[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Whereas tobacco is a matter of free will and may in certain circumstances mean that you are Called to Glory earlier than expected, and whereas

Ex:15:3: The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name.

is pretty clear as far as arms are concerned, I must condemn wholeheartedly anything and anyone who would possess pictures of men in the same photograph as women (save where they are married or under parental control.)

I am told that this “pornography” often shows scenes of a racy nature, such as ladies in underwear together with men in sporting poses. There is no need for this on this earth and there certainly will be none of it in heaven where bits below the waist will be superfluous.

Anyone found dealing in, possessing, buying, selling, reading, or even discussing or being told of such vile filth will be denied the taxation advice of our very expensive joo accountants and may have their seat at church auctioned off.