[Daisy Mae Johnson]

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a
priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red
lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn
coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the
man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes
arthritis?"

The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with
cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man,
sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned"
and returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and
apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so
strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here
that the Pope does."