Quote:
Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington
When it comes to the dangers posed to mankind by trees, don't forget the immortal words of President Ronald Reagan:
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Amen, Brother M. Trees have killed more people than all the plagues in history! Before the US military got taken over by homos, it used to be routine policy to eliminate forests so that the enemy couldn't hide. This is why my company proudly manufactured Agent Orange during the Vietnam War - by spraying Godly herbicide, we eliminated the jungle, food crops and peasants all in one go. If it hadn't been for Agent Orange, we would have never won that war.
Speaking of war, you ever heard of
Dutch Elm Disease? That's right, we're talking about germ warfare here, infiltrating our porous national borders at the behest of tree-hugging Euroweenies!
And don't get me started on forest fires, which threaten expensive drilling and fracking equipment that my company has installed in the national forests. If we didn't have forests, we wouldn't have forest fires - any idiot can figure that out. Of course, the leftist environwackos try to pretend that we need forests for flood control, recreation, etc, but any True Christian can see their real motive - they just want a covert location for growing marijuana and filming outdoor porno movies.
Now don't get me wrong - I realize that people think trees are real pretty. Despite what some liberal haters say about me, I do in fact recognize the beauty of nature. That's why my company manufactures millions of artificial trees every year at our factory in Shanghai, China. These beautiful trees require no water, never get eaten by termites, and can be optionally equipped with hidden video cameras to protect national security.
Indistinguishable from "real" trees
In short, "reforestation" is the worst communist/terrorist plot since water fluoridation!