[WilliamJenningsBryan]

From what I can tell, as of today all the votes are still not in for Iowa - and for anyone that has been following all the controversy, it may turn out like the disposition of Schrödinger's cat - we may never know.

Now for any normal American these things are real simple - you show up, pick up a ballot, check off your votes, deposit in a ballot box to be counted and then go home. Not so with the Democrats - they have this thing called a "caucus".

A "caucus" is where you show up at your local precinct festooned with buttons, signs, and caps for your candidate of choice and find like minded persons to hang out with. Next you're allowed to arm wrestle, steal or otherwise deface the signs, buttons and caps of your opponents - and maybe convince others to change their minds by giving a short speech. After this "Phase I" is over, the remaining "caucus" members gather to put all their hands on a Ouija board puck to determine the final outcome - which is then reported to the "County" level where a similar process is used to then report to the "State" level to determine the delegates to the DNC convention.

Sounds complicated - so complicated in fact that the Democrats had to come up with an "App" to do the "reporting" - and as everyone knows by now the "App" has "failed". Many are now tracing the development of the "App" to the Clintons, and by many accounts Democrats can't code (referring to out of work coal miners with the suggestion that they learn to code).

Despite all the clamoring amongst the Democrats for diversity, people of color, climate change, and "if you like your personal pronoun you can keep your personal pronoun" - it dawned on someone that the goal here was to beat Trump in the 2020 election. Those "someone" are rumored to be the ominous "super-delegates" that somehow secretly control the DNC and ultimately decide who runs for president (and are still controlled by the Clintons and Obama).

If you happen to have watched the CNN "debates" you came away thinking this was a contest to see who was the best socialist - with candidates repeatedly being asked to raise their hands to see who agreed with the latest proposals being but forth as some platform yet to be established.

At the moment we seem to have the following candidates that for whatever reason seem to be the remaining contenders lined up to challenge Trump in 2020.


Joe Biden

Slow Joe has a great deal of baggage at the moment, among them being an old white guy that's been around the swamp too long - not to mention the problems with his family and the Ukraine.

These days Joe is answering questions he doesn't like with threats to beat you up. There is not much to this as Joe can't seem to remember what city and state he is in at any given time.


Michael Bloomberg

Billionaire "Big Gulp" Bloomberg is the latest to redistribute his wealth to the cause of saving the Democrats, and the DNC - always interested in ideas of what to do with other people's money, has altered their rules to let him in. In addition to passing out C notes at his rallies, Michael's idea is to ban plastic drinking straws to rescue us all from certain doom. Being short, he has demanded a box to stand on to make him look taller. Buy your own box Michael, and you certainly can afford some elevator shoes.


Pete Buttigieg

Sodomite Buttigieg seems to be the only one among the Democrats talking about Jesus. Lately he has been quoting the Bible leading to his new nickname "Pastor Pete". He hasn't yet hired a fashion designer for his "husband" - leading everyone to wonder what he is going to look like as FLOTUS.


Tulsi Gabbard

Tulsi is among the few that has remained calm and composed in the present fracas. Reluctant to be drawn into the crazed left-wing, she is presently siding with Breadline Bernie. Having served in the military, her pet peeve is the endless wars started by the Neocons.

Some Democrats seem to think she is some kind of "ethnic" minority, but in interviews she prefers to talk about her Hindu religion.

The fact of the matter is, she if from Samoa - and many forget anthropologist Margaret Mead's famous "Coming of Age in Samoa". Mead noted that young girls in Samoa had copious amounts of teenage sex growing up - unfettered by cultural norms. Evidently Epstein's jet could not carry enough fuel to reach Samoa.

It also might explain why Tulsi always remains calm and seems to always have a smile on her face.


Amy Klobuchar

Amy might just be the only smart one amongst this menagerie of crazies - by keeping her mouth shut (especially since it's hard to do when you are a woman). About the only thing we know about her is that she is in favor of lowering prescription drug prices.


Bernie Sanders

By all accounts Bernie isn't even a Democrat - he's a communist. There really is a Communist Party, and we all miss Gus Hall running for president numerous times and barely registering any votes.

Bernie prefers to call his brand of communism "Democratic Socialism", but recent leaked videos indicate that his staff wants to bring back the Gulags for Trump voters. This has no doubt led to the rumors that Trump wants to give Alaska to the Russians by executive order. Those Siberian Gulags need some place cold, and the only other place would be Canada.

Bolshevik Bernie would be doing better if he had been able to arrange to have Shakira and Jennifer Lopez sing the Internationale at the NFL Superbowl halftime show. Even so, the DNC is trying to get rid of him - just like they did in 2016 when he won 22 state delegates before the Clinton swamp shut him down.


Elizabeth Warren

The grey beaver isn't doing too well these days, having failed at trying to prove she's more socialist than Bernie. When asked how she intends to pay for all her "socialism" she is short on answers but promises to put forth a "plan". At least Bernie admits that not only does he not know, but nobody else does either.


Andrew Yang

This smart chink seems that he might have some interesting ideas, but the MSM treats him as though he just got off of a plane from Wuhan.

One thing we know - he wants to give everyone a monthly check for $1,000, but these days that won't even cover monthly rent, taxes, food and utilities. If you save up for a year you might be able to buy a used 1998 Honda in need of a valve job.

There is a video out there of him dispensing canned desert topping into the open mouths of his kneeling acolytes - an idea he may have gotten from the pope.