[BrotherLarry]

I have a friend (ex-friend, actually) who married a woman he did not know was partial to creating her own organisms using digitalization. He walked in on the sordid act one evening and, sadly, found it pleasurable to behold. His lust caused him to encourage her rather than write her a letter of divorcement. When he told me the unnatural and sinful tale, I immediately dropped him as a friend.


We are all sinners, saved by grace (Ephesians 2:8), and everyone here has probably partaken in the sin of Onan. I know Faith Machine has, since it is one of the reasons he is declared a spiritual predator (for far too long, in my opinion). But Jesus takes our hand and guides it as True Christians™. Can you imagine our pastor in an act of self abuse, knowing that Christ holds his hand? Of course not. The very thought of it - well - excuse me. I'll be back in a moment.


It's now 20 minutes later and I am sorry for the interruption. I just have to say that any woman who performs acts of the devil like this certainly is not worthy of a God-fearing man. We must avoid the appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22). Think: if someone saw you with a group of young boys behind the Park River School near the dumpster and they were smoking but you were not - in fact, you were busy with other things - the person who saw you might think that you were smoking too. If a man married a female onanizer - known as an onanette - people would have every reason to think he, too, was guilty of self-love. We mustn't love ourselves! We are True Christians™, darn it! Excuse my language.


I must go now and pray that I can get these images out of my mind. Whatsover things are pure...