Welcome to God's favorite forum, mole.
You indeed seem distressed. You need to understand that the Pastors and True Christians do want to help you in every way we can. It may be difficult for some to understand the bi-polar behavior you have displayed on this message board, but I do.
Put away the bottle, put away the anger. Come to Jesus. Shout Glory!
I'll be praying for you. I know the Pastors are.
Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus