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Default Re: Are you smart enough to cheat the system as well as Donald Trump? - 10-02-2016, 11:09 PM

Amen! It's not unethical, he's just being a smart business man. Unfortunately, I have paid some income tax. I'm very ashamed of this fact and I'm working to rectify it as quickly as possible. I'm not quite as smart as Donald Trump yet, but I'm getting there. I just need to find a way to convince the IRS that my car, house, clothes, large TVs, entertainment, vacations, are all legitimate business expenses. How else am I going to attract clients?

Anyway, some tips for being smart.
  • Unfortunately, as I mentioned, I did pay some federal income tax. However, there is a silver lining. If you have as little money withheld from your taxes as possible, then neglect to pay them, you can call the IRS and workout a payment plan. Generally they'll give you around a 2%-3% interest rate. Not bad! You can invest this money that the IRS is loaning you into the stock market and get a much more favorable return.
  • If you ever want free medical care, look for a town with a volunteer first aid squad and call and then call 911. You'll get a checkup and medical advice for free, just reject transportation to a hospital afterwards. Alternatively, you can go to the hospital but provide fake information/address.
  • You can often find free flowers near graves and cemeteries. Not that I really suggest and self-respecting man waste time giving away flowers, but if you are going to at least don't pay for them yourselves. Graves of children tend to have better flowers.
  • Got a broken item that is out of warranty? TV, computer, etc. Go to the store, buy a NEW item, with a warranty, then swap out the old item with the new one and return the OLD item! Claim it's the new item but it broke as soon as you got it! Free replacement!
  • Work at a company that pays for travel/business expenses? You can edit your receipt in Photoshop to tack on an extra $50 or so. Nobody will notice.
  • Need a way to get cheap gasoline? Get a prepaid visa card loaded with $2, then buy as much gas as your car can carry. When you use a card at a gas pump, it’s common for the station to immediately submit a $1 charge to the card issuer for authorization. This is how the gas station confirms that the card is valid. Then they charge the full amount of the gas later. But if your card doesn't have the funds on it, they can't charge you!
  • All of the handicapped spots filled up? Cut out the bottom of a trashcan and place it over a fire hydrant for easy parking. They can't fault you unless they see you doing it! How were you supposed to know that there was a fire hydrant there?
  • Put clear skateboard grip tape over your license plate. People will be able to read it, but it creates a glare when photographed with a flash. Good for stopping big government thugs from trying to steal your money just because road ways are incorrectly displaying a red light or something. Alternatively, you can take a photo of someone else's license plate, print it out on glossy paper, and put it over your own license plate. Best used on annoying neighbors and liberal thugs. They're probably evading taxes somewhere else anyway so this just evens the scales.
  • Another good way to avoid nasty tickets. You can register your car in a family member's name (preferably of the opposite gender) and they can register their car in your name. Then when nasty big government tickets come rolling in, you can truthfully say the person in the photo is not you, because it's someone of the opposite gender.
  • Need new tires? Rent a car with similiar tires and swap them out.
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