Hey guys! Covfefe! I need some extra tithes asap! I have fears that some of the gold that I consume won't survive the powerful digestive juices of my stomach. Recently, Donald alerted me to this calamity (he only takes McDonald's stuff because of this) and now I've found a solution. Gold Pills in
capsule form. I've started taking these 3 capsules 4 times a day to "turn my innermost parts into chambers of wealth".
FYI, this is something that Jesus would have loved!
Quote:
Matthew 23:17
Ye fools and blind: for whether is greater, the gold, or the temple that sanctifieth the gold?
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I am the Temple!
Quote:
1 Corinthians 6:19
What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
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My Temple needs to be sanctified and I demand your help brethren! You wish to service me one day in Heaven also, don't you!? Just get this done. Now. It also makes the wiping duties of my houseboys much more agreeable to them (I do care).
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)