I want to break America's dependency on foreign oil, so I have created a list of Patriot wagons that have very large fuel tanks capable of storing more gasoline at once, thereby reducing the number of times you have to fuel your vehicle in a week.
My 2008 Chevy Suburban is getting old and you can bet your bottom dollar the next car I purchase will be one off this list:
Cadillac Escalade: $60,685 - $84,098
I like this one, it's got plenty of room for storing rifles in the back, and with tires like those, you can drive over the roughest of potholes and still not spill your 64 ounce cola.
It can get up to 16 miles per gallon, which I think is very reasonable, especially in our struggling Obamaconomy.
Ford F150: $22,127 - $33,685
I like the roomy backseat in this one. Plus it will help win the culture war because it was made by Ford and they didn't take any bailout money.
The F150 is a lean, mean driving machine that delivers somewhere between 18 to 21 miles to the GODly gallon.
Dodge Ram: $28,388 - $41,525
Dodge sure does know how to build a manly truck. The BFT features an extra-wide body and is perfect for navigating tricky city streets and suburban neighborhoods, and it helps prevent accidents because it discourages people from passing you.
The Dodge Ram is an American dream, whether you're puttering around town getting 14 miles to the gallon, or cruising the open highway at 20 miles per gallon.
My only concern is that it might not fit in my garage.
Mercury Mountaineer: $28,983 - $36,425
Sport Utility Vehicles are a GODly invention and every American should own one or two of them. I am seriously looking at this one as my next purchase.
Like all SUVs, this little go kart won't disappoint the American family with its fuel economy. It gets between 14 to 25 miles per gallon.
Chrysler Town and Country: $25,175 - $35,060
This baby can haul a lot of people to church at once. I had the pleasure of driving one in Kansas, and it is aptly named. They can be kind of hard to navigate around the tight corners of a fast food drive-through, but entirely worth the extra space for the daily needs of an average American family.
The gas mileage runs about 17 MPG in town and 24 on the highway.
These are the absolute best cars you can buy right now. I encourage you to buy two or three, and drive
everywhere. Walking is for communists!