Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters
Acts 2:38: Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.
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Another splendid sermon -- and how I marvel at your self-constraint: How could you possible have listed so many FALSE beliefs without mentioning the greatest ABOMINATION of them all, The Catholic Church?
I shall be less polite, and for my demonstration I have here an ancient woodcut of the so-called "seven sacraments":
"Seven sacraments". The
Seven roads to HELL is more like it:
1) Paedobaptism. As St. Peter himself explained (and I quote Acts 2:38 from your sermon), we're required to
1) repent and then
2) be baptized.
1 and 2. How difficult can that be? If children/fetuses are too young to repent, they'll simply burn in Hell.
2. The Eucharist. Now get this: Lutherans and other Catholics actually eat a cookie and pretend it's the flesh of our Saviour Jesus Christ. How sick is that?
3. Confession. Sick, sick, sick. You're supposed to go inside a dark booth -- all alone with a pedophile offender wearing a black skirt. And then you must tell him all your secret desires in the darkness. Sick, sick, sick.
4. Confirmation. After a boy has been buggered by pedophile priests for a number of years, he's forced to say that it was OK that he was paedobaptized instead having gotten a REAL True Christian™ Baptism.
5. Marriage. Getting married is a fine way to
avoid sinning but it's hardly a guarantee of salvation.
Only Landover's True Christian™ pastors can give such a guarantee.
6. Holy Orders. Kissing the Devil's (i.e. the Pope's) feet and donning
a funny fish-hat. The fish-hat may be funny, but the Devil will have the last laugh.
7. Anointing of the Sick "Anointing". That's right. When you're on your death-bed, the Catholic Church will send over a known sex-offender in a black skirt to rub your body in oils and fragrances. Then when you arrive in Hell, your body is already marinated like a steak, ready for the grill. Satan must be licking his lips.