View Single Post
(#1)
Old
Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
Christ's Rottweiler
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Christian Love Real American™ Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Nuts for JESUS! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Mower Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Bathfire Crown of Life Alternative Facts Probing for Jesus 20,000 posts Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default The Miracle of the Cat and the Doorbell - 09-29-2018, 03:11 PM

Mrs Bathfire gave me $100 and told me to go out and get something that makes her look attractive – She was quite annoyed when I got back drunk, but that is not the point of the message.

I discovered a Truth: On the way home, I spotted someone’s cat on the porch meowing to be let in. So, without thinking, I walked up to the door, rang the bell, nodded at the cat and left. It wasn’t until I was round the corner that I realized what I’d done when I heard the owner calling “Sarah! Sarah! That piffling cat has rung the doorbell.”

For a moment, it did occur to me that the cat could have simply copied what I had done, but I dismissed that. To the owner, there had been something that was close to a miracle, to me there had been a good deed, and to the cat… well cats are a waste of time and probably it’s forgotten the whole incident, even assuming it knew what I did in the first place.

All this leads to the facile conclusion that there are some things that are not miracles but which people think are miracles. But they are wrong… They are miracles. The Miracle of the Cat and the Doorbell was indeed a miracle – it was proof of God.

Unwittingly, I had been chosen as God's Messenger.

From the beginning of creation, God knew that in September 2018 there would be a guy and his wife at 1145 Apostles’ Drive, Landover whose faith was beginning to flag. God also knew that new and inventive things attract most attention – turning his tap-water into Californian wine would not have cut it – so, again from the beginning of time, he arranged for me, (via Mrs Bathfire) a cat and a door with a bell on it to be in the same place at the same time, and He inspired me, without my being at all aware of it, to press that bell. The only witness, the cat, could not speak.

Only a Supremely Powerful and All-Knowing God can do that.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
Reply With Quote