Re: Don't Let Satan Fool You This Season -
11-23-2018, 11:34 PM
Amen, brother! Why, Mr. Etheldreda and I have recently added Pastor Zeke to our checking and savings account at Freehold Liberty Bank. It feels good knowing we can help the very moment the Good Lord places a need on the Dear Pastor. This way he doesn't have to wait for funds to come it, he has access to as many one-time emergency-love-gifts as he needs. Cookie in the office set the whole thing up. I think that's the best way to celebrate the Birth of Christ.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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