[WWJDnow]

There is no end to the public schools' desire to undermine Christianity. Here are just a few of the things we know to be true from the Bible that the public schools actively deny:

Unicorns in Numbers 24:8, dragons in Psalm 148:7, fiery flying serpents in Isaiah 30:6, zombies in Matthew 27:52-54, talking trees in Judges 9:8-15, a talking donkey in Numbers 22:28-30, the ability of True Christians™ to perform miracles greater than those of Jesus in John 14:12, the remission of sin through bondage in Ezekiel 4:4-8, the fact that bad things only happen to bad people in Proverbs 12:21, and a son who is older than his biological father in 2 Chronicles 21:18-22 and 2 Chronicles 22:1-2.

As True Christians™, we know all of these things to be true. For example, Matthew 17:20-21 tells us that True Christians™ can move mountains through faith. Every couple of years we do exactly that, moving mountains by a few inches just to mess with the godless scientists. That's why measurements of mountain height keep changing. (We don't move the mountains farther because, presumably, God put them where they are for a reason, and we don't want to set God's great plan behind schedule.)

Thankfully, with our newly conservative Supreme Court, the US will soon return to a Bible-based public school education and left wing anti-Christian oppression will end forever.