Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter
Welcome, young man. I get the sense (from Jesus) that there might be some very serious sexual sin in your past, or present? In my walk with Christ after hating Him, and being a fag, it's just almost intuitive to know that a Brother is in trouble and dealing with filthy sin, of the most repulsive type.
I am here to help. The anger and the slothery are likely the result of the lust. Tell us more about the demons you battle and we will get you right with Jesus.
In Him Always
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Hello Brother Harold Porter,
First, am elated you've been able to turn away from your desires, know it must be (or have been) difficult because I am faced with mine daily it seems, but hearing you instills hope. I am and have always been attracted to the opposite sex - women are, for me, the most beautiful creatures. I'm not completely comfortable confessing my sexual past but am here for a reason so will give it a shot - please bear with me.
The roaring 20's...
This was a time in my life riddled with booze and various other addictions. I hate to admit any amount of fornication because (1) I cannot account for it all and (2) am ashamed. There are some parts with time missing. I was a partier to say the least, binging on most substances I could find. A glutton at one time, for sure. Mostly during this time sex was a cheap thrill, only satisfying for the moment with a ton of regret afterwards.
In my sexual immorality I've done things to females that totally go against His wishes or at least feel things I've done were disgraceful not only to them and myself but more importantly to God. I had a difficult time saying no and only barely escape temptation now (~2 yrs running). I am weak when it comes to sluts. Wow, that is terrible to say but feels good to get out (never said or acknowledged it before).
{have read second to last sentence several times now}
I'm starting to understand where my disgust for ungodly women comes from - the disgust of my own ungodly actions/desires. Someone older than me once said this world is like a mirror, when you see something you don't like it's usually within yourself.
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Thank you for taking the time to reach out Brother - I have a lot to pray for tonight and sincerely thank you and openly welcome any commentary, correction, etc.
Goodnight LBC