[Santa Claus]

Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole

Dear Santa,

This last year or two I noticed I've been drinking a lot more especially over the holidays. Do you have anything to help with that?

Yours truly,
Dr. Toole

Ho, Tony-boy! Still strolling the streets listening to Kire Te Kanawa and realizing her voice range by demanding a racket (not tennis)? Can deliver! In fact, can deliver not ONE but TWO great items, of which the first one is in genuine plastic! A pacifier depicting your second-favorite supernatural being, a calm former President Trump.



If you don't remove it from your mouth, and why should you, you cannot drink too much. Second, I'll deliver a healthy dose of vasopressin nasal spray to help your constant bet-wetting in case you remove the pacifier and consume liquids in excess. Isn't this GREAT!



In rhyme (obviously):
Oh say can you see
In the Christmas day light?
No puddle of pee
will stain your day nice and bright!

See your chimney soon! Ho for now!