[OnYourKnees]

Folks -

As recent events have demonstrated, Homers come in all different flavors.

Ted Haggard, a virulently anti-Homer evangelist, turned out to be having a gay old time with a male prostitute! An NBA star has revealed his secret identity as Butt-Man!

Indeed, the old days of looking for the man who helps your wife pick out clothes, or the woman who can fix your car, are over. Homerism has invaded every level of society, thanks to aggressive marketing campaigns telling all sorts of people that Homerism is HOT!

So, let's compile a list of the signs that a friend might just be a Homer, shall we? As they come in, we can discuss their validity, then add them to the list.

Men:

Obsession with sports, particularly those which involve men in tight clothing rolling about.
Excessive knowledge of Joan Crawford movies.
Collections of Barbie dolls, tools, or sex toys.
Bodybuilding
Regular camping trips or "Boys Nights Out"


Women:

Extreme masculinity or femininity (lipstick lesbianism)
Stuffing of pants with socks
Enjoyment of movies like Thelma and Louise