Obviously, Dick Cheney is the only rational choice for President in '08. He has the experience, the excellent reputation for honesty, a completely unblemished record of selfless public service, and a wonderful wife. I envision a Draft Cheney movement blossoming any day now. The only question is who would be his running mate. Right now, I'm hoping that John Ashcroft will come out of retirement to issue more terror alert warnings. Failing that, here is my short list:
Lynndie England
Pat Robertson
Rush Limbaugh
Tom DeLay
Ted Haggard
Phillis Schlafly
Eric Rudolph
Fred Phelps
I know, some of them have pansy-ass liberal policies, but we need a balanced ticket in '08.