[WWJDnow]

I sometimes fellowship with a guy whose brother works in the mimeograph office at Liberty. He told me that Pastor Ezekiel and Donald Trump are the two early favorites for the job. It makes sense--both embody the Christian values that Liberty promotes, both have led successful organizations that included prestigious universities, the Landover Baptist University and Trump University, both are beloved by the Lord, and neither is tainted by any hint of sexual scandal.

As a church community, we need to up the package we're offering Pastor Zeke to make it impossible for him to leave. What is the extra $100 or $200 million per year we'd need to pay him compared to the enlightened leadership Pastor Ezekiel provides? We could structure it creatively to include royalties on our tv ministries, tent revivals, traveling puppet shows, Biblical trading cards business, Pastor Ezekiel lunchboxes, the Thief in the Night podcast, church-branded disciplinary rods for beating children and wives, the Zeke of the Week screen saver app, the Baby Jesus line of infant clothing and accessories, Landover Baptist Church on Ice, etc. I'm sure the Jews in accounting and legal will have some great ideas on how to use offshore accounts to minimize the taxes.

We're the world's largest Evangelical megachurch. We're well enough endowed that we can offer Pastor Ezekiel a large package to make him stay. So let's make this happen!