[Santa Claus]

Originally Posted by Me, explaining what I can and cannot do

Ho, please be reminded that I do not deliver people or abstract concepts ("love", "peace of mind", etc.).

Originally Posted by Dennis the Cute but Overly Enthusiastic Boy Failing to Read the Instructions

Santa, I have a gift request: can 2020 be the year NORAD finally wises up and uses a Stinger missile to knock a certain sleigh-flying communist out of the sky to his bloody DEATH and ETERNAL DAMNATION?

Dennis Darling! Ho to you! "Wising up" is an abstraction and thus excluded from the list of potential gifts. Does it come in genuine plastic? It doesn't and that's why the Pope still lack all charisma and Slovenian top models still marry for money and not for love.

That said, you do deserve some gifts based on what you need. You'll just love this oyster mushroom growing kit in rainbow colors. And if you continue to be nice in 2021, I just might deliver a Blue Oyster one next year! How awesome is that.



And to supplement that fabulous gift, here's something in plastic! Tunnels to insert gerbils and hamsters.



This will give you hours and hours on incomparable FUN! I'm on top of the world this year, aren't I! In fact, I'm there all the time (the North Pole, you know). Ho for now. See you soon!