Quote:
Originally Posted by DolliMoans
SISTER DOLLI'S Q&A CORNER
Letters to me from real kids wanting to learn facts from Jesus
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Tommy Princemetal, age 8, writes :
"Miss Dolli, why is it when I eat peanut butter it makes my throat feel all swollen and dry like I'm choking and sticks to the top of my mouth?"
ME: Hello Tommy - it concerns me that you feel fit to simply eat peanut butter from the jar, rather than between two pieces of bread like a normal person. Nonetheless, I commend you on your choice of condiment, peanut butter is a wholesome ingredient to consume, and is a sign that God is commanding you to follow His Path. Peanut butter is not directly inferred to in Scripture, however peanuts are legumes born from seed, which God granted man to consume as meat of sustenance.
Genesis 1:29: And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.
Isaiah 7:15: Butter and honey shall he eat, that he may know to refuse the evil, and choose the good.
It's also a bonafide fact that atheists curl in terror by the undeniable proof in the peanut butter illuminating the truth of God! For the Godless, the Truth is always hard to swallow!
The other explanation is your one of those allergic types, and therefore an abomination before God.
Sarah Smythe-Poots, age 6, writes:
"Hi Miss Dolli, Im sorry ifs this rude of me to ask, ifs men doctors who examine girls hoochies is called ginacollageests, what are girl doctors who check little boy choo-choos called?"
ME: Short answer Sarah, perverts. Under no circumstance should women be touching sensitive male areas, let alone be allowed to become practicing medical doctors. It's for this reason there is no real word for such profession, except a prostitute. What does the Bible say about prostitutes?
Leviticus 21:9 And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire.
Now Sarah, I've met the good Reverend Smythe-Poots, and I'm sure he'd be very cross to know you've learned a big word,"gynaecologist". It's time you stop wasting your time contemplating such filth and start tithing your milk money you've been keeping from Jesus, or else your harlot ways will be met by Hellfire!
Moonshine Fourfeathers, age 7 writes:
"None of the white kids at school want to play with me at school. I think its because of my red skin, and that makes me sad. Does Jesus really love everyone, even Indians?"
ME: Moonshine, it saddens me that you were seen fit to be born into a lazy, shiftless, alcoholic Injun clan, however this is the Lord's Will of course, and He has reasons for everything. Admitting there's a problem is the first step to turning to God's for His Loving Guidance. You'd be interested to know the Bible makes little mention of your people, except in possibly the most obscure of reference in Genesis 10, in the sons of Japheth, as some vague Asiatic offshoot. For this, I may be of little help. However, to answer your question to why the little white boys and girls on the playground won't associate with the likes of you, could by my inference be due to the musky aroma of rolled tobacco and distilled corn permeating your rags. Also, I can't help but I feel any relevant Scripture will roll off someone who refers to The Lord as "The Creator". Therefore, my best advice is to remove yourself from that white school entirely and have yourself specially placed somewhere more befitting to your character, or better yet, a nice kitchen to busy yourself in.
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Hello, Dolli! Excellent advice, dear Sister! I couldn't agree more; your answers are "spot on". I might add, though, that for the dear Moonshine youngster who asked why nobody likes him/her/it, he/she/it might like to consider another startling bit of truth: who on Earth wants to get scalped? A blessed day to you, dear Dolli. Sincerely, Isabella W.