[BrotherLarry]

Sister Grandma Isabella,


That davenport is FABULOUS! It will look great in my great room with the white faux fur carpet and lifesize portrait of Judy Garland (um, given to me by a man who was a CLOSE friend of John Wayne, the very heterosexual actor). I can't thank you enough.


But first, I need a great room. And a house. I'm still trying to decide between La Paz, Bolivia and somewhere far from New York City like New Rochelle. (If it was good enough for wholesome Mary Tyler Moore, it's good enough for me. The Petries had to have left some good karma.)


Sister, I almost vomited when I saw the picture of Mayor Peter kissing another male - someone I assume he knows? It won't be long until this behavior becomes commonplace. In my ministry to the gays, I've seen it up close and personal. Gay lips have often tried to find congress upon my unwitting brow. Of course, the power of JESUS protects me. I have often been prostrate on the floor as tens of gays touch me inappropriately, but their seed found no purchase on my nether regions. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. (Psalm 23)


When I was just a novice at ministering to the homer population of this country, I remember an ex-gay who had been through the Landover Ex-Gay program pulled me aside and held me close and whispered tenderly, "You must stay the course." Indeed, as we lay in his bed which he so graciously offered me so I wouldn't have to walk the almost 20 blocks home that night, he cried out to God many times and I like to think it was because of something I did. I still think about that moment now and then, and realize I am just in the place I should be - God's Perfect Will.


Well, I've rambled on enough, my dear, sweet, kind, loving, adorable precious lady. May our Lord walk with you today and sing sweet psalms of deliverance and truth in your beautiful ears.


BrotherLarry