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Default Re: What is the wimpiest nation in the world? - 08-14-2009, 02:22 PM

I can't believe nobody has mentioned Haiti. Maybe because Haiti is so wimpy, people forget it even exists!


Here are a few facts about Haiti:

They are so wimpy, the whole country is PART of an island! They share it with the Dominican Republic, whose only claim to fame is that they have a bunch of Mexicans that play a lot of baseball there. That's not much, but Haiti can't even claim that much.

They are right next to Cuba, and they make Cuba look powerful. And Cubans are still driving around in American cars from the 1950's. Not because they are cool, but because that is all they can afford.

They people of Haiti were once terrorized by a dictator whose nickname was Baby Doc! How wimpy do have to be to let someone named Baby Doc run your sorry little "country"?

Over six percent of the Haitian population is infected with the AIDS. Now, we all know who has the AIDS: Homers! And who are wimpier than homers? Nobody, that's who! That alone would make you a nation of wimps, a bunch of diseased homers trying to be a country. But the ADIS rate used to be even higher, over 10%. What happened? They all died, that's what! The only thing wimpier than a homer with the AIDS is a dead homer with the AIDS!

And finally, Haiti is famous for one other thing besides being run by a bunch of diseased homers and that is Voodoo. Yep, they invented Voodoo in Haiti. They still have Witch Doctors down there!

So, you got a bunch of filthy homers, infested with the AIDS, running around trying to cure it with chicken blood and dancing, living in mortal fear of the Cubans, a guy named Baby Doc, and bunch of Mexican 15 year olds obsessed with baseball. All this is taking place in a "country" that is barely bigger than New Hampshire on the crappy part of an island stuck between the tip of Florida and where God keeps hurricanes!

Haiti is the wimpiest nation in the world by a long shot!




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