[Jesus]

Originally Posted by Roland

drivel

Originally Posted by Didymus Much

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Originally Posted by Roland

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Originally Posted by The Attention Seeker Jen

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Originally Posted by Roland

drivel

*THIS IS AN AUTOMATED REPLY BY THE CELESTIAL SERVER*

Jesus Christ, King of Kings, Savior of all those who accept Him, Son of God who is God etc. etc. has left the building. Jesus is on a well-earned vacation and concentrates on streaming services after replying to a swarm of mostly uneducated questions by sinners and Christians alike. He is also filled with unprecedented WRATH, as only too few True Christian™ men congratulated Him on His actual Birthday, while the others were preoccupied. This means that no-one else is safe.

Jesus will possibly Return® either next Christmas or after the Rapture Event™, whichever occurs first. However, it is prudent to remember that one day and a thousand years are equal to Him in His WRATH! Your questions and many others may be answered during the next episode of His visits. During His absence from social media, you may consult either Pastor Ezekiel or a senior male household member regarding any questions of True Doctrine™. Meanwhile, Jesus will continue to monitor your every thought, movement (bowel or voluntary), and sex act, in order to winnow undesirable stock from entering His Realm, Heaven.

Praise Him!