Only the missionary position with the man on top, dominating the wife is acceptable to Christ. The wife must never be on top because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, and you wouldn't expect Christ to submit to the church. These illicit positions are demonic and unleash evil, and now we know in what form - covid viruses.
Full disclosure: This might come off as complete, but I think I have more answers than questions.
Thanks for the illuminating response, but I think there are some linguistic problems with your answer that are, albeit diminutive, rather important. Quite, yes, of course. First and first mostly, the phrase 'head.' Well, shucks, it don't take Peter to realize the connotation of the phrase.
<<<reference to a sexual perversion removed by a friendly moderator>>> 
. I don't mean to be so crude, but I'm struggling to find a better way to express it. If the wife is the 'head,' so to speak, does this mean that
<<<reference to a sexual perversion removed by a friendly moderator>>> is acceptable? Just the thought makes me angry. I'm not sure there's an act so revolting in all of nature (minus
<<<reference to a sexual perversion removed by a friendly moderator>>>). I mean, just the thought of a dame with blond locks and dimples and scarlet lipstick and aquiline nose and bullet
<<<unnecessary reference to female anatomy removed by a friendly moderator>>> that call for me, oh boy do they call for me those sweet melons, those yabos of yonder, swing low sweet chariots swing low as the-what is she doing, is that, uh, wait, DON'T! I said DON'T. Oh Jesus, I'm a bad person. A sinner of yore. I'd probably enjoy living in Sodom. That's how bad I am. How do I get rid of these bad thoughts? I know 'head', i.e.
<<<reference to a sexual perversion removed by a friendly moderator>>>, is not good, but I don't know what to do about it. Also, I apologize if this was confusing. I'm in a bad way
