View Single Post
(#4)
Old
Brother Harold Porter's Avatar
Brother Harold Porter Brother Harold Porter is offline
Landover Senior Outreach
Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound True Christian™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Bronze Tither True Scientist™ True Christian Hotrodder Christian Love 1st Year Bible College Real American™ Friend of Jesus Ex-Gay Flat Earth One Year/1000 posts Ex-liberal Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Provider™ award Punched the most queers Tagging for Jesus Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork True Republican Early riser Teabag Patriot Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Saved 5 Years 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Stamp of Approval The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Public Awareness Medal Crown of Life Crown of Incorruptibility Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts BFF of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Asked questions later Trump of GOD True Heterosexual™ 

 
Posts: 8,238
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Freehold Senior Estates
Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Harold Porter will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for? - 10-25-2010, 02:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones View Post
This darn Obama depression is affecting our family horribly. Since we moved to Freehold, we haven't been able to sell our beautiful six bedroom house on a 1/10th acre plot in Arizona. The bank is about to foreclose on it. I have already asked the church, but they are feeling the pinch too. Pastor Zeke's Christmas gift is only going to be in the 20 thousand dollar range this year.

It's fortunate that my daughter just turned 13. She needs to be betrothed anyway.

How much do you guys think I could get for her?

She, is of course a virgin. The tokens of virginity will be there on your wedding night or you can stone her as per Deuteronomy 22:20.

She is a decent cook, but lazy about cleaning. It's my wife's fault for that. I'm sure if you have a strong steady hand for keeping her in line, she can be encouraged to get better.

Any serious bids from True Christians™ will be considered.

God Bless,
Levi
Bless you in Christ Pastor!

I will open the bidding at $1000. This may seem low, but she is only 13 and needs so much instruction. Of course, I am a happily married man and only offer my bid to help you keep your primary asset; your home. Female children are of little importance in God's plan as they are as common as kittens at a shelter.

She will be well cared for in the Porter home. Nutrition, Bible learning, aerobic workouts and swimming in our above ground pool.

What is her name? I'm thinking of calling her Emily. Is she well developed and with motor skills and stamina? Able to maintain vigorous routines in fluid repetition? Swimming requires skill.

I am prepared to bid higher if need be.

In Him!


Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

Reply With Quote