on family farms, who cannot tell a lie, working from sun-up to sundown, where there are no gay people, no liberals, no minorities, no greedy unions demanding handouts from their employers, no Jews with their effeminate intellectual sophistry and snarky satire, or Muslims with their swarthy strangeness and hatred of our freedoms, or agnostics or atheists with their inability to tell right from wrong, where they mock the idea of government-funded education and health care, and no one ever questions authority.

You see, for me Freehold is as close as we can get to paradise on earth.

God Bless,
BJ Tabor.

Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred
 

Freehold, Iowa is a wonderful place. Imagine a place full of quality, worthwhile people. There are no scungy, homeless people walking down the street, because Jesus provides for us all. Everywhere you look there are reminders of Him. It's absolutely wonderful. The only downside is, when the rapture takes place, some people won't notice the difference. :innocent:

Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred
 

Yes, Freehold is a little slice of Heaven on earth. A place where a lady can wander in her gardens without fear that some crazed person will try to lay unclean hands on her; a place where the food is plentiful, the water and air are pure, and the words of our Lord are almost audible in the song of the birds as they wing their way between the beautiful, blossoming trees. A place where there are the fewest DEMONS per capita than anywhere else on earth.

If home is where the heart is, then Freehold is my home in the truest sense of the word. GLORY!

Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred
 

Freehold is the absolute most beautiful city in Iowa, if not the entire upper central Midwest. Freehold's official motto is: "City of the Future." I don't much care for that deliberately non-secular official motto, but it is a very pleasant, friendly town. You might hear people from neighboring towns like Storm Lake and Ogdenville disparage Freehold as "Strip Mall Hell," or "Wacko Town," or "Churchyville," or "Freakhold," or "Fundiehold," or "Fakehold," but I chalk that up to stupidity, jealousy, or The Athiestic Agenda of Death.

Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred
 

One must praise the competency and efficiency of the town's municipal works dept. Detailed pothole reports can be made via google maps and a cellphone. They are usually fixed within 48 hours.

I also appreciate the abundance of parking despite the lack of parking meters or restrictions.

NHO (neighborhood only parking) stickers make keeping our streets clean so much easier now. If there is a strange car without a sticker outside of my house, all I need to do is make one call and the car is towed away.


Praise, Freehold!

Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred
 

Wow, Where do I start?

I'll start tomorrow. Today, I'll say this:



It's a good place to raise a boy.

Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred
 

Have you ever been here, Judas?

I think you have stolen Dr. Bond's identity. He had metastatic pancreatic cancer some time ago, and hadn't been heard from nor seen for months. Suddenly you appear online, claiming to be him, but also claiming to have been at church services where nobody has seen you.

:hmmm:

Something's mighty fishy here.

Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred
 

Freehold is like the Garden of Eden, but with electric lights and indoor plumbing, and a crack security team to keep the unsaved from entering instead of an archangel with a flaming sword. A quick glance at a map of the LBC campus will show you that whatever you might need to lead a life of Christian joy and service to the Lord can be found in Freehold.

I've lived in many places in my life, and seen even more. None is even remotely like Freehold, IMHO.

Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred
 

One of the things I like about Freehold are the little people who service the daily needs of your average True Christian™. Joe and Gladys Pitt run my favorite "mom and pop shoppe" in the center of town. A nicer couple you couldn't hope to meet.

Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred
 

I love Freehold it's the best place ever. I wish that all of America could live up to the glory that is Freehold. If only all of America were True Christians, the world would be such a better place.:jesus:

Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred
 

I shop here frequently Pastor Zeke. They do not worry about all that silly Federal paperwork. GLORY!

Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred
 

Hey Pastor, I was wondering why kind of Guns that shop carries. Is it pretty much just small arms, or rifles also? If they carry anything heavier than a .338, that would be pretty cool.

Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred
 

Yes, indeed! This is one of the conveniences that Mr. Thyme in particular very much appreciates, especially for his bulk purchases.

Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred
 

They have an amazing selection of weapons for the True Christian Warrior®, and can order in just about any firearm known to man. Here's some video from the Great Winter Witch Roundup we held in January. Just as we spotted our first coven, Brother Joe showed up with a truckload of Vietnam-era M72 rocket launchers:


I'm not sure how we're going to top that for the summer witch hunt, but there have been rumors that the Pitts have an inside track on a surplus Black Hawk assault helicopter.

Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred
 

I'd like to revive this thread with one request. Please provide plenty of pictures (if security allows).

Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred
 

Happy to oblige. Here's the baptismal fountain outside the Ronald Reagan Convention Hall and Chastisement Center:

http://www.solidrockchurch.org/images/king_fount.jpg

Off to the right, you can barely make out the construction site of the All Purpose Multi Temple. Is there anything in particular that you'd like to see?

Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred
 

Actually, I'm looking for homes (Gold Tithing Level and above), popular social gathering places (other than church) and gun/ammunition shops. I'm considering moving to Freehold (after my security clearance upgrade) and I'd like to know the best places to socialize and shop, by sight if possible. Thanks.

Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred
 

This is a picture of the servants quarters, I am reluctant to put up a photo of my mansion for security reasons.

YIC,
Sayved
:jesus:

http://comps.fotosearch.com/bigcomps...5/73072010.jpg

Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred
 

Here is a picture of Pastor Deacon Fred's new house. It was designed after the home of a famous sickular actor who I will not mention. The little jet is one of the Landover AirJesus planes, the big jet Pastor just got and it is waiting to be refitted and painted.

Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred
 

I would hope not Brother Aaron, Pastor Deacon Fred would be very upset if he knew. :nonono: